Archive for May 13th, 2017

The parents go out and play

Well, the parents have a burger and a beer then spend the evening griping at Eurovision, but same difference. 

Me: why are girls wearing designer jeans that are pre-ripped at the knee?
Katy: I don’t know, maybe they’re doing a lot of manual labour on their hands and knees?
Me: the only thing they do on their knees doesn’t involve their hands…

Me: see that girl?
Katy: what about her?
Me: she looks like she took my mom’s bathroom curtains, dyed them purple and wrapped them around her ass.

A Brexit-inspired mural by Banksy showing a metalworker chipping away at a star on the EU flag has appeared in Dover. The artwork emerged overnight on the Castle Amusements building near the ferry terminal, which connects the UK with mainland Europe. The mural, which was confirmed by Banksy’s representatives to be a genuine work by the elusive artist, is his first comment on the Brexit vote last year. The stars of the flag “stand for the ideals of unity, solidarity and harmony among the peoples of Europe”, according to the EU website. The mural has appeared at a difficult time, when Brexit and the increasingly frosty relationship between Theresa May’s government and the EU over negotiations on Britain’s departure have become central to the general election on 8 June. The Dover artwork is across the Channel from Calais, where a Banksy mural appeared at the main refugee camp in 2015, showing the Apple founder, Steve Jobs, whose biological father was a Syrian immigrant.

Laurie looked like a dog \
   and smelled like shit.

She had 3 vaginas \
   and just one tit.

My brain works in mysterious ways. This long-forgotten nugget of brilliance recently popped back up, out of nowhere. Ah, fun times indeed.

When you see a duck sleeping in one.