The beaver is a proud and noble animal

Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings.

Current Mood: Amused

I’ve been accumulating bits of paper with random quotes in my wallet for the past few weeks, in the hopes that I’d finally take the time to post everything. So here goes:

Katy: I always feel better after my bi-annual mental breakdown.

Me: Yell if you need aught.
Katy: God, you sound like me but with a Canadian accent. It’s so bizare!

Katy: At my funeral, make sure that everybody has lots of cake
(while we got lost, walking in a cemetery, in Leics)

Official diagnostic for the Beastie, as given by our local GP, when he was feeling under the weather a few weeks ago: Iwantadaywithmommyitis.

Katy: *laughs maniacally*
Mel: Do you have feathers down your drawers?
Me: Do I need to topiary the aviary?
Katy: You know what they say about a bird in the hand
Me: It’s worth two in the bush?
Katy: *laughs maniacally*

I agree, gentle reader, for a few of those, you had to be there :)

Current Mood: Amused

Setting: Matthieu is back from The Netherlands and brought back some Stroopwafels

Florian: ooooooooooooh!
Me: What are those?
Florian: Stroopwafels.
Me: Oh, damnit.
Florian: What? you can’t eat them?
Me: No, I can, that’s the problem. Those things are evil.
Florian: Now you complain when you can eat stuff?
Me: Yes, you can’t win.
Florian: Next time I’m in Germany, I bring back a teeeny-tiny bit of chocolate you can eat and giant bunch of stuff you can’t, so that way you have something you can eat but you can’t complain about the size of it.
Me: You know you’re evil incarnate, right?
Florian: Yes, and I love it.

Current Mood: Amused

Do you find that you’re losing your mind?
Yes, a bit.

Katy, while talking to her friend Pam, regarding spending all day with a small child and the intricacies of baby-talk

I just passed a coworker in the corridor. The following conversation is verbatim:

CW: Hello
Me: Hello
CW: It could be worse.

Buh?

Current Mood: Confused

Fire officials regarding wildfires: “GTFO.” Residents: “STFU.” Fire: “NOM NOM NOM.” Residents: “OMG.” Fire department: “DIAF”

Source: FARK.

Current Mood: Amused

It’s never too early to eat ice cream. It’s a dairy product, for God’s sake. It’s practically healthy!

Current Mood: Amused

“I know you believe you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize what you heard is not what I meant”

This reminds me so much of recent conversations with Katy :)

Ganked from Facebook.

Current Mood: Amused

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

…Janeane Garofalo

Everything his publicist told me about Alice Cooper is true. He’s articulate, funny and engaging. A Conservative Christian who’s been sober for 25 years, he’s 61; on a scale of affability, he’s far closer to his late friend Bob Hope than he is to, say, John Lydon. Age suits him; the wrinkles strangely complement his carefully dishevelled head of luxuriant, ink-black hair.

“In 1969, you said: ‘Live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse.’ That hasn’t worked, has it?”

“No. Which is funny, because all my buddies from the early days – the guys I used to drink with – they’re all dead. Jim Morrison. Janis Joplin. Jimi Hendrix.”

Taken from an article in the Independent.

Current Mood: Amused