{"id":1288,"date":"2004-06-04T19:48:00","date_gmt":"2004-06-04T19:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/2004\/06\/04\/a-bit-of-silliness-for-the-end-of-the-week\/"},"modified":"2004-06-04T19:48:00","modified_gmt":"2004-06-04T19:48:00","slug":"a-bit-of-silliness-for-the-end-of-the-week","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/2004\/06\/04\/a-bit-of-silliness-for-the-end-of-the-week\/","title":{"rendered":"A bit of silliness for the end of the week"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><u>Real Instructions That Sound Like Sexual Innuendos<\/u><\/p>\n<p>Screw Tightly. Add lubricant if needed. (oil filter)<br \/>\nBe very sure to have a good grip before starting the exercise (dumbbell)<br \/>\nInsert tab A into slot B (mortise joint)<br \/>\nIf not at desired height, try another slot. (shelving unit)<br \/>\nNot to be taken orally (found on desiccant packet)<br \/>\nBeat until stiff (eggs for meringue)<br \/>\nPlug may become warm during charging, this is normal. (cell phone charger)<br \/>\nPut your lips together and blow (how to whistle)<br \/>\nPlace your head between your legs (airplane crash)<br \/>\nDiscontinue use if discomfort starts to occur (breast milk pump)<br \/>\nLather. Rinse. Repeat. (shampoo)<br \/>\nOpen carefully so as not to spill contents (condom)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Real Instructions That Sound Like Sexual Innuendos Screw Tightly. Add lubricant if needed. (oil filter) Be very sure to have a good grip before starting the exercise (dumbbell) Insert tab A into slot B (mortise joint) If not at desired height, try another slot. (shelving unit) Not to be taken orally (found on desiccant packet)&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"more-link-wrap\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/2004\/06\/04\/a-bit-of-silliness-for-the-end-of-the-week\/\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &ldquo;A bit of silliness for the end of the week&rdquo;<\/span> &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1288","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3u9vK-kM","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1288","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1288"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1288\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1288"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1288"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1288"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}