{"id":55098,"date":"2026-02-03T16:05:29","date_gmt":"2026-02-03T16:05:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/?p=55098"},"modified":"2026-02-05T12:43:05","modified_gmt":"2026-02-05T12:43:05","slug":"meet-the-newest-gladiator-bavalanche","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/2026\/02\/03\/meet-the-newest-gladiator-bavalanche\/","title":{"rendered":"Meet the newest gladiator: Bavalanche!"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-carousel-extra='{&quot;blog_id&quot;:1,&quot;permalink&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/2026\/02\/03\/meet-the-newest-gladiator-bavalanche\/&quot;}' id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-55098 gallery-columns-2 gallery-size-thumbnail'><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/gladiators-bavalanche3.jpg'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/gladiators-bavalanche3-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/gladiators-bavalanche3-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/gladiators-bavalanche3-50x50.jpg 50w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" data-attachment-id=\"55099\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/2026\/02\/03\/meet-the-newest-gladiator-bavalanche\/gladiators-bavalanche3\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/gladiators-bavalanche3.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"1000,845\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"gladiators-bavalanche3\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/gladiators-bavalanche3-600x507.jpg\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure><figure class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<div class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/gladiators-bavalanche2.jpg'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/gladiators-bavalanche2-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/gladiators-bavalanche2-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/gladiators-bavalanche2-50x50.jpg 50w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" data-attachment-id=\"55100\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/2026\/02\/03\/meet-the-newest-gladiator-bavalanche\/gladiators-bavalanche2\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/gladiators-bavalanche2.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"1200,800\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"gladiators-bavalanche2\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/gladiators-bavalanche2-600x400.jpg\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/div><\/figure>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n<p>Real Name: Bavalanche<br \/>\nBreed: Bulldog<br \/>\nNickname(s): The Drool Doom<\/p>\n<p>Height: Low to the ground, impossible to move<br \/>\nWeight: Classified (but the floor knows)<br \/>\nSpeed: Slow start\u2026 unstoppable finish<br \/>\nStrength: Shockingly high for a creature that snores<br \/>\nEndurance: Infinite naps, short bursts of chaos<\/p>\n<p>Forged in the couch cushions of Switzerland and fueled by raw, unfiltered farts, Bavalanche brings a wet, rumbling menace to the arena. What starts as a gentle drip quickly becomes a full-scale slobber disaster. Once he commits, there is no traction, no escape, only drool.<\/p>\n<p>\ud83d\udca5 Signature moves:<\/p>\n<p>THE DROOL SLIDE \u2013 Sudden head shake creates a hazard zone no human can stand in<br \/>\nTHE BAVE BLAST \u2013 Direct eye contact followed by an unstoppable slobber launch<br \/>\nTHE NAP FAKE-OUT \u2013 Appears asleep\u2026 explodes into action<br \/>\nTHE WRINKLE LOCK \u2013 Confuses opponents with sheer facial complexity<\/p>\n<p>\ud83c\udfdf\ufe0f Arena speciality: <\/p>\n<p>The Eliminator \u2013 Turns the floor into a slip-and-fall nightmare<br \/>\nPowerball \u2013 Guards the ball by simply sitting on it<br \/>\nJoust \u2013 Unmoved. Unbothered. Slightly damp.<\/p>\n<p>\ud83c\udfa4 Catchphrase<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo traction, no mercy!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\ud83c\udfb6 Theme song <\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-55098-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/From_the_couch_to_the_arena_floorE28094Bavalanche_theme.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/From_the_couch_to_the_arena_floorE28094Bavalanche_theme.mp3\">https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/From_the_couch_to_the_arena_floorE28094Bavalanche_theme.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>\u201cLADIES AND GENTLEMEN\u2026<br \/>\nMAKE SOME NOISE FOR\u2026 BAAAAAA\u2014VAAAAA\u2014LAAAAAANCHE!!!\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cHIDE YOUR SHOES\u2026 PROTECT YOUR SNACKS\u2026<br \/>\nTHE DROOL DOOM HAS ENTERED THE ARENA!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>*Bavalanche snorts, shakes head, drool flies in slow motion. Camera zooms. Crowd loses it.*<\/p>\n<div style=\"width: 360px;\" class=\"wp-video\"><video class=\"wp-video-shortcode\" id=\"video-55098-1\" width=\"360\" height=\"480\" preload=\"metadata\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"video\/mp4\" src=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/wp-1770228800207.mp4?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/wp-1770228800207.mp4\">https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/wp-1770228800207.mp4<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Real Name: Bavalanche Breed: Bulldog Nickname(s): The Drool Doom Height: Low to the ground, impossible to move Weight: Classified (but the floor knows) Speed: Slow start\u2026 unstoppable finish Strength: Shockingly high for a creature that snores Endurance: Infinite naps, short bursts of chaos Forged in the couch cushions of Switzerland and fueled by raw, unfiltered&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"more-link-wrap\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/2026\/02\/03\/meet-the-newest-gladiator-bavalanche\/\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &ldquo;Meet the newest gladiator: Bavalanche!&rdquo;<\/span> &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[590,317,132],"class_list":["post-55098","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-chonk","tag-dog","tag-random-shit"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3u9vK-ekG","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55098","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=55098"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55098\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":55128,"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55098\/revisions\/55128"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=55098"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=55098"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=55098"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}