Posts Tagged “shrill”

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You know the advert I’ve been trying to find for years, the one that is forever on the tip of my brain and keeps harassing me? Turns out I’ve had the jingle on my laptop for years.

I’m still no closer to identifying the damn thing, but isn’t that a kick in the pants!

As part of a work project, I’ve had to comb through a couple of thousand of food pictures associated with user-generated recipes. Dear food bloggers, could you do me a big favour? Yuge favour?

LEARN TO FUCKING TAKE A PICTURE THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOUR FOOD LOOK LIKE 70’S ERA DOG SHIT!

Seriously! I’ve seen medical textbook pictures that look more appealing! The most obvious crimes I’ve seen are:

– Bad lighting. Really, really, really bad lighting.
– Blurry, out of focus pictures. In this day and age?
– Automated date/timestamp overlaid on the pictures. That might be useful for your family holiday pictures, not not for your food blog.
– Content completely unrelated to context. See above picture.
– Ugly plates. Unless the picture was indeed taken in the 70s, nobody should have orange, brown and yellow plates.
– Trying to go completely artsy-fartsy. Just… stop.
– Pictures of brown sludge. Or white sludge. Or beige sludge.

Some – many! – of the pictures I’ve seen make the google image search of “bad food pictures” look like they were taken by professional photographers.

Please. You’ve probably spent a fair amount of time cooking that food. You seem to have a certain amount of pride in it, otherwise you wouldn’t be blogging about it. Why are you shooting yourself in the foot and making it look as unappetizing as humanly possible?

Another bunch of fucktards decided to follow an ideology of hatred and kill a bunch of people out for a walk or a drink. This will do nothing for their goals, except playing into the hands of equally small minded, angry people on the other side. 

It’s tragic in its futility. It’s infuriating that people are using this senseless act to try and push their own agenda. You have this coming from the Muppet-in-Chief of the US:

And then you have the PM trying to say, See? See? I told you so! Except her party and government have been in charge and stirring the pot for the last few years. Shit, she has me agreeing with Nigel! FUCKING NIGEL!!! 

A very cynical part of me is wondering if the back channels might have pushed the crazies into acting, so that Boris could flail around and say “Durr! Corbyn won’t protect you against the bad people” and Theresa could act all strong and stable. 

The only thing preventing me from going down that road is that the current government is full of muppets who don’t have two neurons to connect together across the whole lot of them.

I was in the UK for 5 days a couple of weeks ago. It cost me 70CHF in roaming charges. 12CHF for 120kb of data works out to 100CHF per mb (or 100,000CHF per gb).


salt-roaming

rage

inequality

62 Richest people in the world according to Oxfam (2014)
1. Bill Gates ($76bn)
2. Carlos Slim Helu & family ($72bn)
3. Amancio Ortega ($64bn)
4. Warren Buffett ($58.2bn)
5. Larry Ellison ($48bn)
6. Charles Koch ($40bn)
7. David Koch ($40bn)
8. Sheldon Adelson ($38bn)
9. Christy Walton & family ($36.7bn)
10. Jim Walton ($34.7bn)
11. Liliane Bettencourt & family ($34.5bn)
12. Stefan Persson ($34.4bn)
13. Alice Walton ($34.3bn)
14. S. Robson Walton ($34.2bn)
15. Bernard Arnault & family ($33.5bn)
16. Michael Bloomberg ($33bn)
17. Larry Page ($32.3bn)
18. Jeff Bezos ($32bn)
19. Sergey Brin ($31.8bn)
20. Li Ka-shing ($31bn)
21. Mark Zuckerberg ($28.5bn)
22. Michele Ferrero & family ($26.5bn)
23. Karl Albrecht ($25bn)
24. Aliko Dangote ($25bn)
25. Carl Icahn ($24.5bn)
26. George Soros ($23bn)
27. David Thomson & family ($22.6bn)
28. Lui Che Woo ($22bn)
29. Dieter Schwarz ($21.1bn)
30. Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud ($20.4bn)
31. Forrest Mars Jr ($20bn)
32. Jacqueline Mars ($20bn)
33. John Mars ($20bn)
34. Jorge Paulo Lemann ($19.7bn)
35. Lee Shau Kee ($19.6bn)
36. Theo Albrecht Jr & family ($19.3bn)
37. Steve Ballmer ($19.3bn)
38. Leonardo Del Vecchio ($19.2bn)
39. Len Blavatnik ($18.7bn)
40. Mukesh Ambani ($18.6bn)
41. Alisher Usmanov ($18.6bn)
42. Michael Otto & family ($18.4bn)
43. Phil Knight ($18.4bn)
44. Masayoshi Son ($18.4bn)
45. Tadashi Yanai & family ($17.9bn)
46. Gina Rinehart ($17.7bn)
47. Mikhail Fridman ($17.6bn)
48. Michael Dell ($17.5bn)
49. Susanne Klatten ($17.4bn)
50. Abigail Johnson ($17.3bn)
51. Viktor Vekselberg ($17.2bn)
52. Lakshmi Mittal ($16.7bn)
53. Vladimir Lisin ($16.6bn)
54. Cheng Yu-tung ($16.2bn)
55. Joseph Safra ($16bn)
56. Paul Allen ($15.9bn)
57. Leonid Mikhelson ($15.6bn)
58. Anne Cox Chambers ($15.5bn)
59. Iris Fontbona & family ($15.5bn)
60. Francois Pinault & family ($15.5bn)
61. Azim Premji ($15.3bn)
62. Mohammed Al Amoudi ($15.3bn)

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Katy has been in the hospital for close to 3 weeks now, and we’re still not sure when she’s coming home. Every time she talks with a doctor or nurse,  she gets a different, partially overlapping bit of information. The left graft completely failed. You’ll need to have another operation. We’re not sure when. It’s infected. No, it’s not infected. Oh, it’s partially taken so we’ll keep you in to try and save it. You might not need to have another operation. But you probably will need one. We’ll reassess on Monday. Or maybe Friday.

God damn it, try and give a consistent message. I get that it’s an inexact process, and you do need to wait and see, but don’t jerk us around like this. We need to try and make plans around all of this.

I’ve been hearing a high-pitched whine for the last couple of hours. It’s been getting louder and louder. It’s been driving me completely batshit. Katy, who will undoubtedly read this, will shake her head and groan because I’m prone to hearing things like this. Even though I’m completely deaf at some frequencies – generally when she’s talking to me – I can zero in to some noises and begin to obsess about them. Which is what has been happening. I know that some of our power adapters have an electric hum to them. That’s not it. Sometimes the cat water pump has air in it. That’s not it. It is a very directional noise, coming from the kitchen area. I’ve ruled out that it’s not electric or coming from an appliance by turning off the breakers to most of the front part of the apartment. It could be the building ventilation, but I can’t think where it’s coming from. It’s not coming from Bean’s cartoons. It’s not coming from the fish tanks, laptop adapters, phone and tablet chargers, lights, fluorescents, taps…..

I JUST KNOW IT’S DRIVING ME MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

Update: Well, shiiiiiit. Fucking facepalm.

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That whistle that’s been driving me up the walls for the last 2 hours? It was coming from a bottle of coke zero left on the counter with the lid not properly screwed on.

A Grand Ayatollah in Iran has determined that access to high-speed and 3G Internet is “against Sharia” and “against moral standards.” In answer to a question published on his website, Grand Ayatollah Nasser Makarem Shirazi, one of the country’s highest clerical authorities, issued a fatwa, stating “All third generation [3G] and high-speed internet services, prior to realization of the required conditions for the National Information Network [Iran’s government-controlled and censored Internet which is under development], is against Sharia and against moral and human standards.”

Internet access has been an ongoing struggle between Iran’s hardliners, who retain key bases of power in the judicial, intelligence and security branches of government and wish to maintain strict censorship and control over all information, and the 42 million Iranians—some 55% of the population—who use the Internet. Internet speed is a critical weapon in this battle, as the authorities frequently slow the speed of the Internet as a means to render it effectively useless, thereby depriving the citizenry of the online access it needs for professional, educational, and commercial use.

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