A bit of silliness for the end of the week

Real Instructions That Sound Like Sexual Innuendos

Screw Tightly. Add lubricant if needed. (oil filter)
Be very sure to have a good grip before starting the exercise (dumbbell)
Insert tab A into slot B (mortise joint)
If not at desired height, try another slot. (shelving unit)
Not to be taken orally (found on desiccant packet)
Beat until stiff (eggs for meringue)
Plug may become warm during charging, this is normal. (cell phone charger)
Put your lips together and blow (how to whistle)
Place your head between your legs (airplane crash)
Discontinue use if discomfort starts to occur (breast milk pump)
Lather. Rinse. Repeat. (shampoo)
Open carefully so as not to spill contents (condom)