Apparently, it “snowed” in Cambridge today. Between lunchtime and breaktime, it snowed. People were talking about it like it was a big thing. So, of course, when I go outside to look at it, there was absolutely nothing on the ground. Snow that doesn't even last for a day is not proper snow. I feel ripped off.
Day: November 26, 2005
You know you're from Montreal when…
- You have ever said anything like “I have to stop at the guichet before we get to the dep.”
- Your only concern about jaywalking is getting a ticket.
- You understand and frequently use terms like 'unilingual,' 'anglophone,''francophone,' and 'allophone.'
- You agree that Montreal drivers are crazy, but you're secretly proud oftheir nerves of steel.
- You know that the West Island is not a separate geographical formation.
- You have to bring smoked meat from Schwartz's, Blue Dry and bagels from StViateur if you're visiting anyone west of Cornwall.
- You know how to pronounce Pie IX.
- You believe to the depth of your very being that Toronto has no soul but your high school reunion is held in Toronto because most of your classmates live there now.
- You know at least one person who works for the CBC, and at least one other person who used to work for Nortel.
- You're not impressed with hardwood floors.
- You've been hearing Celine Dion jokes longer than anyone else.
- You order fries 'with sauce', not 'with gravy'.
- Shopper's Drug Mart is Pharmaprix and Staples is Bureau en Gros, and PFK is finger lickin' good.
- For two weeks a year, you are a jazz afficianado.
- Everyone on the street – drivers, pedestrians, and cyclists – think they're immortal, and that you'll move first.
- You know that Rocket Richard had nothing to do with astrophysics.
- You've seen Brother Andre's heart.
- You know the difference between the SQ, the SAQ, and the SAAQ.
- You measure temperature and distance in metric, but weight and height in Imperial measure.
- You show up at a party at 11 p.m. and no one else is there yet.
- You know that Montreal is responsible for introducing the following to North America: bagels, souvlaki, smoked meat and Supertramp. Also, Chris de Burgh.
- You don't drink pop or soda, you drink soft drinks.
- You have graduated from high school and have a degree, but you've never been in grade 12.
- The margarine in your fridge is the same colour as lard.
- There has to be at least 30 cm of snow on the ground in less than 24 hours for you to consider it too snowy to drive.
- You remember where you were during the Ice Storm.
- You know that your city's reputation for beautiful women is based on centuries old couplings between French soldiers and royally commissioned whores (aka Les Filles du Roi).
- You don't understand anyone from Lac-St-Jean, but you can fake the accent.
- You've been to the Tam Tams, and know they have nothing to do with wee Scottish hats.
- You discuss potholes like most people discuss weather.
- You encounter bilingual homeless people.
- While watching an American made-for-TV movie, you realize that “Vienna” is actually Old Montreal, that “New York” is actually downtown and that the “The Futuristic City” is actually Habitat '67.
- You have yet to understand a single announcement made on the Metro PA system, no matter what the language.
- You don't find American comedians speaking “gibberish” French even remotely funny.
- You don't find it weird that there's a strip club on every corner downtown.