Month: November 2007

Lindsay, 22, has a certain confidence in her step now — compliments of what's in her shirt. “I've just always wanted them. I think breast implants are super sexy.” How much did her new breasts cost her? Not a single dime. Total strangers footed the bill for her new breasts. She explains, “Currently on our web site there is 20,297 guys willing to donate to boob jobs. I think that's incredible. I love the Internet.”

Benefactors donate at least $1.20 each time they email any of the 3,000 women waiting for implants. Lindsay said, “Probably about 10 guys really paid for my boob job.”

There have been 41 “boob jobs” paid for and completed since My Free Implants took off two years ago. In fact, 11 of those 41 surgeries happened this month. Lindsay said, “I went from an A-cup to a double-D.” As women's cup sizes grow, so does the business. Co-founders Jason Grunstra and Jay Moore expect to raise a million dollars before the year is out.

What possesses a total stranger to pay for this?

The founders explain, “For some of them, they have a lot of money… a charity type thing. For others, it's like science fiction…creating the perfect woman in their eyes.” They continued, “Guys spend hundreds of dollars on drinks at a bar on women they don't know. This might be a better investment for some guys.”

The most amount of money donated by one benefactor is $30,000 in one month by a man from the UK. The founders said they paid for just over three breast surgeries. Ninety percent of the money that benefactors donate goes directly to the woman's doctor of choice. With advertising that consists of doctor listings on the site and ten percent of the net proceeds, these entrepreneurs are in for a huge payoff, and they're not even 30-years-old.

In the meantime… women who have received the implants are thrilled. One said she thinks the two founders are brilliant. Another says, “A big thank you to Jason and Jay. You guys are a God send.”

God sends that encourage benefactors to “help improve the women's self esteem and confidence.” Lindsay agrees, “I got something I wanted for free and had fun while doing it.” She says her clothes fit better now, and everyone smiles at her more. Lindsay's benefactors didn't come away completely empty handed. For as little as $1.20 per e-mail, they got to see photos of her new figure.

Sweeping the Clouds Away
By VIRGINIA HEFFERNAN

Sunny days! The earliest episodes of Sesame Street are available on digital video! Break out some Keebler products, fire up the DVD player and prepare for the exquisite pleasure-pain of top-shelf nostalgia.

Just dont bring the children. According to an earnest warning on Volumes 1 and 2, Sesame Street: Old School is adults-only: These early Sesame Street episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of todays preschool child.

Say what? At a recent all-ages home screening, a hush fell over the room. What did they do to us? asked one Gen-X mother of two, finally. The show rolled, and the sweet trauma came flooding back. What they did to us was hard-core. Man, was that scene rough. The masonry on the dingy brownstone at 123 Sesame Street, where the closeted Ernie and Bert shared a dismal basement apartment, was deteriorating. Cookie Monster was on a fast track to diabetes. Oscars depression was untreated. Prozacky Elmo didnt exist.

Nothing in the childrens entertainment of today, candy-colored animation hopped up on computer tricks, can prepare young or old for this frightening glimpse of simpler times. Back then as on the very first episode, which aired on PBS Nov. 10, 1969 a pretty, lonely girl like Sally might find herself befriended by an older male stranger who held her hand and took her home. Granted, Gordon just wanted Sally to meet his wife and have some milk and cookies, but . . . well, he could have wanted anything. As it was, he fed her milk and cookies. The milk looks dangerously whole.

Live-action cows also charge the 1969 screen cows eating common grass, not grain improved with hormones. Cows are milked by plain old farmers, who use their unsanitary hands and fill one bucket at a time. Elsewhere, two brothers risk concussion while whaling on each other with allergenic feather pillows. Overweight layabouts, lacking touch-screen iPods and headphones, jockey for airtime with their deafening transistor radios. And one of those radios plays a late-60s news report something about a senior American official and two billion in credit over the next five years that conjures a bleak economic climate, with war debt and stagflation in the offing.

The old Sesame Street is not for the faint of heart, and certainly not for softies born since 1998, when the chipper Elmos World started. Anyone who considers bull markets normal, extracurricular activities sacrosanct and New York a tidy, governable place well, the original Sesame Street might hurt your feelings.

I asked Carol-Lynn Parente, the executive producer of Sesame Street, how exactly the first episodes were unsuitable for toddlers in 2007. She told me about Alistair Cookie and the parody Monsterpiece Theater. Alistair Cookie, played by Cookie Monster, used to appear with a pipe, which he later gobbled. According to Parente, That modeled the wrong behavior smoking, eating pipes so we reshot those scenes without the pipe, and then we dropped the parody altogether.

Which brought Parente to a feature of Sesame Street that had not been reconstructed: the chronically mood-disordered Oscar the Grouch. On the first episode, Oscar seems irredeemably miserable hypersensitive, sarcastic, misanthropic. (Bert, too, is described as grouchy; none of the characters, in fact, is especially sunshiney except maybe Ernie, who also seems slow.) We might not be able to create a character like Oscar now, she said.

Snuffleupagus is visible only to Big Bird; since 1985, all the characters can see him, as Big Birds old protestations that he was not hallucinating came to seem a little creepy, not to mention somewhat strained. As for Cookie Monster, he can be seen in the old-school episodes in his former inglorious incarnation: a blue, googly-eyed cookievore with a signature gobble (om nom nom nom). Originally designed by Jim Henson for use in commercials for General Foods International and Frito-Lay, Cookie Monster was never a righteous figure. His controversial conversion to a more diverse diet wouldnt come until 2005, and in the early seasons he comes across a Childs First Addict.

The biggest surprise of the early episodes is the rural agrarian, even sequences. Episode 1 spends a stoned time warp in the company of backlighted cows, while they mill around and chew cud. This pastoral scene rolls to an industrial voiceover explaining dairy farms, and the sleepy chords of Joe Raposos aimless masterpiece, Hey Cow, I See You Now. Chewing the grass so green/Making the milk/Waiting for milking time/Waiting for giving time/Mmmmm.

Oh, whats that? Right, the trance of early Sesame Street and its country-time sequences. In spite of the shows devotion to its target child, the 4-year-old inner-city black youngster (as The New York Times explained in 1979), the first episodes join kids cavorting in amber waves of grain black children, mostly, who must be pressed into service as the face of Americas farms uniquely on Sesame Street.

In East Harlem and Bedford-Stuyvesant in 1978, 95 percent of households with kids ages 2 to 5 watched Sesame Street. The figure was even higher in Washington. Nationwide, though, the number wasnt much lower, and was largely determined by the whims of the PBS affiliates: 80 percent in houses with young children. The so-called inner city became anywhere that Sesame Street played, because the Childrens Television Workshop declared the inner city not a grim sociological reality but a full-color fantasy an eccentric scene, framed by a box and far removed from real farmland and city streets alike.

The concept of the inner city or slums, as The Times bluntly put it in its first review of Sesame Street was therefore transformed into a kind of Xanadu on the show: a bright, no-clouds, clear-air place where people bopped around with monsters and didnt worry too much about money, cleanliness or projecting false cheer. The Upper West Side, hardly a burned-out ghetto, was said to be the model.

People on Sesame Street had limited possibilities and fixed identities, and (the best part) you werent expected to change much. The harshness of existence was a given, and no one was proposing that numbers and letters would lead you out of your inner city to Elysian suburbs. Instead, Sesame Street suggested that learning might merely make our days more bearable, more interesting, funnier. It encouraged us, above all, to be nice to our neighbors and to cultivate the safer pleasures that take the edge off taking baths, eating cookies, reading. Dont tell the kids.