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The beaver is a proud and noble animal

The beaver is a proud and noble animal

Notes from a bemused canuck

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Day: November 30, 2007

From the desk of Phineas Taylor Barnum…

Posted on November 30, 2007 By admin

Lindsay, 22, has a certain confidence in her step now — compliments of what's in her shirt. “I've just always wanted them. I think breast implants are super sexy.” How much did her new breasts cost her? Not a single dime. Total strangers footed the bill for her new breasts. She explains, “Currently on our web site there is 20,297 guys willing to donate to boob jobs. I think that's incredible. I love the Internet.”

Benefactors donate at least $1.20 each time they email any of the 3,000 women waiting for implants. Lindsay said, “Probably about 10 guys really paid for my boob job.”

There have been 41 “boob jobs” paid for and completed since My Free Implants took off two years ago. In fact, 11 of those 41 surgeries happened this month. Lindsay said, “I went from an A-cup to a double-D.” As women's cup sizes grow, so does the business. Co-founders Jason Grunstra and Jay Moore expect to raise a million dollars before the year is out.

What possesses a total stranger to pay for this?

The founders explain, “For some of them, they have a lot of money… a charity type thing. For others, it's like science fiction…creating the perfect woman in their eyes.” They continued, “Guys spend hundreds of dollars on drinks at a bar on women they don't know. This might be a better investment for some guys.”

The most amount of money donated by one benefactor is $30,000 in one month by a man from the UK. The founders said they paid for just over three breast surgeries. Ninety percent of the money that benefactors donate goes directly to the woman's doctor of choice. With advertising that consists of doctor listings on the site and ten percent of the net proceeds, these entrepreneurs are in for a huge payoff, and they're not even 30-years-old.

In the meantime… women who have received the implants are thrilled. One said she thinks the two founders are brilliant. Another says, “A big thank you to Jason and Jay. You guys are a God send.”

God sends that encourage benefactors to “help improve the women's self esteem and confidence.” Lindsay agrees, “I got something I wanted for free and had fun while doing it.” She says her clothes fit better now, and everyone smiles at her more. Lindsay's benefactors didn't come away completely empty handed. For as little as $1.20 per e-mail, they got to see photos of her new figure.

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Geek pick-up lines

Posted on November 30, 2007 By admin 1 Comment on Geek pick-up lines
  • You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!
  • I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
  • You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
  • If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.
  • I’m attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.
  • Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves.
  • You make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive
  • Do you think we can make it a step more serious and disable network sharing?
  • I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
  • I’ll treat you like my homework — I’ll slam you on the table and do you all night long
  • I wish I were your second derivative so I could fill your concavities.
  • Did you just combust?? Because you’re HOT!
  • What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply
  • Every time I see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up
  • I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
  • What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1
  • If my right leg was Christmas and my left was Easter, would you like to spend some time between the holidays?
  • Want to meet up so I can excite your natural frequency?
  • You know.. it’s not the length of the vector that counts… it’s how you apply the force
  • If I move my lips half the distance to yours… and then half again… and again… etc…. would they ever meet? no? Well in this specific case I am going to disprove your assumption.
  • If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?
  • Our love is like dividing by zero…. you cannot define it
  • Let me be your integral so I can be the area under your curves
  • Let’s discover our coefficient of friction
  • You’re so gneiss I’ll never take you for granite.
  • I less than three you….. (i < 3 you)
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Quote of the day

It was a puzzle why things were always dragged kicking and screaming. No one ever seemed to want to, for example, lead them gently by the hand.
--(Terry Pratchett, The Truth)

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