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Notes from a bemused canuck

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Day: February 20, 2008

You can't make this shit up

Posted on February 20, 2008 By admin

Castro once said: “If surviving assassination were an Olympic event, I'd win the gold medal.”

His bodyguard Fabian Escalante went back through his records and counted 638 attempts to kill the Cuban leader. Many of them were confirmed in CIA files which were declassified last year.

President Kennedy was said to have asked James Bond creator Ian Fleming for tips on how to wipe out Castro – and many of the attempts to kill or discredit him seem more appropriate to a bad Bond spoof than real life.

They included:

* The exploding cigar – a scheme to pack one of his favourite Cohiba Esplendidos with enough explosive to blow his head off after a couple of puffs.

* The poisoned cigar – another Cohiba laced with botulinum toxin, one of the deadliest natural substances in the world.

* The infected diving suit – Castro was a keen undersea explorer and CIA agents arranged for Cuban exiles to dust the inside of his suit with powder containing a deadly fungus.

* The exploding sea shells – packed with booby traps and plastic explosives, they were placed in one of Castro's favourite dive areas.

* The femme fatale – Marita Lorenz, one of Castro's many mistresses, was persuaded by the CIA to try to smuggle a jar of cold cream containing poison pills into his room. Castro rumbled the plot, thrust a pistol in her hand and told her to kill him face to face. Her nerve failed.

* The poison pen – a ballpoint containing a tiny, spring-loaded hypodermic syringe filled with poison. It was supposed to prick Castro and kill him when he picked up the pen to write.

* The mind-bending radio studio – not so much an assassination as an attempt to humiliate Castro by pumping an LSD-type gas into a studio during a live broadcast so that he would make a fool of himself on air.

* The beard-wilter – Castro was always proud of his bushy facial hair so the CIA planned to make his beard fall out, again causing him to be ridiculed. Bizarrely, the plot involved putting hair removal powder in his shoes.

Despite the ludicrousness of some of the operations against him (and his beard), Castro took the threats seriously. Delphin Fernandez, his former personal assistant, says he regularly had all his underwear burned after wearing it, so it could not be laundered with deadly chemicals.

Source: Daily Mail

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Meme-time! How many obsolete skills do you have?

Posted on February 20, 2008 By admin

Bold the ones you have, and pass it on!


* Adjusting the dwell angle on the distributor of your car's engine
* Adjusting the rabbit ears on your TV set
* Adjusting a television's horizontal and vertical holds
* Adjusting the tracking on a VCR
* Aiming C-band satellite dish
* Assembly Language Programming
* Advising someone to use WordPerfect for DOS
* Balancing the tonearm on a turntable
* Blowing the dust out of a Nintendo cartridge
* Booting off a floppy disk
* Bust apart a long computer printout
* Changing vacuum tubes
* Changing the ball or ribbon on your Selectric Typewriter
* Changing the C120 Film Cartridge in your Instamatic camera
* Changing the gas mixture on your cars carburetor
* Changing tracks on an eight-track tape
* Chipping flint or obsidian tools
* Churn butter
* Cleaning head of a VCR
* Crew a muzzle loading cannon
* Cranking a telephone
* Darning a sock
* Debugging hexadecimal dumps
* Defacing a Website
* Defrosting the Icebox
* Degaussing a CRT monitor
* Dialing a rotary phone
* Extracting square roots
* Formatting a floppy
* FORTRAN programming – though the logic is still good
* Getting off the couch to change channels on your TV set
* Getting TSRs and CD device drivers to load into DOS
* Harness a team of oxen
* Hand crank a car to start it
* Having Cash
* Hexadecimal arithmetic in your head
* Hunting a woolly mammoth
* Interpolating logarithms
* Lighting a carbide miner's lamp
* Lining up paper on a dot matrix or line printer
* Loading film into a 35 mm camera
* data from a cassette tape
* Long division
* Look for a job in the classifieds
* Looking up a business on the yellow pages
* Local Grocery Store
* Low Format a Harddrive
* Making a deer fat poultice
* 4″ floppy double-sided
* Making change in shillings and pence
* Memory Management
* Mounting a Computer Tape by hand
* Morse-coding messages
* Mailing in the order form of a catalog
* Navigate by the stars
* Navigating using a compass
* Navigate using a sextant
* Open and Administrate a Blog
* Paying for something with a check
* Putting a needle on a vinyl record
* Parking a hardisk
* Ride a penny-farthing bicycle
* Replacing Shoe Sole and Heels
* Resolving IRQ conflicts on a mother board
* Reading a paper map
* Remembering telephone numbers
* Repairing small appliances
* Rewind VCR tapes
* Respooling a chewed-up VCR tape or audio cassette
* Running a mimeograph machine
* Ripping the little holes off the sides of the computer paper
* Sending a letter
* Setting the timer on a VCR
* Setting type for printing
* Shave with a straight razor
* Shorthand
* Slaughtering Small Mammals and Birds
* Stacking a quarter on an arcade game to indicate you have next
* Tape to Tape Video Editing
* Testing radio and TV tubes
* Threading a needle
* Trim the wick on an oil lamp
* Typesetting
* Typing and sending a telex
* Using an adding machine
* Using a Typewriter
* Using a card catalog
* Using a 16 mm film projector
* Using a fountain pen
* Using a slide rule
* Using a typewriter
* Using a beeper or pager
* Using an abacus
* Using carbon paper to make copies
* Using correction fluid
* Using a fax machine
* Using a flash bulb
* Using a flash cube
* Using a microfiche
* Using a pay telephone
* Using a pay toilet
* Using a Timing Light
* Using a Log Table
* Watching a slide show with a slide projector
* Winding a watch or clock
* Winding up loose cassette tape with a pencil eraser before putting the cassette in the deck
* Writing using a dip pen

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Ho hum

Posted on February 20, 2008 By admin

I've realized that I'm feeling very blah at the moment. Part of it is probably due to the February blues, but I think there's a bit more. I've been having a lot of very weird and sometimes distrubing dreams lately (though I blame Pam's curry for a batch of those) and I find that I'm not as productive as work as I'd like (now having said that, I can still slam out some bitchin' code when I feel like it – I just don't seem to feel like it as often as I did these days).

I dunno. Sometimes it feels like I'm so anxious about getting the 5-year plan mapped out that I'm missing the day-to-day fun stuff. Thoughts about having kids, buying a house, staying in the UK or going back to Canada post-EBI, yada yada are sometimes a bit heavy going.

I sometimes wish I could somehow throw my hands in the air, say sod it all and take a reality break for a few weeks. I dunno, just hop on a plane with Katy for a long trip just the two of us, and no other worries.

But then reality kicks back in and tells me that I need to get this new code into production before the end of the week.

Yay.

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Quote of the day

Sam Vimes could parallel process. Most husbands can. They learn to follow their own line of thought while at the same time listening to what their wives say. And the listening is important, because at any time they could be challenged and must be ready to quote the last sentence in full. A vital additional skill is being able to scan the dialogue for telltale phrases such as "and they can deliver it tomorrow" or "so I've invited them for dinner?" or "they can do it in blue, really quite cheaply."
--(Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant)

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