How to make certain that your children hate you…

More parents using txt language to make their child's name gr8

The mobile phone age: More parents are using text language in their children's names. It might not be every parent's idea of a “gr8” way to name a baby. But our growing habit of using text messages to communicate appears to be having an impact on what we call our children.

Abbreviated versions of traditional Christian names are appearing on birth certificates along with “original” ways of spelling which even include punctuation marks.Anne has been changed to An, Connor to Conna and Laura to Lora. There were reportedly six boys who were named Cam'ron instead of Cameron, and according to the online parenting club Bounty, one girl born last month was born Flicity.

And basic changes to spelling have led to numerous Samiuls (Samuel) and reports of 23 different versions of Isabelle or Isabella, ranging from Izzabella to Yzabel.

Some experts have warned that odd spellings bestow no favours on the child [Editor's note: well f'n duh!!]. Albert Mehrabian, a psychology professor at the University of California who has researched the impact of irregular names, found in that “less attractive characteristics were attributed to individuals with less conventionally spelled names”.

Professor Mehrabian said: “Unconventional spelling connoted less masculinity for men and less femininity for women [and] more anxiety and neuroticism were attributed to those with less common names.”

John Dunford, the general secretary of the Association of School and College Leaders, said that it was possible that new mothers and fathers had lost the ability to spell forenames. He added: “Some of it is genuine misspelling; some is parents looking for a unique way to spell a name and some is just carelessness.

“It makes life very difficult for teachers taking the register and completing forms.”

The new names continue the trend by parents who seek to be original over the naming of their children – although not always successfully. Last year a couple were told they would not be allowed to register their son's name as 4Real. [Editor's note: these people should be shot.]

Officials in New Zealand ruled that the use of a number made it inappropriate, and Pat and Sheena Wheaton had to opt for their second choice instead – Superman. [Editor's note – really, really shot. Many times.]

In this country, other bizarre choices officially registered have included Ikea for a girl as well as Moet for boy whose parents might have a soft spot for the champagne label. [Editor's note: Horsewhipped, then shot.]

The trend is thought to be inspired by the “original” names given by celebrity mothers such as Gwyneth Paltrow, who named her daughter Apple, and Jamie Oliver's wife Jools, who has daughters Daisy Boo and Poppy Honey. [Editor's note: Quartered, whipped, then shot.]

However a spokesman for Bounty said parents were putting a lot of thought into new names as a way of increasing their childrens' individuality. Pauline Kent said: “Some of these new and different names are a way for parents to give their children a unique identity.

“It is similar to the thinking that goes in to naming a new brand of product for example – something to make them stand out from the crowd.”

Others in recent registers have followed the example of the Beckhams who famously named their eldest son after the place where he was conceived. But while David and Victoria chose Brooklyn, children in Britain have been named after places such as Finchley in North London and the cathedral city of Ely in Cambridgeshire.

Both are male names. Other examples of unusually named boys registered in the past 12 months include Rocky, Rivers, Tudor and Red. As well as Ikea, recent girls' names have included Paprica, Caramel, Bambi, Fire-Lily, Skylark and Tame which apparently stands for The Apple of My Eye.

[Editor's note: Branded, drawn, quartered, whipped, shot and then burned, with the ashes thrown into the Thames.]