Skip to content
The beaver is a proud and noble animal

The beaver is a proud and noble animal

Notes from a bemused canuck

  • Home
  • About
  • Bookmarks
  • Pictures
  • Resume
  • Wine
  • Random Recipe
  • Toggle search form

Day: January 13, 2009

The bacon tree

Posted on January 13, 2009 By admin

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden…….

‘Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell?

‘Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee’.

So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There’s raw bacon, dripping with moisture .. there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon… every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.

‘Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Eet EES a bacon tree!’

‘Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don’t forget.’

‘Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell like bacon…ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree’.

And with that …Luis races toward the tree. He gets to within 5 meters, with Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden a machine gun opens up and Luis is cut down in his tracks.

It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

‘Pepe…go back man,you was right…ees not a bacon tree.’

‘Luis Luis, mi amigo…what ees it?

‘Pepe…ees not a bacon tree…

Ees……….

Ees…

Ees………

Ees….

… Eees a Ham Bush

uncategorized

More thoughts of the day

Posted on January 13, 2009 By admin

Being British is about driving in an German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it is all organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss and it is all organized by the Italian.

uncategorized

Thought of the day

Posted on January 13, 2009 By admin

Woody Allen said it best:

In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities. You become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then voila! You finish off as an orgasm! I rest my case.

uncategorized

Power to the beaver!

Show me the beaver!
January 2009
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Nov   Feb »

Quote of the day

"Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum of moo. And I am afraid to say that these days all I get is moo."
--(Terry Pratchett, Jingo)

Random Posts

  • Random blurbs
  • Crap morning
  • Massaging the numbers
  • That was one fucking weird movie
  • Not your usual selfieĀ 
reading leopard

Tags

bobble the little blue owl boobies brought to you by the fda cats chonk christmas comics computers are evil covid-19 dealing with idiots dilbert dog ducks galleries geek god bless the land of the free holidays house I am Canadian land of cheese and chocolate linked news lolcat london news from the stupid not my dog nsfw pets pictures potd2014 qotd random shit re-member recipes relationship shrill slice of life stress Tao the british way The Peanut things i miss travel video wine work

Archives

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2025 The beaver is a proud and noble animal.

Powered by PressBook Premium theme