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The beaver is a proud and noble animal

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Notes from a bemused canuck

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Month: August 2010

The one-pound burger experiment

Posted on August 29, 2010 By admin

Katy and I sometimes watch Man V Food as filler TV. The show is about a man who roams the US to face food challenges that local restaurants host as a matter of course (like eating 5 pounds of chicken wings in 30 minutes to win a t-shirt, an 8 pound sirloin steak to get your picture on the wall, or a 6-pound hoagie with 2 pounds of fries). So yeah. One TV critic describes it as the food version of Jackass. Every time we watch the show, we’re half-and-half drooling at the food that’s being prepared and appalled at the waste generated and the idiocy of it all.


   

 

We decided to do our own version of the silliness today. I made us a one-pound burger, with a quarter pound of bacon and three slices of cheese, topped with fried mushrooms and onions, pickles, lettuce, mayo and reggae reggae relish all on a grand rustique loaf. It was really good. It was huge. The scary bit? It’s not even in the Man V Food league in meal size. Still, it’s not something that I’m planning on doing again any time soon. I’m still stuffed from the thing!

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Thing I never thought I’d see myself saying #357

Posted on August 28, 2010 By admin

Please don’t put your toothbrush up your nose.

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In retrospect, I am stupid.

Posted on August 24, 2010 By admin

I was up until 4:30 am this morning reading a new book. I am no longer 18. This was stupid.

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First the was the noodle PhD, now there is the sausage master!

Posted on August 19, 2010 By admin

German sausage lovers can now study for a master’s degree in their favourite dish. Students learn how to appreciate the white sausage at the Sausage Academy in Neumarkt, set up by Norbert Wittman. There are also diploma courses covering which lagers, mustards and types of music go best with different varieties of sausage. So far 1,300 students have gained the diploma.

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Crypto love

Posted on August 13, 2010 By admin
AAXFX QGLXN ITAPA ESKCI VKIUO
MQZEQ WIKSK BJIAZ IXVLL GOBJX
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I hope this isn’t a sign of things to come.

Posted on August 11, 2010 By admin

Seen on Slashdot:

“The FBI has limited resources, so it needs to prioritize what it works on. However, it’s difficult to see why dealing with copyright infringement seems to get more attention than identity theft or missing persons. In the past year, the FBI has announced a special new task force to fight intellectual property infringement, but recent reports have shown that both identity theft and missing persons have been downgraded as priorities by the FBI, to the point that there are a backlog of such cases.”

I’m reminded of the fictional story ‘Greenies’, by Al Steiner. It’s about the process that a Martian colony goes through to free itself from the corruption of its earthbound masters and gain independence. As part of the story, the modern-day equivalent of the FBI is used as a corporate hound-dog to track down “serious” crimes, like piracy and illegal file sharing. It still amazes me that – in real life – large conglomerates will spend millions to try and save a few thousands in losses. The story also talks about the mega-corporations that rule every aspect of life – something that we can see happening now with companies like Cargill (as a side note, do not ever eat a hamburger in the US).

So yeah. Maybe I’m cynical, but I really, really hope the future is more like Star Trek and less like Greenies. Given human nature, I’m expecting the worst.

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Words rejected by the Oxford dictionary

Posted on August 6, 2010 By admin

Accordionated – being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time

Blogish – a variety of English that uses a large number of initialisms, frequently used on blogs

Dunandunate – the overuse of a word or phrase that has recently been added to your own vocabulary

Earworm – a catchy tune that frequently gets stuck in your head

Freegan – someone who rejects consumerism, usually by eating discarded food

Fumb – your large toe

Furgle – to feel in a pocket or bag for a small object such as a coin or key

Griefer – someone who spends their online time harassing others

Headset jockey – a telephone call centre worker

Museum head – feeling mentally exhausted and no longer able to take in information; Usually following a trip to a museum

Nonversation – a worthless conversation, wherein nothing is explained or otherwise Elaborated upon

Optotoxical – a look that could kill, normally from a parent or spouse

Peppier – a waiter whose sole job is to offer diners ground pepper, usually from a large pepper mill

Percuperate – to prepare for the possibility of being ill

Polkadodge – the dance that occurs when two people attempt to pass each other but move in the same direction

Pregreening – to creep forwards while waiting for a red light to change

Smushables – items that must be pack at the top of a bag to avoid being squashed

Stealth-geek – someone who hides their nerdy interests while maintaining a normal outward appearance

Vidiot – someone who is inept at the act of programming video recording equipment

Whinese – a term for the language spoken by children on lengthy trips

Wibble – the trembling of the lower lip just shy of actually crying

Wikism – a piece of information that claims to be true but is wildly inaccurate

Source: The Telegraph

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Mixed emotions about the whole driving thing.

Posted on August 5, 2010 By admin

So far, I’ve had 3 driving lessons. The first one was only on a closed course to try get to grips with the basics of clutch control and low-speed manoeuvring. The other 2 were mostly throw-you-in-the-deep-end on the road. I have been both thrilled and terrified and I’m a bit wrung out.

I’m at a quandary here. It seems like I have a triple-whammy going against me. I’ve never driven before, so I’m a total newb for roadcraft. This would explain why I cut across oncoming traffic while doing a right-hand turn and almost got run over twice on roundabouts (having said that, Joe told me that every new driver does stupid shit like that). My eyesight – being its normal self – makes it difficult for me to read the instrument gauges easily (the speedo mostly is a git – it’s in KPH and has a small inner dial in MPH, but it’s painted brown on black and I can’t make it out unless I lean in, which is not a good thing to do when you’re doing 50 MPH). So that means that I have difficulty maintaining the correct speed for the road I’m on, and that’s dangerous. Both of those combined as well make it difficult for me to anticipate things well enough in advance for me to react appropriately, like judging the correct speed to take a bend or timing gaps to enter the flow of traffic. The final whammy is confidence. I’ve told myself all my life that I can’t drive, and now I’m trying to prove myself wrong. All of that taken together at once is proving… difficult, dangerous, scary.

I had a good long chat with the instructors at CamRider. I can’t commend them enough. They’re being really professional and genuine about the whole process. What it boils down to is that they don’t want to just write me off, they don’t want me to just write me off and they don’t want to just keep taking my money if this is something that won’t be safe in the long run. The head instructor, who I was with on the 3rd lesson, tells me that if he thought I was untrainable or unsafe, he’d stop things then and there. He says that no single problem in itself is a no-go. He’s trained people with worse eyesight than me. He’s trained complete newbies before. We just need to address things a little bit at a time and find a solution that works for me.

The thing is that on a closed circuit or a cul-de-sac, I can handle the bike correctly. My clutch control has already gotten a lot better in those 3 sessions and I can do the Module 1 manoeuvres. The real problem is that when I go out in the real world, all of that control and confidence goes out the window. I get flustered and I start doing stupid – and potentially dangerous – things.

Again though, the instructors tell me that this isn’t anything they haven’t seen before. I’m probably just over-thinking things and making my demons bigger than they are.

There have been fun moments though. The rat race in the Villages and the straight road to Sawston were really cool. On the other hand, having my first real road ride while it’s pissing it down with rain and having both the inside and outside of my helmet visor (as well as my glasses) sopping wet while on a national speed limit road was… not a fun moment. I was a bit wired that night.

So. Where we’re at now is that I have a one-on-one lesson tomorrow morning where it’s just going to be me and an instructor and we’ll assess the situation after that. If they think I can’t, then so be it. I’ll have at least tried. If they think I can, we can work on a plan so that I can think I can.

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Time to shave the pussy again.

Posted on August 5, 2010 By admin

It’s that time of year again. The seed pods are out en masse and Tolstoy refuses to let us brush him. As a result, his coat got so matted and dreadlocked that he was shedding large clumps of fur everywhere and he was actually bristly to pet.

So we shaved him.

Again.

He looks farcical without all that fur. He looks like he’s wearing Ugg boots. And that tail!

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Comments disabled

Posted on August 4, 2010August 5, 2010 By admin

For the few people who actually comment occasionally, I’ve disabled comments because I’m fed up of the volumes of ‘I like your blog, great posts, here’s a good link I found to some free ipads/designer shoes/blablabla’ spam comments I’ve been getting in the past months.

Update: If you want a username/password to comment, please ask me for one and I’ll set it up.

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Power to the beaver!

Show me the beaver!
August 2010
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The Alchemist's Guild is opposite the Gambler's Guild. Usually. Sometimes it's above it, or below it, or falling in bits around it.
--(Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms)

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