So far, I’ve had 3 driving lessons. The first one was only on a closed course to try get to grips with the basics of clutch control and low-speed manoeuvring. The other 2 were mostly throw-you-in-the-deep-end on the road. I have been both thrilled and terrified and I’m a bit wrung out.
I’m at a quandary here. It seems like I have a triple-whammy going against me. I’ve never driven before, so I’m a total newb for roadcraft. This would explain why I cut across oncoming traffic while doing a right-hand turn and almost got run over twice on roundabouts (having said that, Joe told me that every new driver does stupid shit like that). My eyesight – being its normal self – makes it difficult for me to read the instrument gauges easily (the speedo mostly is a git – it’s in KPH and has a small inner dial in MPH, but it’s painted brown on black and I can’t make it out unless I lean in, which is not a good thing to do when you’re doing 50 MPH). So that means that I have difficulty maintaining the correct speed for the road I’m on, and that’s dangerous. Both of those combined as well make it difficult for me to anticipate things well enough in advance for me to react appropriately, like judging the correct speed to take a bend or timing gaps to enter the flow of traffic. The final whammy is confidence. I’ve told myself all my life that I can’t drive, and now I’m trying to prove myself wrong. All of that taken together at once is proving… difficult, dangerous, scary.
I had a good long chat with the instructors at CamRider. I can’t commend them enough. They’re being really professional and genuine about the whole process. What it boils down to is that they don’t want to just write me off, they don’t want me to just write me off and they don’t want to just keep taking my money if this is something that won’t be safe in the long run. The head instructor, who I was with on the 3rd lesson, tells me that if he thought I was untrainable or unsafe, he’d stop things then and there. He says that no single problem in itself is a no-go. He’s trained people with worse eyesight than me. He’s trained complete newbies before. We just need to address things a little bit at a time and find a solution that works for me.
The thing is that on a closed circuit or a cul-de-sac, I can handle the bike correctly. My clutch control has already gotten a lot better in those 3 sessions and I can do the Module 1 manoeuvres. The real problem is that when I go out in the real world, all of that control and confidence goes out the window. I get flustered and I start doing stupid – and potentially dangerous – things.
Again though, the instructors tell me that this isn’t anything they haven’t seen before. I’m probably just over-thinking things and making my demons bigger than they are.
There have been fun moments though. The rat race in the Villages and the straight road to Sawston were really cool. On the other hand, having my first real road ride while it’s pissing it down with rain and having both the inside and outside of my helmet visor (as well as my glasses) sopping wet while on a national speed limit road was… not a fun moment. I was a bit wired that night.
So. Where we’re at now is that I have a one-on-one lesson tomorrow morning where it’s just going to be me and an instructor and we’ll assess the situation after that. If they think I can’t, then so be it. I’ll have at least tried. If they think I can, we can work on a plan so that I can think I can.