Three men—a mathematician, a biologist, and an engineer—are discussing their love lives. The mathematician starts off talking about how much he loves having a wife. She takes care of him. She always there for him. She’s so constant, just everything he could want. But the biologist disagrees. “What you really need is a mistress,” he says. “My wife is boring, but my mistress always makes sure there’s something new and exciting going on.” Those two argue back and forth for a little while until, finally, they ask the engineer to break the tie. Which is better, a wife, or a mistress? “I like having both,” says the engineer. “That way, one of them always assumes I’m off spending time with the other one, and I can go into the office and get some work done.”
Why do Computer Scientists get Halloween and Christmas confused?
Because Dec 25 = Oct 31
Werner Heisenberg is speeding along in his car when he is pulled over by a state patrolman. The trooper walks up to the side of the car, and as Heisenberg rolls down the window, the trooper asks, “Son, do you have any idea how fast you were going?” Heisenberg responds, “No, but I knew exactly where I was!”
Q: Why did the statistician take a bomb with him every time he flew?
A: What are the chances of there being two bombs on an airplane?