Month: July 2012

Oh dear lord….

Posted on By admin

Dear Prudence is Slate.com’s agony aunt. She gets all the weirdos.

My husband had sex with me while I was in a drunken state. Should I divorce him?

Dear Prudence,
My husband is kind, supportive, funny, generous, smart, and loving. However, I feel like I must divorce him. Six years ago, when we were in our early 20s and had just fallen in love, after a night of partying and drinking, he woke me up in the middle of the night and started to have sex with me. I was dozing and still drunk and, yes, I took my panties off myself. But when I realized that it was not OK for him to make advances on me in my state, I pushed him away and ran out. He later felt so bad he wanted to turn himself in for rape. I was very confused and thought at times that I was overreacting and at others that I was raped. We painfully worked through this, but the incident made my husband very reluctant about having sex. This led to an agreement that he shouldn’t be afraid of coming close to me in similar situations as long as he asked my consent. This made us feel better and I felt secure again. However, we just found ourselves in a very similar situation. After coming back from a friend’s wine tasting we went to bed and he started to kiss me. I liked it and went along, only to wake up in the morning and remember only half of it. Now I am in the same painful spot I was before and I can’t fathom how he could have ignored our agreement. Should I just drop it or am I right about feeling abused?

—Confused

Dear Confused,
I understand the need for colleges to have unambiguous codes of sexual conduct for their young, horny, possibly plastered students. These often require getting explicit permission for every escalating advance. However, if two adults are in love and have frequently made love then each can assume implicit consent to throw such legalistic caution—as well as panties—to the wind. Certainly spouses are entitled to say, “Not tonight” or “Not there,” and have such a request respected. But even a married couple who have had sex hundreds of times can enjoy that alcohol might ignite a delightful, spontaneous encounter. Your approach, however, seems to be to treat your sex life as if it is subject to regulatory review by the Department of Health and Human Services. Your prim, punctilious, punitive style has me admiring your put-upon husband’s ability to even get it up, given the possibility he’ll be accused of rape—or turn himself in for it!—if one of you fails a breathalyzer test. Living in terror that expressing one’s perfectly normal sexual desire could end one’s marriage, and freedom, is itself a form of abuse. Stop acting like a parody of a gender-studies course catalog and start acting like a loving wife. If you can’t, then give the poor sap a divorce.

—Prudie

uncategorized

Yet another reason to hate “50 shades of grey”

Posted on By admin

Following the success of erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey, one enterprising publisher has ‘sexed up’ some of the greatest works of English literature for the 21st century. The existing texts have been interspersed with more racy scenes – some in toe-curling language that would surely have made the original authors blush. All of the revamped titles come from classic works whose copyright has expired and are therefore in the public domain. These include Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, 20,000 leagues under the sea and Sherlock Holmes: A Study in Scarlet.

From the publisher:

The old fashioned pleasantries and timidity have all been stripped away, quite literally. You didn’t really think that these much loved characters only held hands and pecked cheeks did you? Come with us, as we embark on a breathtaking experience—behind the closed bedroom doors of our favorite, most-beloved British characters. Learn what Sherlock really thought of Watson, what Mr Darcy really wanted to do to Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and unveil the sexy escapades of Mr Rochester and Jane Eyre. We’ll show you the scenes that you always wanted to see but were never allowed. Come on, you know you can’t resist…

When Dr John Watson takes rooms in Baker Street with amateur detective Sherlock Holmes, he has no idea that he is about to enter a shadowy world of criminality and violence. Nor does he anticipate falling in love with Holmes and having his sexual needs attended to in a way he had only previously dreamed about.

Accompanying Holmes to an ill-omened house in south London, Watson is startled to find a dead man whose face is contorted in a rictus of horror. There is no mark of violence on the body yet a single word is written on the wall in blood. Dr Watson is as baffled as the police, but Holmes’ brilliant analytical skills soon uncover a trail of murder, revenge and lost love…

Along with Holmes, Watson throws himself into finding the killer, but also finds himself. As Watson reveals more of his desires to his lover, Holmes does his utmost to make sure those desires are met. In a heady time where Watson is thrust into a horrifying murder case, the love he feels for Holmes, and the sexual experiences they share, help him to remain level-headed until the killer is caught.

uncategorized

I want a puppy!!!!

Posted on By admin

It was a colleague’s leaving lunch today and, as per the norm, we went to the pub. The landlord has a pair of Jack Russell terriers. One got very friendly with Phil, hoping to score some leftover chili cheese fries (didn’t happen, but that didn’t stop the little guy from trying his best).

He was sickeningly cute though. If it weren’t for the fact that JRTs are giant balls of energy, I’d get one in a flash.

uncategorized

I miss the boys

Posted on By admin

I just finished watching a documentary on the making of Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon, and I have a massive pang of longing for the many, many, many nights I spent with the boys, listening to that album, completely high as a kite, and blissfully happy being carried by the music.

That was 15 years ago now. Things, it seems, were a whole lot simpler. No mortgage, no kid, surrounded by friends and with my whole life ahead of me.

Now don’t get be wrong, I’m not saying my life now isn’t as good, in different ways, but sometimes it feels a hell of a lot more complicated.

uncategorized

what a brilliant idea!

Posted on By admin

She’s been on the local news, CNN, and Fox World News. Now, the Penfield woman who started her own cuddling business is getting more national attention than she ever imagined. Jackie Samuel, a University of Rochester graduate, is currently pursuing a master’s degree in social work, and opened The Snuggery after the spring semester ended.

“What I like to do is cuddle, so I figured it was a good thing to do,” said Samuel, 29. “A lot of people didn’t like the idea so I figured it would be kind of an underground small-scale operation and provide a little extra income.” But since word has started to spread about her unique product, she’s appeared on the TV and radio to answer questions from curious outsiders. Although she’s surprised by all the attention, Samuel hopes that more people will embrace the healing power of human touch.

How long have you been in the cuddling business?

I informally started doing it a few years ago. When I first started grad school, I just
needed something interesting to do. I sold hugs one time on the street (laughs).

Really? How much does a hug cost?

A dollar. My sister and I made $80 in an hour. People would buy hugs for their friends or buy a pack of five hugs. I thought it was hilarious.

What kind of feedback have you gotten about your business since it began?

I’ve been getting emails from people all over the country who are saying they’re inspired and I’m going to start a movement, and everybody’s going to cuddle more now. I haven’t gotten a whole lot of negative emails, probably because people who feel negatively don’t want to reach out to me.

But you have been teased on the air about the sexual undertones that can be associated with cuddling. How do you respond to that?
I maintain the position that I have the right to cuddle, and I’m straightforward that there’s no sex involved.

Do any of your clients seek sex?
I haven’t had anyone, no. Hypothetically, if someone were to get aroused, I would just communicate that that’s not what we’re doing. I’ve had to restate boundaries before, but I think that’s normal of any new thing.

What do you enjoy about the business?
I’m really relaxed when I’m cuddling. I’ve always been really quiet, and I’m one of the quietest people I know when I’m in a group of people, and I feel like when I’m cuddling I have an opportunity to engage and be present. My mode of operation and where I’m most comfortable is when I’m cuddling. People say, “Isn’t it weird to cuddle with a stranger?” and honestly, I feel like it’s more weird to sit down and have a conversation. Once I’m cuddling, I feel peaceful and good.

It’s fair to say that most shy people are scared to even hug a stranger. Do you ever have reservations
like that?
I remember the very first time I cuddled with a stranger. When we first spooned, I felt like I couldn’t breathe in all the way. I couldn’t catch my breath because I was anxious. But very quickly, I just sank into a very peaceful state, and it was enough of a peaceful feeling that it washed the anxiety away and I didn’t ever feel it again.

Do you think there’s something wrong with our society if people don’t want to touch others?
I do. I’ve traveled a ton and I’ve noticed in other countries how much more friendly people are, and how much
more willing they are to engage in touch with other people. Every time I come back to this country I feel like
there’s a void — there’s something missing and there’s a coldness.

Why do you think that is?
There’s such an emphasis on buying comfort, using money to buy fast food or clothing or things that make us
supposedly feel good but don’t have any kind of enduring effect on our happiness. I feel like I’m a product of my culture, in some ways, to know there’s such an emphasis on using money to get that kind of happiness. I just
wanted to offer something that would reliably make people feel good and relaxed.

Do you come from a family that was very ‘touchy-feely’ and if so, how did that prepare you for this
career?
I’ve always been a very quiet person and more engaged when touching. I think early childhood really matters, and
in my early childhood I had a lot of touch, so maybe that made me more comfortable with it.

What are some of the health benefits of cuddling?
It lowers blood pressure. If you’re comfortable with touch, it can reduce your cortisol levels, and most studies show that when they have a reduction of cortisol levels, they’re immune system is stronger. Cuddling can also increase your seratonin and oxytocin levels, which help you to feel calmer and more relaxed.

Many of your clients are men who are middle-aged and older. Do you ever feel unsafe or threatened?
I’ve never felt at risk, no.

Do you hope to grow the business?
I always envisioned to grow it and hire other people to cuddle as well and offering that on a larger scale. I don’t know if Rochester is big enough to supply a steady clientele. Something that’s always excited me, if I did have a steady income, is providing cuddles for people who can’t afford it — homeless people and people who are isolated from society and give them the opportunity to experience touch.

What would you like to say to people who find this strange or disturbing?
If someone’s disturbed, they need to ask why they’re disturbed. It’s not like this is the only thing in our culture and society that we pay for that’s intimate — and I’m not talking about prostitution. I’m talking about therapy and all sorts of alternative healing. I just want people to really think about why they’re critical.

Original Link: www.henriettapost.com/features/x1990297700/Meet-Penfield-snuggler-Jackie-Samuel

uncategorized