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Day: May 20, 2014

[recipe] homemade cereal bars

Posted on May 20, 2014May 20, 2014 By admin

cerealbars

1. Base Ingredient: 2 1/2 Cups, Total, of any of the following:
Quick cooking oats, Puffed wheat, Rice Crispies, Special K

2. Something Sweet: 3/4 Cups of any combination of the following:
Honey, Grade B Maple Syrup, Molasses, Agave or other sweetener.

3. Something Chewy: 1 Cup of any or all of the below:
Dried Cranberries, Raisins, Apricots, Dates, Pineapple, Figs, Cherries, Blueberries etc. (Just keep the size of the fruit relatively small (ie, diced if larger, like dates).

4. Something Crunchy: 1 Cup of any.
Sunflower Seeds, Chocolate Chips, Cocoa nibs, other seeds or nuts (if possible)

5. Something to Hold it All Together: 1 Cup
Try using Applesauce, Peanut Butter, Almond Butter, Pureed Dates, Nutella, Biscoff Spread, etc. (again, avoid peanut butter if sending these to school).

1. Heat Oven to 325F/ 170C/ 150fan.
2. Line an 8×8 Baking pan with parchment paper in cross-wise fashion with lots of extra overhanging.
3. Mix dry ingredients together in a large bowl. (ie. base, chewy, crunchy). Add spice to taste. (ex cinnamon, clove, nutmeg, 1 tsp salt).
4. Mix wet ingredients together. ( ie. sweet, and something to hold it all together, 1 tsp vanilla extract).
5. Combine wet into dry, and mix well.
6. Pour mixture into baking pan, and with the extra parchment paper overhanging, press mixture firmly and evenly in pan. When you think you’ve pressed it firmly enough, do it again and press a little more.
7. Bake for 25 minutes. Remove from oven, and let cool for 2 hours. Remove from pan and cut into desired size (squares or bars).

You can store these in an airtight container for 5-6 days. (if they last that long!)

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Good attitude to have

Posted on May 20, 2014 By admin

image

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Non-Imaginary Excrement

Posted on May 20, 2014 By admin

shitjustgotreal

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Shitty quote of the day

Posted on May 20, 2014 By admin

My 3 moods:
I’m too old for this shit.
I’m too tired for this shit.
I’m too sober for this shit.

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Phishing scams

Posted on May 20, 2014 By admin

221657.strip.print

Don’t ever do it. Ever. Just… no.

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[recipe] Beef Wellington

Posted on May 20, 2014 By admin

recipe-wellington

A good beef fillet (preferably Aberdeen Angus) of around 1kg
3 tbsp olive oil
250g chestnut mushroom, include some wild ones if you like
50g butter
1 large sprig fresh thyme
100ml oz dry white wine
12 slices prosciutto
500g pack puff pastry, thawed if frozen
a little flour, for dusting
2 egg yolks beaten with 1 tsp water
Dijon mustard

1. Heat oven to 200C/fan 180C/gas 7. Pan sear the beef in olive oil to give it some colour. Season with salt and pepper. Transfer to the oven and roast for 15 mins for medium-rare or 20 mins for medium. When the beef is cooked to your liking, remove from the oven to cool, then chill in the fridge for about 20 mins.

2. While the beef is cooling, chop 250g chestnut (and wild, if you like) mushrooms as finely as possible so they have the texture of coarse breadcrumbs. You can use a food processor to do this, but make sure you pulse-chop the mushrooms so they don’t become a slurry.

3. Heat 2 tbsp of the olive oil and 50g butter in a large pan and fry the mushrooms on a medium heat, with 1 large sprig fresh thyme, for about 10 mins stirring often, until you have a softened mixture. Season the mushroom mixture, pour over 100ml dry white wine and cook for about 10 mins until all the wine has been absorbed. The mixture should hold its shape when stirred. Remove the mushroom duxelle from the pan to cool and discard the thyme.

4. Overlap two pieces of cling film over a large chopping board. Lay 12 slices prosciutto on the cling film, slightly overlapping, in a double row. Spread half the duxelles over the prosciutto, then sit the fillet on it. Brush Dijon mustard on the beef filet with a pastry brush and spread the remaining duxelles over. Use the cling film’s edges to draw the prosciutto around the fillet, then roll it into a sausage shape, twisting the ends of cling film to tighten it as you go. Chill the fillet while you roll out the pastry.

5. Dust your work surface with a little flour. Roll out a third of the 500g pack of puff pastry to a 18 x 30cm strip and place on a non-stick baking sheet. Roll out the remainder of the 500g pack of puff pastry to about 28 x 36cm. Unravel the fillet from the cling film and sit it in the centre of the smaller strip of pastry. Beat the 2 egg yolks with 1 tsp water and brush the pastry’s edges, and the top and sides of the wrapped fillet. Using a rolling pin, carefully lift and drape the larger piece of pastry over the fillet, pressing well into the sides. Trim the joins to about a 4cm rim. Seal the rim with the edge of a fork or spoon handle. Glaze all over with more egg yolk and, using the back of a knife, mark the beef Wellington with long diagonal lines taking care not to cut into the pastry. Chill for at least 30 mins and up to 24 hrs.
Heat oven to 200C/fan 180C/gas 6. Brush the Wellington with a little more egg yolk and cook until golden and crisp – 20-25 mins for medium-rare beef, 30 mins for medium. Allow to stand for 10 mins before serving in thick slices.

Alternatives: You can replace the prosciutto with a generous slathering of paté. You can also mix in some Boursin cheese with the mushroom duxelle.

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10 Fabulous German words that have no English equivalent

Posted on May 20, 2014May 20, 2014 By admin

technoviking

1) Weltschmerz (n.): mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state

They say that the grass is greener on the other side, but it’s that kind of mindset that causes the grass on your side of the picket fence to look gray and infested with earwigs. Which is to say, comparing a perfect situation to the real life scenario is bound to land you with severe case of weltschmerz, a word used to describe the disappointment you feel after watching the inevitable destruction of your unrealistic expectations.

2) Kummerspeck (n.): excess weight gained from emotional overeating

One can always count on the Germans to be literal and they do not disappoint with kummerspeck, the exact translation of this phrase being “grief bacon.” As in, “I bombed that test on vegetarianism so badly, I need some bacon to cure my grief.” Other possible food substitutes include candy, ice cream, tubs of cookie dough, bathtubs of cookie dough, and carrots, for all you “healthy” stress eaters that put the rest of us to shame.

3) Torschlusspanik (n.): the fear, usually as one gets older, that time is running out and important opportunities are slipping away

Picture this: you’re 26 years old. You’re living with your parents and struggling to maintain the underpaid assistant job, meanwhile, your best friends are landing CEO positions and securing future husbands. Nothing is happening according to the 5-year plan that you made during your senior year of college, and you can’t help shake the feeling that someone accidentally clicked “fast forward” on your life. That particular type of desperation is known as torschlusspanik, meaning “fear of the gate closing.”

4) Fremdschämen (n.): the almost-horror you feel when you notice that somebody is oblivious to how embarrassing they truly are

The only thing worse than being in an embarrassing situation is watching someone enter an embarrassing situation and being powerless to stop it. Grandparents and sitcom characters are usually the worst offenders of obliviousness and the most likely to evoke fremdschamen, or the cathartic sense of pain you feel witnessing another person make a fool of themselves.

5) Backpfeifengesicht (n.): a face that cries out for a fist in it

Rather than try to explain what backpfeifengesicht means, I’ll instead provide a list of people that might possess a face that’s just asking to be punched:

– Teenagers who complain about “terrible” Christmas gifts they got, like cars.
– People who tattoo their significant other’s name across their face, or anywhere.
– Whoever started the “felfie” trend.
– People who eat hamburgers with a fork and knife.

6) Erklärungsnot (n.): the state of having to quickly explain yourself

Erklarungsnot refers to the exact moment you are caught with your hand in the cookie jar and forced to explain yourself with only a split second to think. Unless you’re a good liar, the results of erklarungsnot are usually unbelievable and silly, like “my dog ate my homework” or “I didn’t know streaking through the grocery store was illegal!”

7) Treppenwitz (n.): the things you should have said but only occur to you when it is too late

Also known as, every comeback you’ve ever had that only came to you 20 minutes after the other person walked away. The Germans have a word for that, treppenwitz, and it perfectly describes my existence.

8) Vergangenheitsbewaeltigung (n.): the struggle to come to terms with the past

Listen… you can’t take back that one time you sneezed all over your crush or got catfished by a 12-year-old boy on the Internet. What makes the past so special is that it cannot be changed. The Germans know this concept so well that they made a whole new word for it, one that I will not type out again because it might take me a year or two.

9) Handschuhschneeballwerfer (n.): a coward willing to criticize and abuse from a safe distance

The literal translation of this word might provide some more perspective: a person who wears gloves to throw snowballs. No? It doesn’t? Well, that’s a shame. As far as I know, this term is meant to describe someone who chooses to talk behind someone’s back instead of to their face.

10) Allgemeinbildung (n.): everything that any adult capable of living independently can reasonably be expected to know

There is technically a phrase for this in English, “common sense,” but allgemeinbildung turns it into one word and gives you another excuse to speak German.

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Quote of the day

"What is this thing, anyway?" said the Dean, inspecting the implement in his hands. "It's called a shovel," said the Senior Wrangler. "I've seen the gardeners use them. You stick the sharp end in the ground. Then it gets a bit technical."
--(Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

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