Across the United Kingdom on Friday, Britons mourned their long-cherished right to claim that Americans were significantly dumber than they are.
But, yesterday, British voters have done irreparable damage to the most enjoyable sport this nation has ever known: namely, treating Americans like idiots.
When our countrymen cast their votes yesterday, they didn’t realize they were destroying the most precious leisure activity this nation has ever known. Wankers.
In the face of this startling display of national idiocy, we can still muster some of the resilience for which the British people are known. We can hold out hope that, come November, Americans could become dumber than us once more.