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Notes from a bemused canuck

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Month: June 2017

Lord Buckethead has spoken 

Posted on June 24, 2017June 26, 2017 By admin

Lord Buckethead made an appearance at Glastonbury Festival on Friday.

Greeted by chants of his name, the former aspiring MP began: “Good evening Glastonbury! Are you having a good time? I am Lord Buckethead, intergalactic space lord.”

He then helpfully clarified: “I am not Lorde the New Zealand songstress,” before going on to reference Labour leader Jeremy’s Corbyn’s widely-publicised slot as a guest speaker at Glastonbury on Saturday.

“I thought to myself: why should the Pyramid stage be the only stage to receive a guest appearance from a political leader? The Park Stage should have one too! So here I am,” he explained, before revealing the “truth” behind his recent political tussle with the current Prime Minister.

“Now, it is only two weeks ago that I faced Theresa May,” Buckethead reminded his audience, pausing to allow for a chorus of boos at May’s name. “In the battle of the Magnet Leisure Centre, Maidenhead.

“The mainstream media would have you believe that she defeated me. Thirty-seven thousand votes to 249.”

In fact, Buckethead said, he had won the election, but had knowingly taken the better deal: instead of facing “agonising” Brexit negotiations in Brussels, he was free to attend Glastonbury.

Speaking to the Guardian after his appearance he gave some thoughts on how Brexit negotiations have been going.

“Could a slightly mouldy pain au chocolat negotiate Brexit better than Theresa May and David Davis? Yes. So yes I could, but whether I should is another matter.”

Asked what advice he would give May and Davis for Brexit, he said: “Be sophisticated, the Europeans are a smart bunch.

“There was a photograph the other day of the negotiating team from Great Britain and the negotiating team from Europe and the team from Europe looked so much smarter, they looked smarter sartorially, intellectually, and they had women, which is something British diplomats seem to have forgotten.”

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Handgus McLeod 

Posted on June 23, 2017June 23, 2017 By admin

The hand is in touch with its inner Scottshand. 

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Happy Brexit Anniversary

Posted on June 23, 2017 By admin

It has been exactly one year since Britain voted to leave the European Union and all that this year has proven is that Brexit has been a deeply costly waste of time.

Since the referendum result we have seen:

– A year of leadership contests within the two main political parties in Britain;
– Court cases trying to prevent Brexit from happening;
– Embarrassing leaks demonstrating Prime Minister Theresa May’s weak ability to negotiate with the EU.
– Volatile markets, the decimation of the pound, and preparations for job relocations;
– A disastrous general election that has put Britain in line for a Brexit deal that looks very similar to what we have now;
– A government in disarray;
– And finally the possibility that Brexit could be reversed …

It is all a bit pointless. I mean even if you look at the EU referendum results from June 23, 2016, it was not even a resounding victory. Leave won by just 51.89% versus Remain at 48.11%.

Britain started Brexit talks this week and it has all been a bit of a farce. After Prime Minister Theresa May saying repeatedly over the last year that she would go in head first into negotiations with a “hard Brexit” plan — relinquishing full Single Market access in lieu of total control over immigration — her and her chief negotiator buckled during the first day of talks.

Firstly, the UK government has been forced to accept the EU’s timetable for talks and in areas that would not have been at the forefront of Britain’s priorities:

– Agreeing to let 3 million EU citizens that have lived in the UK for 5 years or more as “settled” post-Brexit.
– The Brexit divorce bill where Britain will have to agree to pay up to €99.6 billion (£87 billion) to the EU.

Britain and the EU will have to sort these issues out first — something the EU had continually said it wanted to do before trade negotiations begin. It is unlikely that Britain will come out strong from the talks, after all, it could not even get the timetable to its liking.

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The cynicism of God

Posted on June 22, 2017June 22, 2017 By admin

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Still life, with sparrows

Posted on June 22, 2017 By admin

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Work BBQ

Posted on June 22, 2017 By admin

Two pictures from our group BBQ at the bosslady’s house. Good food (!), good wine, good laughs, and cows with bells. Rousing success!

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Kitty!!

Posted on June 19, 2017 By admin

Tigers can carry double their bodyweight, at about 540kg. The largest tigers can measure up to 3.5m from nose to tail and weigh close to 300kg and, despite their size, run at up to 40mph. A swipe of a tiger’s paw is powerful enough to smash a cow’s skull.

And yet, I want to kiss them and love them and squeeze them and hug them and call them George.

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The doctor is out

Posted on June 19, 2017 By admin

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Musashi, The Undefeated Samurai

Posted on June 19, 2017June 28, 2017 By admin

Miyamoto Musashi was three hours late. This was his way. On the beach the tension in the air was palpable. Sasaki Kojiro paced up and down on the fine sand with his hands behind his back. His wrath was rising with the sun, and with every passing minute he felt the insult to his honour growing. The date was the 13th of April, 1612.

Kojiro was considered one of the greatest Samurai in Japan. He was famous throughout the land for his speed and precision, which was made even more remarkable by his preferred weapon. He wielded a huge nodachi blade, a curved Japanese sword in the classic style, but with a blade over a meter in length. The size and weight of the nodachi made it a brutal, unsubtle weapon, but Kojiro had perfected its use to a degree unheard of in all Japan. His fame had grown with his skill, and eventually, he came to the attention of Miyamoto Musashi.

Musashi was a Ronin, a masterless Samurai. He had killed his first opponent in single combat at the age of thirteen and had gone on to win duel after duel as he travelled Japan and honed his skills. In Japan at the time, it was not unusual to challenge others to duel, even to the death, for no other reason that to display one’s mastery. Musashi was no exception. His talent was so great that, by the age of thirty, he had sheathed his two katana, and made a point of duelling only with bokken – wooden practice swords – no matter what weapon his enemy chose to use.

Kojiro’s retinue consisted of body servants, friends, students, cooks, and a clutch of officials who had come to witness the event and report back to the daimyo. They had arrived by boat in the early morning, and the servants had raised a shade for the officials further up the beach. A small fire had been started, food and tea prepared, and all made ready for the great Samurai to meet his opponent. The duel had been arranged through an intermediary at Miyamoto’s request, and the date and time set by him.

Kojiro had arrived three hours early, and as dawn slowly broke and his servants busied themselves with setting up camp, he had sat in profound meditation some way away, mentally preparing himself for combat. He rose some time before his opponent was due to arrive and took a little tea, making polite conversation with the officials, and joking with his friends. His composure was sublime, and his retinue, students and hangers-on had no doubt that he would make short work of his challenger.

Three hours later, however, the morning was wearing on into the afternoon, and Kojiro was no longer composed. He paced, he grumbled, he swore and snapped at his servants, and it was clear to those who watched him that his rage at his challenger’s insulting behaviour was building to a dangerous degree. In an attempt to placate him, one of the officials had suggested that Musashi would not arrive, and had fled the duel in terror at the prospect of facing the great Kojiro, but Kojiro did not accept this. He knew Musashi’s reputation as a swordsman. This behaviour could only be intended to insult.

In fact, Miyamoto was not far away. He sat cross-legged in a little fishing boat that bobbed gently on the tide in a small inlet to the south of the beach where the enraged Kojiro paced. The bottom of the boat was piled with curled wood shavings, as the sword master unhurriedly worked at a long piece of wood with his knife. Also occupying the boat was its owner, an elderly, wrinkled, sun-browned fisherman, who had been paid handsomely to put himself, his boat and his spare oar at Musashi’s service for the day.

This spare oar was now sitting on Musashi’s lap, and with his sharp knife, the Samurai had carefully spent the morning bringing a new shape out of it. It was long and had become gracefully curved and perfectly balanced: a bokken of the finest workmanship. Musashi watched the sun as he worked. He was a strange-looking person. He wore no finery, just a simple robe and sword belt. His feet were bare, and his eyes had a protruding, staring quality that was unnerving. His hair was tied into a simple, functional bun at the top of his head. There were several days growth of beard on his pale and bony face, and his skin was covered with many small, livid scars.

It was clear on close inspection that he had not washed for some time, and his plain robe bore many stains and discoloured patches. Altogether he cut a most disreputable figure, very different from the ostentatious displays of wealth and arms favoured by many Samurai of the time. The only part of his attire that seemed well cared for was the paired katana at his belt. The polished dark wood of their sheaths gleamed in the morning sun. With a quiet word, Musashi asked the fisherman to take them round to the beach where Kojiro waited. The fisherman obeyed, and together they rowed out to sea a little, before turning back to approach the beach.

At first, Kojiro did not recognise his opponent. Musashi sat low and forward in the little boat, his weapons hidden, seeming deep in thought.

“It’s him!” cried one of the servants, who had run down to the water line. “Musashi comes to the duel!”

The blood drained from Kojiro’s face as Musashi slowly stood up in the boat. The insolence, it was unheard of. This was no way for a Samurai to behave! To arrive so late was bad enough, but to arrive like this… Unshaven, filthy, in dishevelled clothing and with no retinue but a beggarly old fisherman; Kojiro felt the insult to his honour most keenly, and the wrath that had been slowly building all morning boiled over. He trembled with rage and held out one hand to the sword bearer who rushed up to present him with his great nodachi.

The huge sword flashed in the sun as Kojiro charged down the beach toward his opponent. He focussed his anger to a fine point, which ran through his arms and hands and settled at the cruel tip of the blade. In his mind, where a moment ago there had been great anger, now there was silence. But what was this? Musashi leapt into the surf and dashed to the left, but he drew no blade; his only weapon was a wooden bokken, similar in size and reach to Kojiro’s sword. Kojiro faltered for a split second.

What could this mean? The arrogance of the man who would challenge the great Kojiro with a wooden practice sword was incomprehensible. He turned to follow Musashi and dived in with a great sweep of his blade. The insolent man ducked just in time to avoid the blow. The nodachi swept only centimetres above his head. A little cloud of black hair floated in the still air.

Then Musashi was in underneath his guard. The bokken was rising, but the huge nodachi was in the hands of a master, and Kojiro did not back away. He brought his sword whistling down upon his opponent… but Musashi was gone. He had stepped step to the right, and his bokken hit flesh. Kojiro’s breath went out of him, and his next blow went wild. The wooden sword dealt him a stunning blow on the side of the head and in the moment that he staggered, his enemy’s weapon smashed into his left side with incredible force. He felt his ribs crack, followed by a terrible, sharp pain deep inside his chest. He couldn’t breathe, and the world swam before his eyes.

The officials, staff and servants watched in horror as Sasaki Kojiro toppled forward onto the sand. The engagement had been over in seconds, and the victorious Samurai was now bowing low to his downed opponent, then toward them. He watched them for a moment, poised, then began to retreat swiftly toward the boat. There was a ring of steel and a yell as a number of Kojiro’s friends, and students drew their swords and ran down the beach toward Musashi, but he was in the surf, he was in the boat, he was gone. His purpose on Ganryu island was fulfilled, but tears fell from his strange eyes as the old fisherman rowed them away.

Miyamoto Mushashi was victorious, but he had destroyed one of the greatest warriors in the land, and the pointlessness of the act hit him as hard as his own death-blow had hit Kojiro. There was nothing gained by his victory, and everything lost. Like Mushashi’s bokken, Kojiro’s skill had been slowly carved out of the raw material of his life. Now he was gone, but his death had served no purpose.

Musashi continued to study and teach the art of swordsmanship throughout his life, but he never again killed an opponent in a duel.

Original link

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The world of meat

Posted on June 18, 2017 By admin

​A unique workshop where you will learn all about meat, the issues it raises and the latest technology. Watch as our activity leader joints a piece of meat, explaining each stage of the process. You then use some of the cuts to create a dish to sample together at the end of the workshop.

Katy bought me a place in an Alimentarium workshop. It turned into a 3h private chef lesson, seeing as I was the only person registered. We made chicken appetisers, ballotines, two different types of sausage, and generally had a really good chat about food in general. We ate what we cooked, but there was so much of it that the family enjoyed the leftovers.

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"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?"
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