Day: August 22, 2017

“I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.” Ken Cheng
“Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book.” Frankie Boyle
“I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point?” Alexei Sayle
“I’m looking for the girl-next-door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her.” Lew Fitz
“I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated.” Andy Field
“I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it …” Jimeoin
“I have two boys, five and six. We’re no good at naming things in our house.” Ed Byrne
“Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences’, I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!’” Alasdair Beckett-King
“As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting, but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.” Adele Cliff
“Insomnia is awful. But on the plus side – only three more sleeps till Christmas.” Robert Garnham
“Centaurs shop at Topman. And Bottomhorse.” Dan Antopolski
“Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression. What a sad state of affairs.” Paul Savage
“How did the Village People meet? They obviously led such different lives.” John-Luke Roberts
“If you’re being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead.” Olaf Falafel