

Roko wanted all of us in the group to send him pictures of our home office setup. It’s going to be shown in the sprint review tomorrow. This is my contribution. At least I shaved yesterday :)
The beaver is a proud and noble animal
Notes from a bemused canuck
Some people see the current covid-19 lockdowns as a way to build memories and spend quality time as a family. We see this, filled with dread, as a situation that can lead to murder or alcoholism.
As much as I love my son, he is being a giant shithead. Everything needs to be a confrontation. Everything needs to be yelled instead of spoken. We are, apparently, the most unfair idiots that walk the earth and exist only to pay for shit, frustrate him at every turn and make him angry. He, in our opinion, exists only to make stupid random noises, do whatever the hell he wants when he wants to, do nothing of what we actually ask of him and can’t grasp the simplest of concepts like don’t chew with your mouth open, close the light when you leave the room and leave the fucking cats alone.
So yeah.
We’ll either need lawyers or doctors, or both (definitively therapy) by the time this has cleared up.
Ok, so it’s not an actual confinement, we’re still allowed to go out as long as reasonable precautions are taken – it would just seem that different people have different interpretations of what is reasonable in these… interesting times.
I’ve also managed to fix the slight oopsie I did to the media streamer PC. On the plus side, my storage space has tripled. I’ll need to order a 2nd 6TB HDD so that I can make a redundant copy, but at least we have one working version now.
Finally, it seems that all the parents are in agreement – it sucks to have kids out of school stuck at home.

320g all purpose flour
50g plus 1 tbs granulated sugar, divided
1 packet rapid rise yeast
180ml wheat beer
1/2 tsp vanilla
3 large egg yolk (room temperature)
60ml cup heavy cream (at least 35% fat content, room temperature)
1 tsp salt
45g softened butter
100g chocolate, chopped
Powdered sugar, optional
In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a dough hook add the flour, 50g granulated sugar and yeast.
Add the beer to a microwave safe bowl, microwave on high for 20 seconds, test temperate and repeat until beer reaches between 50C-55C – see note. Add the beer to the stand mixer, mix until most of the flour has been moistened.
Add the vanilla then the yolks, one at a time. Add the cream and salt.
Building up speed, beat on high until the dough comes together and gathers around the blade. The dough will be very soft.
Add dough to a lightly oiled bowl, cover and allow to sit at room temperature for 1 hour or until doubled in size.
Add dough to a lightly floured surface, roll into an 18 x 24 inch rectangle.
In a small bowl stir together the softened butter and the remaining 1 tablespoons sugar. Spread the butter/sugar mix evenly on the dough.
Cut the dough into strips about 3 inches wide. Cut each of the strips into 4 to 5 rectangles, each should be about the size of a deck of cards. You should have between 12 and 15 pieces. Sprinkle the pieces with the chopped chocolate, then stack up each one on top of another in a tower. Lay the stack into a loaf pan, like placing books on a shelf.
If making the loaf the night before, cover and allow to rise in the fridge for 12 hours. Reheat the oven to 350F/175C, allow the loaf to come to room temperate while the oven is pre-heating. Bake at 350 for 18-22 minutes or until golden brown.
If making the day of, preheat oven to 350F/175C, allow to sit at room temperate until doubled in size, about 20 minutes .Bake at 350 for 18-22 minutes or until golden brown.
Remove from loaf pan, sprinkle with powdered sugar prior to serving.
A note about yest and temperature:
55C–60C – Yeast cells die (thermal death point).
50C–55C – Water temperature for activating yeast designed to be mixed with the dry ingredients in a recipe.
40C–45C – Temperature of water for dry yeast reconstituted with water and sugar.
38C or lower – When yeast is mixed with water at too low a temperature, an amino acid called glutathione leaks from the cell walls, making doughs sticky and hard to handle.
27C–32C – Optimum temperature range for yeast to grow and reproduce at dough fermentation stage.

For the pastry:
500g strong white bread flour, plus extra to dust
120g lard or white shortening
125g butter
1 tsp salt
175 ml cold water
For the filling:
400g good quality beef skirt, cut into cubes
300g potato, peeled and diced
150g swede, peeled and diced
150g onion, peeled and sliced
Clotted cream or butter
Also:
1 egg, beaten with a little milk
Add the salt to the flour in a large mixing bowl.
Rub the two types of fat lightly into flour until it resembles breadcrumbs.
Add water, bring the mixture together and knead until the pastry becomes elastic. This will take longer than normal pastry but it gives the pastry the strength that is needed to hold the filling and retain a good shape. This can also be done in a food mixer.
Cover with cling film and leave to rest for 3 hours in the fridge. This is a very important stage as it is almost impossible to roll and shape the pastry when fresh.
Roll out the pastry and cut into circles approx. 20cm diameter. A side plate is an ideal size to use as a guide.
Layer the vegetables and meat on top of the pastry, adding plenty of seasoning.
Bring the pastry around and crimp the edges together.
Glaze with egg and milk mixture.
Bake at 165 degrees C (fan oven) for about 50 – 55 minutes until golden.
Right. Well. Things are going well.
An analyst from Imperial College finally managed to convince both the Blonde Chimp in the UK and the Oompah-Loompa in the US that waiting for herd immunity is a bad option and “it’s not just like the flu”.
Now if only they could get a clear message about containment measures, and staying the fuck out of large groups, preferably at home.
Speaking of Drumpf, his whole self-identity as a president has been that the stock market has never been stronger. That means that all his rich friends are happy with him and money is going into the right pockets. Well, about that….