The beaver is a proud and noble animal
Notes from a bemused canuck
German sausage lovers can now study for a master’s degree in their favourite dish. Students learn how to appreciate the white sausage at the Sausage Academy in Neumarkt, set up by Norbert Wittman. There are also diploma courses covering which lagers, mustards and types of music go best with different varieties of sausage. So far 1,300 students have gained the diploma.
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Seen on Slashdot:
“The FBI has limited resources, so it needs to prioritize what it works on. However, it’s difficult to see why dealing with copyright infringement seems to get more attention than identity theft or missing persons. In the past year, the FBI has announced a special new task force to fight intellectual property infringement, but recent reports have shown that both identity theft and missing persons have been downgraded as priorities by the FBI, to the point that there are a backlog of such cases.”
I’m reminded of the fictional story ‘Greenies’, by Al Steiner. It’s about the process that a Martian colony goes through to free itself from the corruption of its earthbound masters and gain independence. As part of the story, the modern-day equivalent of the FBI is used as a corporate hound-dog to track down “serious” crimes, like piracy and illegal file sharing. It still amazes me that – in real life – large conglomerates will spend millions to try and save a few thousands in losses. The story also talks about the mega-corporations that rule every aspect of life – something that we can see happening now with companies like Cargill (as a side note, do not ever eat a hamburger in the US).
So yeah. Maybe I’m cynical, but I really, really hope the future is more like Star Trek and less like Greenies. Given human nature, I’m expecting the worst.
Accordionated – being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time
Blogish – a variety of English that uses a large number of initialisms, frequently used on blogs
Dunandunate – the overuse of a word or phrase that has recently been added to your own vocabulary
Earworm – a catchy tune that frequently gets stuck in your head
Freegan – someone who rejects consumerism, usually by eating discarded food
Fumb – your large toe
Furgle – to feel in a pocket or bag for a small object such as a coin or key
Griefer – someone who spends their online time harassing others
Headset jockey – a telephone call centre worker
Museum head – feeling mentally exhausted and no longer able to take in information; Usually following a trip to a museum
Nonversation – a worthless conversation, wherein nothing is explained or otherwise Elaborated upon
Optotoxical – a look that could kill, normally from a parent or spouse
Peppier – a waiter whose sole job is to offer diners ground pepper, usually from a large pepper mill
Percuperate – to prepare for the possibility of being ill
Polkadodge – the dance that occurs when two people attempt to pass each other but move in the same direction
Pregreening – to creep forwards while waiting for a red light to change
Smushables – items that must be pack at the top of a bag to avoid being squashed
Stealth-geek – someone who hides their nerdy interests while maintaining a normal outward appearance
Vidiot – someone who is inept at the act of programming video recording equipment
Whinese – a term for the language spoken by children on lengthy trips
Wibble – the trembling of the lower lip just shy of actually crying
Wikism – a piece of information that claims to be true but is wildly inaccurate
Source: The Telegraph
So far, I’ve had 3 driving lessons. The first one was only on a closed course to try get to grips with the basics of clutch control and low-speed manoeuvring. The other 2 were mostly throw-you-in-the-deep-end on the road. I have been both thrilled and terrified and I’m a bit wrung out.
I’m at a quandary here. It seems like I have a triple-whammy going against me. I’ve never driven before, so I’m a total newb for roadcraft. This would explain why I cut across oncoming traffic while doing a right-hand turn and almost got run over twice on roundabouts (having said that, Joe told me that every new driver does stupid shit like that). My eyesight – being its normal self – makes it difficult for me to read the instrument gauges easily (the speedo mostly is a git – it’s in KPH and has a small inner dial in MPH, but it’s painted brown on black and I can’t make it out unless I lean in, which is not a good thing to do when you’re doing 50 MPH). So that means that I have difficulty maintaining the correct speed for the road I’m on, and that’s dangerous. Both of those combined as well make it difficult for me to anticipate things well enough in advance for me to react appropriately, like judging the correct speed to take a bend or timing gaps to enter the flow of traffic. The final whammy is confidence. I’ve told myself all my life that I can’t drive, and now I’m trying to prove myself wrong. All of that taken together at once is proving… difficult, dangerous, scary.
I had a good long chat with the instructors at CamRider. I can’t commend them enough. They’re being really professional and genuine about the whole process. What it boils down to is that they don’t want to just write me off, they don’t want me to just write me off and they don’t want to just keep taking my money if this is something that won’t be safe in the long run. The head instructor, who I was with on the 3rd lesson, tells me that if he thought I was untrainable or unsafe, he’d stop things then and there. He says that no single problem in itself is a no-go. He’s trained people with worse eyesight than me. He’s trained complete newbies before. We just need to address things a little bit at a time and find a solution that works for me.
The thing is that on a closed circuit or a cul-de-sac, I can handle the bike correctly. My clutch control has already gotten a lot better in those 3 sessions and I can do the Module 1 manoeuvres. The real problem is that when I go out in the real world, all of that control and confidence goes out the window. I get flustered and I start doing stupid – and potentially dangerous – things.
Again though, the instructors tell me that this isn’t anything they haven’t seen before. I’m probably just over-thinking things and making my demons bigger than they are.
There have been fun moments though. The rat race in the Villages and the straight road to Sawston were really cool. On the other hand, having my first real road ride while it’s pissing it down with rain and having both the inside and outside of my helmet visor (as well as my glasses) sopping wet while on a national speed limit road was… not a fun moment. I was a bit wired that night.
So. Where we’re at now is that I have a one-on-one lesson tomorrow morning where it’s just going to be me and an instructor and we’ll assess the situation after that. If they think I can’t, then so be it. I’ll have at least tried. If they think I can, we can work on a plan so that I can think I can.
It’s that time of year again. The seed pods are out en masse and Tolstoy refuses to let us brush him. As a result, his coat got so matted and dreadlocked that he was shedding large clumps of fur everywhere and he was actually bristly to pet.
So we shaved him.
Again.
He looks farcical without all that fur. He looks like he’s wearing Ugg boots. And that tail!
For the few people who actually comment occasionally, I’ve disabled comments because I’m fed up of the volumes of ‘I like your blog, great posts, here’s a good link I found to some free ipads/designer shoes/blablabla’ spam comments I’ve been getting in the past months.
Update: If you want a username/password to comment, please ask me for one and I’ll set it up.
My grandfather passed away in his sleep this morning. He was a shade past his 103rd birthday. I’m saddened by his passage, but at the same time I am relieved. He was tired, at the end, and just wanted to go see his wife again. He had time to say his goodbyes and went peacefully. I can live with that. He doesn’t need to be scared and lonely anymore. He can be with Cecile now.
Been a long but fruitful day. We went to Costco to stock up on dry goods, continents and cleaning supplies to the tune of a few hundred quid. The upside is that we have a 3 month supply of most everything we use on a daily basis. We stopped into IKEA as well to pick up a few odds and ends for the kitchen. We also bought a baby Poang for the bean, as they were back in stock. For reasons unknown, we also left with a giant stuffed shark. We came back, put doofus to bed for a nap and chilled a bit. We did a quick stop at Tesco to refill our fridge – it was very empty… We put doofus to bed and started on dinner. I’m a bit miffed that I overcooked the steaks on the bbq :( In the end, a good day. Costly but productive. I have to give mad props to the bean. He was a very, very, very good boy. He ate well while we were at IKEA and didn’t kick up a fuss at any time. The pink shower puff might have helped to keep him entertained, but you go with what works :)
I have to admit that I stole that headline from Fark. It does cover everything from the article though.
The cross-dressing man was caught with the animal in the dry moat of King Henry VIII’s Pendennis Castle overlooking Falmouth Bay in Cornwall. The 33-year-old mounted the pet after it chased him out of sight of its woman owner. The owner had been walking around the ancient castle with a friend when the pair spotted the lone transvestite on the morning of Saturday July 10th at around a quarter to twelve. He was wearing a black dress and walking around the steep-walled, empty moat.
As the two ladies spotted the cross dresser he ran away. Later one of the dogs chased after the man; by the time the women had caught up, the man was having sex with the pet. Castle staff then restrained the man while police were called. Pendennis Castle, managed by English Heritage, is a popular family tourist attraction and was heaving with visitors in high season.
He was escorted home and later made a “full and frank confession”, and received a caution for outraging public decency. A police spokesman said: “Other agencies were liaised with and he was handed over to them”. A spokesman for English Heritage said: “This was a very rare incident”.
I love that last line. It’s a classic Britishism :)
Original Source: The Telegraph.