Skip to content
The beaver is a proud and noble animal

The beaver is a proud and noble animal

Notes from a bemused canuck

  • Home
  • About
  • Bookmarks
  • Pictures
  • Resume
  • Wine
  • Random Recipe
  • Toggle search form

21 years ago, on this day, I was probably not sober

Posted on January 13, 2019January 14, 2019 By admin

As the ice storm hit, I was still working at the lab. The sidewalks were so covered in ice, I fell on my back and slid pretty much the whole length of Drummond, ending up in the middle of Dr Penfield drive (with oncoming traffic goodness). When the lights went off a couple of days later, downtown was a mess. Sheet ice was sliding off buildings and crashing down on the sidewalks. I remember how quiet is was, apart from the random shots of cracking ice. That, and the army trucks coming in.

A bunch of us… I forget exactly who now… ended up at Khaled and Paul’s apartment – they still had electricity because of their proximity to Ste Justine hospital. I remember we were 9 people in a 4 bedroom flat. I ended up sharing a sofa bed with Joanne, the new tenant who was moving in on that day, but had no furniture. It was surreal. God bless her, she completely took it on her stride. It turned into a continuous party. I didn’t sober up for a week. People would wake you up for a wake-and-bake. When the power came back on, we stayed there for another couple of days, for the fun of it. When I went back home, the worst thing was cleaning out my fridge, where everything had defrosted and spoiled. The smell… The horror… The horror.

uncategorized

Self love, with cookies

Posted on January 12, 2019January 14, 2019 By admin

uncategorized

Packing for camp

Posted on January 11, 2019 By admin

Every year or so, Bean goes to a summer or winter camp with school. This is him packing for camp. He has the essentials. Snowsuit, underwear, pj’s, socks, cat…

uncategorized

DNA relatives

Posted on January 11, 2019 By admin

Apparently, I have over 1000 DNA relatives on 23andMe, ranging from 1st cousins with whom I share more than 10% DNA to distant relatives with whom I share a great-great-great-great-great grandparent.

uncategorized

Rowley Birkin, QC

Posted on January 10, 2019August 27, 2020 By admin

When I was working at the EBI, a former colleague introduced me to The Fast Show, a BBC comedy sketch show program that ran in the 90s. It was one of the most popular sketch shows of its time in the UK. The show’s central performers were Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson, Simon Day, Mark Williams, John Thomson, Arabella Weir and Caroline Aherne. One of its recurring characters was Rowley Birkin QC, played by Paul Whitehouse.

Sozzled, rambling old barrister, Rowley Birkin QC, sits in his chair and spins yarns of foreign adventures, mysterious women and exotic beasts, attended only by his equally ancient butler. During his nonsensical mutterings you can make out the occasional phrase – ‘took it off below the knee’… ‘a rather striking mustache’… ‘SNAKE, SNAKE!’… ‘Her husband had been entombed in ice. Like this.’… and of course, ‘I’m afraid that I was very, very drunk’.

https://www.flubu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/RowleyBirkin-Terrible_flatulence.mp4

“Johnny! Johnny Ludlow!” Hahaha… [rambles] …terrible flatulence… [rambles] …you see?… [rambles] …the whole thing was made completely out of rubber… [rambles; make bubbling noises] …in fact, we communicated the whole time with sign language… [rambles] …a rather striking moustache… [rambles] …wow! you see?… [rambles] …you know, you can actually drive one of those cars, on three wheels!… [rambles] …I’m afraid I was very drunk.

https://www.flubu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/RowleyBirkin-Cairo.mp4

Cairo!… [emits a high pitch squeak; rambles] …very unstable, politically, pandimonium!… [rambles; then mimes pushing through tall grass and gestures above him] …a poisonous monkey… [rambles] …very small chaps, but immensely strong… [rambles] …hah! like that. It was a completely wasted journey… [rambles] …Snake! Snake! Aah! Brrr! Gin!… [rambles; mimes holding something] …lift the thing up, I didn’t know what to do… [rambles] …I made a dreadful hash of his arm, I really did… [rambles] …I freely admit, that I was very, very drunk.

https://www.flubu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/RowleyBirkin-NaziGeneral.mp4

Vast ice floes… [rambles] …there he was, staring at me, six foot eight if he was an inch… [rambles] …the whole thing was made out of matchsticks… [rambles] …I laugh now… [rambles] …image of a four star Nazi General, licking a lollipop… [rambles] …I was feeling a little liverish… [rambles] …he punched me right on the nose… [rambles] …I didn’t feel a thing, I’m afraid, I was very drunk.

https://www.flubu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/RowleyBirkin-QuiteBeautiful.mp4

It happens to every young man, I’m sure… [quietly rambles] …she was a really beautiful woman and I … [rambles] …she had a very long neck… …very intelligent… …really piercing eyes… …of course, the war came along… that was it really between us… …really beautiful song: la la la, I can’t remember anymore… …I was in absolute floods of tears… …it was very, very cold, and… …and I held her in my arms… [stares silently at the camera] …I’m afraid I was very drunk.

https://www.flubu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/RowleyBirkin-Mama.mp4

Bang!.. right up the arse… [coughy rambling] …now did I ever tell you what happened to me in nineteen hundred and [rambles] she was saddest woman… the tallest woman I’ve ever met… her husband had been entombed in ice, like this [mimes being stuck in ice, rambles] …we’d been cut off by a terrific snow storm… …extremely cold, and we were plunged in total darkness… [rambles] … we head what sounded like a child’s voice like this… mamma mamma mamma mamma mamma mamma… [rambles]… closer and closer it came… [rambles] … she arched her back and scuttled across the room like a giant spider… [rambles] … she opened her mouth to spit… [rambles, butler arrives with a drink]… bugger off… [rambles]… it may have been a ghost… [rambles]… I’m afraid I was very, very drunk at the time

https://www.flubu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/RowleyBirkin-ShootHim.mp4

At the time, I was still a… [rambles] …like a giant marshmallow… [rambles] …fingerless gloves, very sensual… [rambles] …just off St Alexander’s Square, you know, behind the chocolate shop… [rambles] …the head became completely detached… [rambles; makes bubbling noises] …we always felt like we were being watched, like that… [rambles] …I went completely cross-eyed… [crosses his eyes] …I can’t do it now… [rambles] …I mean, you must have been there, oh you must go, it’s quite, quite, quite, quite beautiful… [rambles] …lorry load of interesting cheeses… [rambles] …there is no art to find the minds construction of the face, mmm… [rambles] …and then they made their burrows in rotten wood… [rambles] …a face like a mad baboon and an arse to match… [rambles; moves his arms as if running] …shoot him, you fool!… …I didn’t hear any of it of course, I’m afraid, I was very, very drunk.

https://www.flubu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/RowleyBirkin-ConsiderateLover.mp4

[rambles]… in Shanghai! Shanghai!… [rambles] …stamp out piracy… …I was quite flummoxed by an outrageous cat… [rambles] …it was a Chinese warlord by the name of … [rambles] …I’m a very considerate lover… [rambles] …the most interesting about them is that there’s a permanent tap to the gall bladder of these bears… [rambles] …it was swollen to twice its usual size… hahahahaha… the surgeon with sandy hair, obviously homosexual… [rambles] …but I liked him… [rambles] …took it off below the knee… [rambles] the schock like uuuuhhhh… …jabbering on and on, ha!, made no difference to me, I’m afraid I was very drunk.

https://www.flubu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/RowleyBirkin-PiercedLabia.mp4

[rambles]… lazy things in your brain… [rambles] …the women there are absolutely sex-mad… [rambles] …I managed to drain the wound into a tin cup… [rambles, mimes using a blow dart] …right there, right in the neck… [rambles] …pierced labia… [rambles] …by Jingo, I mean as I’d married three of them, haha… [rambles] …then they made me their chief… [rambles] …the witch doctor never liked me… he was forever burying his… [rambles] …I realized I made a terrible faux-pas in their culture, ohhh… [rambles] …I bluffed my way out… they chased me over several weeks… [rambles] …was very surprised they didn’t catch me because I was absolutely smashed on poisonous frogs.

https://www.flubu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/RowleyBirkin-Dreaming.mp4

[snoring] six breasts! … [rambles, snoring] … completely covered in hair… don’t point that thing at me, she said, and then she came… [rambles] …blew my head off… [rambles, snoring] …penicillin… [snoring]

https://www.flubu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/RowleyBirkin-ChristmasCarol.mp4

[rambles, playing the piano]… absolutely incredible suction… [rambles, playing the piano] …yes, haha… [rambles, playing the piano] …have yourselves a merry little Christmas, let your… [rambles, playing the piano] …next year all our troubles will be out of sight… [rambles, playing the piano] …I think that she must have misheard me because she brought me a bucket full of ankles… [rambles, playing the piano] …Chestnuts roasting on a open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your… [rambles, playing the piano] …it takes me back to my time in Anchorage with Stevie Wonder… [rambles, playing the piano] …so I’m offering this simple phrase to kids from one to ninety-two. Although it’s been said, many times, many ways… [rambles, playing the piano] …ahahahahaha… [rambles, playing the piano] …Although it’s been said, many times, many ways, once you actually break through the crust, all that was left was this foul jelly… [rambles, playing the piano] …Although it’s been said, many times, many ways, I’m afraid I was very, very drunk.

2020 Covid Update!!!

uncategorized

I’m hoping this is the year

Posted on January 8, 2019 By admin

uncategorized

Feeding time at the zoo

Posted on January 2, 2019January 7, 2019 By admin

We tried to feed Bean to several wild animals today but they already had their own provisions. 

uncategorized

Random parent picture

Posted on January 1, 2019January 17, 2019 By admin

Again, in the random picture department.

uncategorized

Random cat pictures

Posted on January 1, 2019January 1, 2019 By admin

So, cleaning up random folders on desktop. Find this.

uncategorized

New year’s day lunch

Posted on January 1, 2019 By admin

Roast lamb with fennel & rosemary, homemade stuffing, veg and bacon tossed brussel sprouts, roasted spuds & yorkie puds. 

uncategorized

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 104 105 106 … 703 Next

Power to the beaver!

Show me the beaver!
August 2026
M T W T F S S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Jul    

Quote of the day

I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.
--(Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Random Posts

  • Yet another weekend update
  • Today will not be a good day
  • Sushi night
  • The new facts of life for the snowflake generation
  • [recipe] Slow cooker Irish stew
reading leopard

Tags

bobble the little blue owl boobies brought to you by the fda cats chonk christmas comics computers are evil covid-19 dealing with idiots dilbert dog ducks galleries geek god bless the land of the free holidays house I am Canadian land of cheese and chocolate linked news lolcat london news from the stupid not my dog nsfw pets pictures potd2014 qotd random shit re-member recipes relationship shrill slice of life stress Tao the british way The Peanut things i miss travel video wine work

Archives

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2026 The beaver is a proud and noble animal.

Powered by PressBook Premium theme

Loading Comments...