The beaver is a proud and noble animal

As a follow up to this previous post, I give you more tattoo idiocy.

Canadian Lane Jensen made a radical move to have one of the most bizarre operations of the year — to insert silicone implants not in his chest, but in his leg.

Before	Now with chesty goodness

A devotee of body art already, Lane had a tattoo of a large busted lady on his shin. He felt the tattoo wasn’t entirely dramatic enough, so he had silicone implanted underneath the breasts on the tattooed woman to make the inkwork more effective in the right areas.

“I thought for sure I’d be light headed or sick from the visual but in fact, after 15 minutes I sat up and watched. Today it doesn’t feel any worse than a minor bruise. It looks great and accents the tattoo very well.” said Jensen.

“My leg breast implants are doing great 1 week after the implant was inserted. The one spot where the nipple rubs against my pants is a little sore. It’ll callus up and be fine soon.” he adds.

UPDATE:

The implants were put in on December 9, but by Christmas Eve the sutures had split, and large quantities of lymphatic fluid were oozing out of his leg, Lane told the Edmonton Sun. “There was so much fluid in there. I went back to the studio and pushed on it gently — the implant shot right out.” He says that there was nothing wrong with the implant procedure. “My body just rejected it. I guess my girl wasn’t meant to have 3D breasts.”

And, as a further treat, I present:

What your tattoo says about you

Girl with 56 stars tattooed on face admits she asked for them

A teenage girl who claimed 56 stars were tattooed on her on her face as she slept when she asked for three has admitted she was awake the whole time – and lied because her father was “furious”.

Kimberley Vlaminck had insisted she dozed off after asking the tattooist for just three small stars – then woke in horror to find her face was covered. The Belgian blamed the Flemish-speaking tattooist for not being able to understand her French and English instructions.

Amid a frenzy of media attention, she then pledged to sue the tattoo artist, Rouslan Toumaniantz, for the £9,000 she needed for laser surgery to have them removed.

She said after the tattooing last week: “It is terrible for me. I cannot go out on to the street. I look like a freak.”

But the 18-year-old has finally confessed she did not fall asleep, that she wanted all the stars and was “fully aware” of what Mr Toumaniantz was doing. Ms Vlaminck told a Dutch TV crew: “I asked for 56 stars and initially adored them. But when my father saw them, he was furious. So I said I fell asleep and the that the tattooist mad made a mistake.”

Mr Toumaniantz – himself covered from head to foot in tattoos and piercings – had consistently denied he had made a mistake and always insisted Vlaminck wanted all 56 stars. He said at the time: “I maintain that she absolutely agreed that I tattoo those 56 stars on the left side of her face.”

But despite insisting she had asked for 56 stars, he still initially agreed to pay for half of the treatment to remove the tattoos. He said: “Kimberley is unhappy and it is not my wish to have an unsatisfied client. I don’t regret it. To tell you the truth, this has given me some publicity.” Mr Toumanaintz is now said to have withdrawn his cash offer and said from now on he will get written consent from clients before he begins tattooing.

I’m sorry, but the girl is an idiot precious-snowflake-attention-whore. Remember kiddies, this is why you actually need to think about the consequences of getting tattooed and that it pays to reflect on what you’re actually getting inked onto yourself. I have ink. I do not regret it at all. I want more, and I think that the design that I want is starting to percolate towards a solid concept. Just remember this: