The beaver is a proud and noble animal

Writing software specs is boring beyond belief.

That is all.

Ladies, I think this one's a winner as well. It's called Sexy Losers. It's wrong, but so funny :)

Met up with eniran and her girl last night at Hurleys. Much laughter, boob grabbing and public lewdness ensued. Well, more bathroom lewdness than public, but still… and the boob grabbing was mostly on their part (but it's always enjoyable to see :P) It was really funny to see eniran with a constant blush.

Apparently, we were a fun table, as Dusty, the barmaid, came over and chatted with us for a while. I like her a lot (and she's cute as a button too). Always good.

After drinks, the girls and I headed to my place for dinner. I promised A. a home-cooked dinner a while ago, and finally had a chance to make good on my promise. It was cream of carrot soup, freshly tossed green salad^† with wine vinegar and dijon dressing, penne with kosher^‡ turkey carbonara and fresh-from-the-oven chocolate chip muffins. From the lack of dinner conversation and the hoovering of food, I think it went well. Then again, they might just have been really hungry :)

Talked a bit with the girls, and almost fell asleep on the couch. All in all, a very fun night.

Memorable quotes:

That girl is so going down… and not in a good way.

You're going to the bathroom with me.
Um, no I'm not.
Would it change your mind to know that I'm not wearing any underwear?
Um, yes it would.

† with huge-ass romaine chunks that don't (or barely) fit in your mouth
‡ the turkey was kosher, but it was mixed with cream and cheese, so A is going to hell for that meal.

American Idol gone really, really bad

At a taping for the upcoming “bad talent” series, “Superstar USA” producers lied and told audience members that the talentless contestants were actually terminally ill patients from the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

The producers were worried that if they didn't lie, the audience [Note: who had been paid to be there] would laugh or boo the contestants and give away the entire premise of the show, which is to fool really bad singers into thinking they're good.

The show, which debuts Monday on the WB network, is a spoof of “American Idol” reject William Hung and the rest of the tryouts who don't seem to realize just how bad they are.

The idea of the show is to reward only the worst singers in the competition and move them on to the next round. The joke, of course, is on the deluded singers – with the very worst of them being crowned the “winner” at the end of the four-week series.

Officials for “Superstar USA” and the WB issued apologies over the weekend about the Make-a-Wish Foundation comment after an article appeared in the Los Angeles Times.

---

Bletchley Park and the quest for the Holy Graal

Experts from Bletchley Park are trying to crack a 250-year-old code rumoured to point the way to the Holy Grail. Specialists from the Buckinghamshire code-breaking centre hope to decipher words etched on a garden ornament at Shugborough in Staffordshire.

The Shepherd's Monument in the grounds of the stately home displays an inscription that has never been solved. Second World War veterans using the celebrated Enigma machine are joining Bletchley's current team of experts. […] Bletchley Park's director said: “This is such an unusual challenge that my colleagues and collaborators, who include veteran code breakers and modern day decoding experts from Bletchley Park's 'offspring' GCHQ, cannot resist.”

Shugborough's general manager, Richard Kemp, said: “The Anson family, who built the estate, commissioned the monument but it had unproven connections with the Knights Templars. “The inscription is rumoured to indicate the location of the Holy Grail, which must rank as one of the world's great mysteries.”

---

The women of Home Depot

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) – Playboy is trying to find out if the young woman who helps you find a bolt at Home Depot has something else she wants to show you. Playboy.com says it is seeking female employees of the largest home improvement chain to “shuck their orange smocks and show their hardware.”

The adult men's publication has previously run pictorials of the women of collapsed energy trader Enron, the world's largest coffee chain Starbucks and the world's largest retailer Wal-Mart.

For those Home Depot employees interested in applying for the pictorial, Playboy.com said they can send a headshot and a full-body shot, bikini-clad or nude, a copy of a government-issued ID proving they are 18 or older, and a recent pay stub proving they are employed by Home Depot.

When contacted, Home Depot released a statement saying “the company is aware of this invitation, but does not endorse it, support it, nor are we affiliated with it in any way.”

---

Ukranian ammo dump goes boom when soldiers light up

KIEV (Reuters) – Two smoking soldiers set off tons of ammunition that killed five people, caused $725 million in damage and sent debris showering across southern Ukraine last week, the emergencies minister said on Tuesday. A series of blasts hurled debris as far as 25 miles after fire broke out last Thursday at a warehouse complex where 92,000 tons of artillery ammunition was stored.

Blasts were still heard on Tuesday, emergencies minister Hryhory Reva told parliament. “At about 12 o'clock on Thursday, two servicemen, who were stocking military ammunition, began smoking at their working site. It caused the fire and set off the explosions,” he said.

The blasts caused some $725 million in damage to the defense ministry and population in the Zaporizhya region, he said. They destroyed buildings in a two-mile radius, including a local railway station. A minor gas pipeline was also damaged. Metal fragments and other debris were thrown 40 km, causing fires in nearby towns.

Authorities evacuated some 7,000 people from the surrounding area. People started to return home on Tuesday, five days after the initial blasts.

http://www.carstuckgirls.com/

Quoted from the website: Here you'll find Pedal Pumping videos and pictures of sexy young girls who got stuck hopeless with their car, jeep, suv or van in mud, snow, sand, clay or wet grass. See Pedal Pumping with sweet muddy feet, barefoot or with boots, pantyhose, pumps, high-heels, riding boots, sneakers or buffalos. Our cute girls try to rock, push and tow the car out of the mud. So when you like spinning tires and love to see a girl who stuck in the mud or maybe a muddy catfight – Then you are right here, because we are the experts for carstuck and Pedal Pumping fetish!

Sweet! That's a new one on me :D

Issa tha engrish website. You go see now: http://www.engrish.com/recent.php

There are two shows I'd like to go see at the Jazz fest this year. Anybody want to join me?

1. George Thorogood and the Destroyers + Colin James
http://www.montrealjazzfest.com/fijm2004/frameFicheArt_en.asp?artId=682

2. Bela Fleck and the Flecktones
http://www.montrealjazzfest.com/fijm2004/frameFicheArt_en.asp?artId=662

Found a new webcomic. It's called Filthy Lies

Today will be a sloooooow day. I am suffering from a bad case of dayafteritis.

It all started last night, when eniran came over for dinner and a movie after her walkies with strychnyn. When she got to my apartment, Caro, Annie and Seb were already on their merry way. It was Annie's pre-doctoral exam that day, and it didn't go well, so it was an occasion to get hammered. I made Sara and I some grub, and we joined the revellers on the balcony for a smoke before eating. That's basically when it all went downhill :)

Sara and I started to watch Last Samourai, but the roommates were in fine form, and we basically just watched the movie with half an eye. Watching Caro in action was so much funnier. I swear, the girl should give up lab research for stand-up comedy.

Don't ask me how the topic came up, for she went on a 30 minute rant about waxing her legs. She had all of us pissing ourselves, while she was miming the torture that is hot waxing in the middle of the living room floor. She then went on another rant concerning online dating, and the fact that a coworker had called her superficial. Chu pas superficielle crisse, c'est un catalogue de gars. Pourquoi je prendrais le petit gros?. My reply to that caused Seb to go in a laughing fit that left both of us panting and gasping for breath. Finally, because she hurt herself and hasn't done any exercise in the last week, she decided to do some pushups and situps and crunches – again in the middle of the living room. Then there was the incident with the bathroom scale (Tu veux que je me mettes la face dans ton cul???). I have pictures. Sadly, my camera ran out of batteries when things were really getting good, but I still have some pictures – which should make it online as soon as I get new batteries.

Man, those two were in fine shape last night.

But today I hurt.

It was worth it though :)

Found this on sinfest this morning. Click on the thumbnaili to see a bigger version: