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Tag: bill bailey

The tao of Bill Bailey

Posted on December 23, 2015December 23, 2015 By admin No Comments on The tao of Bill Bailey

Contentment is knowing you’re right. Happiness is knowing somebody else is wrong.

Danish hygge could be considered as “cosiness of the soul”. The Danes insist though that hygge was never meant to be translated. It was meant to be felt.

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‘It’s going quite well,’ says Bill Bailey, 30 minutes into his new show. ‘I think I’ll do my joke.’

Yep, Bailey is on typically bewildered form in ‘Limboland’, which has landed in the West End for a Christmas run after a year of touring. The closest the 51-year-old comic gets to a one-liner is a lengthy, meandering gag that starts ‘Lionel Richie walks into a bar…’ But quickfire jokes aren’t Bailey’s style, of course, and his trademark fanciful musings and musical deconstructions are out in force.

‘We’re in a strange time of extremes,’ he explains at the top of the show, before launching into a wonderfully playful routine about the post-election political landscape and the Labour Party’s current ‘experimental album’. As the show title suggests, Bailey feels caught in the middle; the long-time lefty’s not quite sure what to think or who to believe in.

From there, the grumblingly upbeat comic moves into jokes about typical British feelings or trying to explain Skype to his octogenarian father; and in the second half, there are more long-form stories as he explores what it actually means to be ‘happy’.

It’s Bailey’s beautiful turns of phrase and imaginative similes that bring each tale to life. There’s a whimsical poetry to every sentence; each observation is filtered through his fluffy brain like he’s in one long, extended daydream.

But it’s when he gets behind an instrument that the musically-dexterous comic is at his best. Remixes of iPhone ringtones, German death metal covers of Abba songs and ‘Happy Birthday’ reimagined as a 1930s Berlin cabaret number and a Moby masterclass are just a few highlights.

There’s a musical theme to his stories too, as he describes an awkward encounter with Sir Paul McCartney and a trip to see ‘boneless chickens’ One Direction at the O2.

It’s Bailey on top form; joyous, playful and effortlessly funny. ‘Limboland’ brings more festive cheer than Santa this Christmas.

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Bill Bailey’s top ten qualms about modern life

Posted on September 3, 2013 By admin

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Pop music

I was becoming that person I never wanted to be, who says: ‘These are not tunes! You can’t whistle ’em.’ So I compared the current charts with the charts when I was a teenager in the early Eighties. The charts now are very homogeneous. Then, they were all over the place: a rock song, disco, punk, a novelty song about a chicken. It was about fun. That’s what’s missing from modern music.

Growing older

In Western culture, we’re very bad at revering older people. My grandparents lived with us and my memory of coming home from school is talking through the business of the day with them. I liked that. But a lot of older people find themselves on their own and that’s a tragedy. When I go to Indonesia, I see huge extended families. It might be chaotic and cramped, but everyone’s included.

Celebrity culture

I react badly when I’m introduced as ‘a celebrity’. When I was growing up, there were astronauts and scientists who attained celebrity as a consequence of talent. That process has been eroded to the point that you can now be ‘a’ celebrity – or that horrible abbreviation ‘celeb’. It sounds like a cross between a slug and a shed.

Forgotten heroes

Sometimes people who are unashamed about self-promotion are the ones history remembers. But there’s a treasure trove of people who, for the luck of history or their self- effacing manner, were not in the spotlight. If I could, I would devote time to telling their stories.

Science versus God

What I find amusing is that the Higgs boson particle scientists were searching for was nicknamed the ‘God particle’. Yet, if it was found to exist – which they now say it does – it would mean perhaps there is no God. But nobody could agree whether it existed or not; even now it’s just dots on a screen. It’s been said that the higher you get into science, the more conceptual conversations start to resemble religious conversations. Perhaps science is the new God.

Modern comedy

I don’t like cruelty in comedy, ill-thought-out routines that get a reaction because there’s a shock to them, when the subjects of the jokes are vulnerable people. Comedy should be escapist and thought-provoking. In straitened times, comedy is a useful safety valve for peopleto let off steam. It’s a way of airing a sense of injustice in public so that politicians and bankers are brought down to size.

Teaching and ignorance

I was horrified by a survey where a depressingly high number of kids couldn’t match up chops with the correct animals. So I jumped at the chance to do a campaign – Farming and Countryside Education (FACE) – to reconnect kids with food. Parents have an obligation to get their kids outside because teachers are bogged down with the curriculum.

Gadget mania

I’m a terrible one for gadgets. But what bugs me is that you buy something and six months later the update doesn’t fit with it. It’s our own fault. We’re constantly shown glittering images of new devices and they’re impossible to resist.

Britain’s global tinkering

We imagine ourselves to be more important than we are. What was a global empire is now a small country in northern Europe. The myth is: We’ll send the chaps in… bish, bash, bosh! Then they all leave in tanks and planes, waving ‘Jolly good luck!’ It doesn’t happen like that. You get embroiled in a long, costly war of attrition that never seems to achieve anything. Afghanistan is just tragic.

Cluster-qualms

These are when one worry splits like an amoeba in two, then into four, then suddenly you’ve got 64 worries. On a trip to the shops, you can’t park. Then you think, I shouldn’t be driving… But I need a car to get all the stuff. Do I need all that stuff? I should be growing my own vegetables. But I live in London and there’s not enough space… Aarrgghh!

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Bill Bailey

Posted on June 25, 2012 By admin

Katy and I saw Bill Bailey in London a few weekends ago. It was a good show, as usual :) Some quotes from the show:

Rejected BBC Shows:

  • Arab Spring Watch
  • Rhetorical Question Time
  • Heckler comebacks (there was a really, really annoying woman in the front row who thought she was hot shit):

  • You’re as insignificant as a like a cress leaf in a vindaloo
  • Talking to you is like catching the bouquet at a funeral
  • BB: Which one came first? DNA or proteins?
    Heckler (me!!): RNA!
    BB: You know, that’s why I like doing shows in London. You get a better class of hecklers.

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    Bill Bailey’s Dandelion Mind

    Posted on September 10, 2010September 10, 2010 By admin

    Katy and I had a rare night out on Wednesday night when we went to see a Bill Bailey warm-up show for his new comedy project, Dandelion Mind. It’s described as follows:

    Featuring Bill’s trademark musical interludes, observations and stories of the road, Dandelion Mind will be based loosely on the theme of doubt (or will it?), as we follow Bill from his real-life saga of being trapped by the ash cloud, to his barely contained rants about celebrity, TV, creationism and Michael Winner. He demonstrates new instruments, both ancient and modern, he sings an internet love song, a lament about punk heroes, Iranian hip-hop, and plays a mean folk-bouzouki.

    Thomas the Doubter gets a new look, and Darwin’s curious obsessions and the myth of intelligent design are all worked over in Bailey’s own surreal style. He revisits the music of his youth, with a brand-new French Disco re-working of Gary Numan’s hit, Cars, played in his own inimitable way, and maybe some Wurzels-based remixes of classic German techno. Just your normal Bill Bailey gig, then.

    It wad a great show because the venue – the Leicester Square Theater – was rather intimate (less than 500 people, max) and it allowed for some really good (and some not so good) heckling. I really have to give mad props for the man to be able to improvise so much and so well at the drop of a hat. At one point, we were having a barnacle penis length auction. You need a very quick mind to be able to handle that :)

    The show was also a bit more raucous and raw than his normal material. It was interesting to see that.

    I also managed to find some bootlegs of part of the show. They’re quite funny :D

    Katy’s parents babysat doofus while were were at the show and spent the night. I took yesterday off and we went to see some bathroom designs. We topped off the evening with a BBQ and a couple of pitchers of spiked Margaritas. I had my first hangover in years this morning.

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    Bill Bailey in London

    Posted on July 15, 2010 By admin

    We got tickets to go see Bill Bailey’s Dandelion Mind in London in September, woot!

    From the newsletter:

    Featuring Bill’s trademark musical interludes, observations and stories of the road, Dandelion Mind will be based loosely on the theme of doubt (or will it?), as we follow Bill from his real-life saga of being trapped by the ash cloud, to his barely contained rants about celebrity, TV, creationism and Michael Winner. He demonstrates new instruments, both ancient and modern, he sings an internet love song, a lament about punk heroes, Iranian hip-hop, and plays a mean folk-bouzouki. Thomas the Doubter gets a new look, and Darwin’s curious obsessions and the myth of intelligent design are all worked over in Bailey’s own surreal style. He revisits the music of his youth, with a brand-new French Disco re-working of Gary Numan’s hit, Cars, played in his own inimitable way, and maybe some Wurzels-based remixes of classic German techno. Just your normal Bill Bailey gig, then.

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    What’s new and exciting in the world of Richard and Katy

    Posted on October 20, 2008August 28, 2019 By admin 1 Comment on What’s new and exciting in the world of Richard and Katy

    It’s been a while since I last posted something more meaningful than an article lamenting the decline of the US (still, there’s lots to lament). I have actual, honest-to-goodness content to post today, so I might as well get started.

    Katy’s started coming on campus to have lunch with me a few times a week. It gets her out of her PJs and gives her the occasion to see Stephane and Sheila once in a while.

    We went to the NCT nearly new sale two Sundays ago and got the last bits of baby clothing we wanted (mostly some sleep suits and something suitable for what passes for winter in this country). After the chaos that was the sale (imagine a few hundred mommies vying to get the best bargains in enclosed spaces – I’m surprised there wasn’t any bloodshed!), we went to Saffron Walden for a late lunch. We tried Dish, a place we’d walked by countless times before but finally decided to go in. We were happily surprised. The decor tries a bit too hard to be jazzy and stylish, but the food is fresh, tasty and they even catered to my various allergies without batting an eye.

    We saw a hedgehog on the neighbour’s doorstep one evening last week. It was cute and spiky and wanted to be left alone, so we did.

    Katy spent another long Tuesday at Addenbrookes, getting poked, prodded and smeared in ultrasound jelly. The good news is that her blood pressure seems to be stabilizing, as are her liver enzymes. The less good news is that her blood sugars are still all over the place and aren’t even considering playing nice. It seems that the more insulin they put her on, the worse off her sugar levels get. It makes no sense… We’re going to have a long, hard chat with the diabetic clinic midwives tomorrow to figure out what options we have. Katy’s almost taking more insulin than her mom, which is wrong on so many levels it defies description. On the upside though, Ben is still dancing the rumba on a daily basis so he seems to be doing fine.

    We got the all-clear from Addenbrookes to go see Bill Bailey’s Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra at the Royal Albert Hall last Thursday evening. I’d taken Thursday and Friday off so we could take our time getting there and back. Turns out that Phil, a work colleague, was able to give us a lift to London in the afternoon because he and his missus also had tickets to go see the show.

    It had taken me the better part of a day to get the tickets when they first went on sale (and the website melted down!) but it was so, so worth it! We were 6 rows from the stage! Most excellent :) The show was great and we’ll be buying it as soon as it comes out on DVD.

    We had an al fresco picnic in the courtyard of the RAH before the show – chicken drumsticks, sausages, bread, cheese, olives and home-made coleslaw. All very yummy, but the experience would have been more pleasant if not the fact that we were freezing our butts off :)

    We had a show pootle back to the hotel after the show. 20 Nevern Square is, by far, our favouritest hotel in London. The rooms are great (especially given the fact that they upgraded us to a suite both times we’ve been there) and the breakfast is kick-ass. We’d planned to go to the British Museum and the V&A on Friday but Katy was feeling less than stellar, so we headed back to Cambs on the train.

    As you can see, Katy was tired and I was despairing at my ever-advancing hair loss.

    We were expecting Lennart, Leen and their son Reuben for Sunday lunch, so we spent most of Saturday cleaning house and prepping culinary delights. I made a ham and roasted a chicken. I haven’t been impressed with the quality of the chickens Tesco is selling these days, so the menu changed from roast chicken to chicken, mushroom & bacon pie. It was very well received :) We spent a very nice afternoon talking about babies and cats.

    Speaking of cats, our two are becoming increasingly clingy these days. Surprisingly so!

    No, I don’t have a night-vision camera (but I do have Photoshop).

    They had their first baby experience last night when Reuben was in a bouncy chair on the kitchen floor. Tolstoy was curious enough to try and sniff the strange creature, but his natural courage quickly reasserted itself and he scampered underneath the kitchen table.

    This week sees us at Addenbrookes again on Tuesday, and then we continue our Christmas shopping. We’re getting it done early for several reasons, most notably because Katy is still on full pay at the moment and we want to get it done before Ben shows up :) We’re doing the bulk of it online – yay, internet shopping! We’re going to go to Scottsdale garden centre on the weekend to see their xmas display though. That’s always fun.

    Oh, and I know I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again – can I be a spoiled rotten cat in my next life, please?

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    That was hard work but, BILL BAILEY!

    Posted on August 4, 2008August 4, 2008 By admin

    Woohoo!

    It took me an hour, two computers, 4 browsers, 3 credit cards and untold amounts of swearing, but I have finally managed to book 2 tickets to go see Bill Bailey’s Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra at the Royal Albert Hall, in October!

    The show will be featuring a 72 piece symphony orchestra!

    Katy is on the BB mailing list and was informed of a pre-registration seat sale for those who knew the magic word (that would be sent by email). It’s been an ordeal, let me tell you. The magical, mystical email was over a week late, but it finally came. The seat sale started today at noon, sharp. People had been advised to go to the Royal Albert ticketing website.

    Which, at noon sharp, melted down.

    It was chaos, I tell you. I was using both my laptop and desktop to try and get to the flippin’ form to book the tickets. Pages would timeout, the webserver would throw error pages left, right and center. At one point, I was informed that all the tickets had been already sold (about 5 minutes into the chaos). What probably happened is that tickets were reserved for a web session, but then the server failed and all the reservation locks weren’t reset and had to timeout. After about 30 minutes of swearing at both computers, I’d finally gotten to a point where I had 4 tickets in my shopping cart and was ready to checkout. After a few more tense minutes, I had finally gotten to a form where I entered my credit card details.

    Except that it wouldn’t validate any of the 3 credit cards I tried, probably because the CC validation server was also melting down.

    At which point I gave up and went on the phone. 30 minutes later, I had a woman with a lovely phone voice selling me 2 tickets in no time (and no hassle) at all. We’re 8 rows from the stage, so I should be able to get a good view of the show :)

    This makes me happy.

    I’ve now informed Katy that, even if she has to give birth at the show, we’re going. Hell, it’s going to be filmed for a DVD so it would probably make the bonus features :D

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