My relationship savagely described by CAH. Fun fact, Katy was the card tzar and we were playing with her dad :)
Tag: christmas
Dad (or Christmas cracker) jokes
I need a good set of them to turture granddad.
What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker
How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey?
On the dark side!
What is the Grinch’s least favourite band?
The Who!
What do you get if Santa forgets to wear his undercrackers?
St Nickerless
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost
Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
What do you get if you put a bell on a skunk?
Jingle smells
How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas?
He felt his presents
Why did the Grinch go to Bargain Booze?
He was searching for some holiday spirit
What does Santa spend his wages on?
Jingle Bills
Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem?
It takes a miracle to find three wise men there
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy
Which Christmas carol is about an animal with three legs?
Little Wonkey
How can you tell if you are at a Brexit party this Christmas?
Because everyone wants to leave
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose
What does Miley Cyrus have for her Christmas dinner?
Twerky
Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no body to go with
How will Brexit affect Christmas dinner?
No Brussels
Why is Mrs Claus always checking Santa’s phone?
He seems to know where all the naughty girls live
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Rude-olph!
Who do Santa’s helpers call when they’re ill?
The National Elf Service!
Why did Santa quit smoking?
Because it was bad for his elf
What’s Tarzan’s favourite Christmas song?
Jungle bells
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite
What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
Fleece Navidad!
What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?
Welfy!
What was the three wise men’s favourite Christmas carol?
Oh Camel, Ye Faithful
When is a Christmas dinner bad for your health?
When you’re the turkey…
What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?
Wrap
Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer?
Spruce Springsteen
What does Santa use to bake cakes?
Elf-raising flour
Why did the choir have to cancel their carol concert?
They caught tinsel-itis
What is the duck’s favourite Christmas carol?
In The Beak Midwinter
Christmas Dinner, done!
Mashed potatoes, roast potatoes, brussels, carrots, peas, cauliflower, broccoli, Yorkshire pudding, stuffing, turkey breast.
Turkey brine:
1/2 cup salt
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 tbsp grated ginger
2 tbsp fennel seeds
1 tsp peppercorns
1L water
Mix everything and bring to a boil. Cool down and dilute to 4L. Brine 1.5kg turkey breast overnight in the fridge.
I think someone’s trying to send a message
But I’m not sure…
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
Or not. These past couple of years, the holidays have become less and less a time of joy and more and more a source of anxiety, frustration and honesty… depression.
Don’t get me wrong. There are moments I still treasure. They just seem to be more difficult to achieve and it involve more drama to get to.
I found a good article recently that had some advice I thought I’d share, just in case it can help someone.
Make a flexible plan: Make plans and then communicate them clearly with your family. Don’t overbook. Build time in, so you don’t have to rush, and leave time for yourself.
Set realistic expectations: You can’t do everything, so focus on what matters. Where do you want to put your energy? The holidays have a lot of “shoulds.” Don’t be afraid to say no.
Be open to new traditions: “But we always …” is not a reason to do something you don’t enjoy. If a tradition doesn’t work for you, make a new one.
Be aware of what you need: Get outside in the sunlight when possible. Get some physical exercise. Make sure you get the proper amount of sleep.
Stop it before it starts: Pay attention and self-diagnose. Are you experiencing a change in your eating or sleep patterns? Do you find yourself declining invitations you would normally accept because it seems like too much effort to go? Don’t ignore self-care and be mindful about how you are navigating the holidays.
Swissmas, with friends
It was loud, chaotic, funny, foodie, boozy. It was lovely. We were 30 people and a dog, which is probably about the maximum amount that will fit in the flat.
Our friends and neighbours:
Paul and Lam
Colin, Karen, Meg and Davey
Jennifer, Jonathan, Milla and James
Mary-Jane
Mira, Emmanuel and Eliza
My co-workers:
Damian and Gillian
Roko, Rudger and Suttipong
Katy’s clients:
Ewalina
Melody
Christina, Mark and Zoe
Guillaume, Françoise, Raphael and Lily
It kind of went by in a blur! You try and see and talk to everyone. You hope everyone has a good time, and enough to eat and drink. On that last note, I think it was a frank success, as we were actively pushing people to take food with them because there was no way we’d be able to eat everything.
What’s really cool is that people knew each other without us knowing. Emmanuel goes to the same school as Davey. Eliza does ballet with Milla. Paul and Colin both teach at the EPFL. Melody and Mira both work for PMI. What’s also very comforting is the fact that we feel… integrated. We have a community of friends, colleagues, parents, clients that we’re happy to share food, drink and time with – to invite into our home and to invite to get to know each other. It’s a good feeling.
And there was a dog. And the cats were actually around (and being social and not hiding).
What Christmas movie are we watching?
Yippee Ki-Yay, Mr. Falcon!
Christmas market raclette
Ok, so the bulk of the raclette cheese and the pickles comes from Aldi and the potatoes are leftovers from the roast I cooked yesterday, but the rest – venison sausage, honey roast ham and honey roasted belly pork and truffle raclette – were just bought from the Morges Christmas market and I made the bagels this morning.
Morges Christmas market
The mulled wine isn’t bad and the cannons are very festively decked.
Cats and boxes
Cats love boxes and enclosed spaces. Pavel is a cat’s cat and loves himself a box. This however, is impressive. We’re not sure how it happened, but he did that all on his own. Having said that, it’s the Christmas gift that keeps on giving…