Tag: geek

IT wisdom

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Benford's Law: Passion is inversely proportional to the amount of real information available. (Gregory Benford)

Clarke's First Law: When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong. (Arthur C Clarke)

Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management. (Scott Adams)

Ellison's Law: The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. (Harlan Ellison)

Fisher's Fundamental Theorem: The more highly adapted an organism becomes, the less adaptable it is to any new change. (R A Fisher)

Godwin's Law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one. (Mike Godwin)

Hanlon's Law: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. (?Robert Heinlein)

Heisenbug Uncertainty Principle: Most production software bugs are soft: they go away when you look at them. (Jim Gray)

Lister's Law: People under time pressure don't think faster. (Timothy Lister)

Murphy's Law: If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it. (Edward A Murphy)

Occam's Razor: The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct. (William of Occam)

Parkinson's Law: Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. (C Northcote Parkinson)

Pesticide Paradox: Every method you use to prevent or find bugs leaves a residue of subtler bugs against which those methods are ineffectual. (Bruce Beizer)

Spector's Law: The time it takes your favorite application to complete a given task doubles with each new revision. (Lincoln Spector)

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I knew it, bastards :)

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Try as they might, scientists havent managed to better one of mankinds most enduring technologies paper. But the pain of carrying a library to the beach may soon be over, thanks to Sonys new electronic book. The Readers revolutionary feature is its 6in screen, which uses E Ink technology that is as easy on the eye as newsprint and requires power only to change what its displaying which extends battery life. The built-in memory will store 80 novels, which you can download from the internet. And when you grow weary of reading, you can use the reader to play MP3 music or audiobooks. The UK launch is expected later in the year.

This is a quote from Tom Dunmore, editor of Stuff magazine.

I will not say I told you so, but I told you so. I bought the Sony reader yesterday. Today, I see news reports that the Hanlin V3 is going in mass production at the end of july and that the sony is coming to the UK.

Aw screw it, I told you so!

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Anticipation!!!

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I'm >< this close to getting my grubby mits on an ebook reader!

Sony, evil bastards that they are, are only marketing the PRS-500 in the US. This means that, to be able to get a reader, I had to:

– ask an american visitor to purchase it on his american credit card
– have it delivered to an address in the US belonging to a friend of an american coworker
– having said american coworker pick it up when he's in the US on vacation next month.

All because I can't order the damn thing myself.

The order has been made on the SonyStyle website and the guy has been send an email confirmation, but the funds have yet to be cleared by the credit card. I keep refreshing the order status page on the Sony website and it still says “Pending remote fulfillment”.

This is where I realize that England (and Europe in general) has a brilliant system for mail order and internet shopping. I've never had this much trouble ordering stuff online and have it automagically appear on my doorstep the following day.

I hope there's no delay or bureaucratic red-tapish crap. The american visitor is leaving tomorrow morning (and, since I wasn't expecting any problems, I've already transferred the money to his paypal account)

I'm sure everything will work itself out, but it's driving me nuts in the meantime :)

I can't wait, ohboy ohboy ohboy!

Update: The status is now “Order received by OMS”, whatever the hell that means :) At least it doesn't sound negative :D

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Events conspire to give me a message

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First, I came across:
A bunch of geeks using solid state Tesla coils to play The 1812 overture and the Super Mario theme song .

Then, there was:
Greg Patillo, a beatboxing flute player (!), playing a unique rendition of the Super Mario theme song and the Sesame Street theme song

And then, when I went to go to the bathroom, I discovered a real-life garage band playing in the EBI underground parking lot. Apparently, they practice there during lunch time.

This makes me realize just how much I miss playing music.

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Why was ths not available years ago when I was a lonely geek?

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A Dutch escort agency Society Service has set up a special service for geek virgins looking for that elusive first sexual encounter. Sociology student Zoe Vialet set up the agency last year, Ananova reports, and admits she's had “a lot of demand from virgins” – most of them from the IT sector. She explained to De Telegraaf: “They are very sweet but are afraid of seeking contact with other people. They mean it very well but are very scared.”

Zoe has a crack team of five girls “specially trained” to pop geeks' cherries. However, those readers tempted to avail themselves of their charms are warned it's not just a case of stump up the cash, insert your floppy in the drive, eject and then off for a pizza.

Au contraire, you'll be expected to hone your skills over a extended period, as Vialet insisted: “Every booking lasts three hours minimum. Longer is possible, shorter not. We take the time to take a bath together, do a massage and explore each others body. When the date is over, you will have had a fantastic experience, and you will be able to pleasure a woman.”

And just in case you thought you might just try and get a real squeeze for a bit of mutual body-exploration, think again. Vialet warned: “You better practise before having a girlfriend. Woman expect men older than 30 having had some experience. Some men need a little bit of help. But it makes them happy and they are glowing .There is nothing more terrible than dying as a virgin.”

Source: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/04/20/geek_service/

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Blogging from the loo

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Sometimes I'm such a nerd, I scare myself.

What do you do when you *really* want to check your email because you've not had a chance to do it all day but you *really* need to go powder your nose?

You take your wireless laptop with you, of course.

Sad, sad man I am. Having said that, I'm sure that among my readers I'm not the only person to have ever done so.

In other news, good news for a change.

I came back from a wii session in the Sanger shared facilities conference room this morning to find that I had a plain brown enveloppe waiting for me at home. Opening said enveloppe revealed a short letter and a handwritten cheque. It seems that the Home Office has refunded my failed passport application. This is more confusing that it seems, as it's written in big bold letters on the application form that refused applications will not be reimbursed. That's why I was so pissed when it first got refused, over a month ago. I so wasn't expecting this (and neither was Katy – her reply being “Since when has the government decided to be nice?”).

I'm guessing that it's a spin-off effect of my “pseudo” diplomatic visa. In any case, I'm not complaining and it's £335 that's going straight in the piggy bank.

Went into town to go pay that cheque in and send off my grandfather's 100th birthday gift. The old coot has been saying that he won't make it through the winter for the last 40 years and now he's going to receive a letter from the Queen :)

Now I'm back home alone save for the cat. Katy is in Derby (pronounced Daaaaaaaaaarby – the 'r' being optional even) to visit Rita. The cat is being shockingly nice. He's jumped on the bed this morning and butted me in the face demanding fuss. He's jumping on the couch to sit on my leg and watch the snooker world championships. He's climbing on the coffee table to stretch and put his paws on my stomach to beg for fuss.

Somebody has clearly doppelgangered our cat, but I'm not complaining. He did however finally kill Katy's plant that, frankly, had been slowly dying of neglect on the windowsill in any case. It did require some impromptu vacuuming lest he be tempted to use the soil on the carpet as a room-sized litter box but it's a small price to pay if he remains such a nice cat.

And now, Daleks!

EXTERMINATE!!!!

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