Tag: I am Canadian

A quick entry

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A few quick bits that I will expand on later:
– Lugging 30 pounds of prezzies is fucking heavy
– Met Michel and Sara at Weinsteins. Food porn. Watermelon porn. All good.
– My cat is now fucking HUGE! yet still insane and addicted to catnip.
– I have been awake for 2 hours and doing computer tech support for 1.5 of them. Such is my lot in life.

More later, must go eat.

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Canadia – day 1 – The more things change…

Posted on By admin 4 Comments on Canadia – day 1 – The more things change…

The key points from yesterday:

  • International air travel is boring. We spent 7.5 hours sitting down at 36,000ft
  • The little screen above us had shit-poor picture quality and the larger screen at the front of the cabin was projecting in sepiatone. WTF? I watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and it was painful because it was between fuzzy reception and blurry sepiatone. Fun.
  • Customs at Ottawa airport were interesting because I didn't know if I should declare myself a visitor or a resident. Given that I don't have a current address in Canada, I had to declare myself a visitor to my own damn country :)
  • It's somewhat amusing that all our clothing fits inside a carry-on bag, but we still brought a fucking huge and heavy suitcase full of prezzies.

I finished wrapping most of the presents up this morning while Katy was having a nap. It's good that she's finally getting some rest – it'll do her good. I want this trip to be stress-free and fun-filled. I'm looking into how we're going to get to Montreal tomorrow. I'm thinking the train, because that would drop us off directly at Bonaventure, right at the Salon des Metiers d'arts.

It's weird a bit to be back in Canada. It seems that I really settled into Cambridge life. When I walked into my folks' house, I saw all the old surroundings and all my old stuff that I couldn't bring. Like my TV. Damn, that thing was big. From talking to Katy, it probably wouldn't even fit inside our flat.

As to the title of this post, I'm currently fixing my dad's computer :)

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You know you're from Montreal when…

Posted on By admin 3 Comments on You know you're from Montreal when…
  • You have ever said anything like “I have to stop at the guichet before we get to the dep.”
  • Your only concern about jaywalking is getting a ticket.
  • You understand and frequently use terms like 'unilingual,' 'anglophone,''francophone,' and 'allophone.'
  • You agree that Montreal drivers are crazy, but you're secretly proud oftheir nerves of steel.
  • You know that the West Island is not a separate geographical formation.
  • You have to bring smoked meat from Schwartz's, Blue Dry and bagels from StViateur if you're visiting anyone west of Cornwall.
  • You know how to pronounce Pie IX.
  • You believe to the depth of your very being that Toronto has no soul but your high school reunion is held in Toronto because most of your classmates live there now.
  • You know at least one person who works for the CBC, and at least one other person who used to work for Nortel.
  • You're not impressed with hardwood floors.
  • You've been hearing Celine Dion jokes longer than anyone else.
  • You order fries 'with sauce', not 'with gravy'.
  • Shopper's Drug Mart is Pharmaprix and Staples is Bureau en Gros, and PFK is finger lickin' good.
  • For two weeks a year, you are a jazz afficianado.
  • Everyone on the street – drivers, pedestrians, and cyclists – think they're immortal, and that you'll move first.
  • You know that Rocket Richard had nothing to do with astrophysics.
  • You've seen Brother Andre's heart.
  • You know the difference between the SQ, the SAQ, and the SAAQ.
  • You measure temperature and distance in metric, but weight and height in Imperial measure.
  • You show up at a party at 11 p.m. and no one else is there yet.
  • You know that Montreal is responsible for introducing the following to North America: bagels, souvlaki, smoked meat and Supertramp. Also, Chris de Burgh.
  • You don't drink pop or soda, you drink soft drinks.
  • You have graduated from high school and have a degree, but you've never been in grade 12.
  • The margarine in your fridge is the same colour as lard.
  • There has to be at least 30 cm of snow on the ground in less than 24 hours for you to consider it too snowy to drive.
  • You remember where you were during the Ice Storm.
  • You know that your city's reputation for beautiful women is based on centuries old couplings between French soldiers and royally commissioned whores (aka Les Filles du Roi).
  • You don't understand anyone from Lac-St-Jean, but you can fake the accent.
  • You've been to the Tam Tams, and know they have nothing to do with wee Scottish hats.
  • You discuss potholes like most people discuss weather.
  • You encounter bilingual homeless people.
  • While watching an American made-for-TV movie, you realize that “Vienna” is actually Old Montreal, that “New York” is actually downtown and that the “The Futuristic City” is actually Habitat '67.
  • You have yet to understand a single announcement made on the Metro PA system, no matter what the language.
  • You don't find American comedians speaking “gibberish” French even remotely funny.
  • You don't find it weird that there's a strip club on every corner downtown.
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