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Tag: the british way

Dave Gorman Genius

Posted on December 4, 2018December 5, 2018 By admin

Oldie but a goodie!

Genius is a comedy game show on BBC Two, adapted from the original radio series hosted by the comedian Dave Gorman. On Genius, members of the public submit a range of unusual ideas and inventions for Gorman and guest celebrity judges to decide whether the idea is “Genius”. The first series began airing on 20 March 2009, following the success of an unbroadcast pilot.

The potential “genius” delivers their idea from a podium while Gorman and his guest talk about the merits of the plan, performing some experiments concerning the idea. The celebrity judge then decides whether the idea is “Genius or not”, which is done by pressing one of two buttons. If the player is declared a genius, the judge pushes the white button and the stage revolves clockwise, where the player enters a white door and is declared “Genius”. If the player is not a genius, the judge pressed the red button and the stage revolves anticlockwise, where the player enters a red door and is declared “Not a genius”. When all of the ideas have been heard, the judge is then given 10 seconds to decide which of the genius ideas is the most genius. The creator of the winning idea is awarded with the Genius Trophy.

In the middle of the show, Gorman and the judge also read out a selection of rejected ideas, to give an idea of the kind of ideas Genius receives.

The Johnnie Vegas episode is still, by far, my favourite.

The torture box: To punish inanimate items.

https://www.flubu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/genius-torture-box.mp4

The conveyor duvet: A duvet cover which surrounds the bed, so that if you pull it towards you, whoever is sleeping with you still has the duvet covering them.

https://www.flubu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/genius-conveyor-duvet.mp4

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I never thought I’d agree with John Major

Posted on October 17, 2018 By admin

From an op-ed piece in the Guardian. Emphasis, mine.

I have made no false promises on Brexit – I’m free to tell you the truth

John Major

Until now, every US president I have known has considered [the UK’s] relevance to America to be enhanced by our membership of the European Union. Yet very soon – on our current course – we will no longer be able to argue from within the EU for Anglo-American beliefs in free trade, open markets and strong defence. Our friends, the Americans, are hard-headed about power. It is romantic folly to think otherwise. Be in no doubt – if the UK can no longer serve America’s interests in Europe, she will look elsewhere for someone who can.

Our value – as an ally of America – will decline. No “ifs”, no “buts”: we will be less relevant. No one should be bedazzled by folksy talk of our “special relationship”: it is becoming less “special” year by year.

For centuries, our state schemed and plotted to prevent all Europe uniting against us. Now, we have chosen to turn our back on all Europe. A long line of former statesmen will be turning in their graves.

We are told our future aim is to be “Global Britain”: that is certainly the right policy, but it is hardly new. It has been the reality for 300 years.

What is new is that much of the world will now perceive Britain to be a middle-sized, middle-ranking nation that is no longer super-charged by its alliances. Suddenly, the world will be a little chillier.

If the art of negotiation is to obtain what you seek, then the intention must be to give a little to (hopefully) gain a lot more. I cannot know how the government has conducted negotiations in private with the European Union: very possibly they have met the tenets I have set out. But, even if they have (and not all the signs are good), belligerent noises-off – on a daily basis – have built up ill will, and made the prime minister’s task even more difficult.

We know the post-Brexit world will be very different from now. It cannot be otherwise, because no form of Brexit will remotely match up to the promises made by the leave campaign in the referendum: they were vote-gathering fantasies, not serious politics.

I have no constituency vote clouding my view of Brexit. I have no ambition driving my support for it. I have no party whips demanding loyalty before conscience. I have made no false promises about Brexit that I must pretend can still be honoured, even though – in my heart – I know they cannot. I am free to say absolutely and precisely what I believe about Brexit. And it is this:

I understand the motives of those who voted to leave the European Union: it can – as I well know – be very frustrating. Nonetheless, after weighing its frustrations and opportunities, there is no doubt in my own mind that our decision is a colossal misjudgment that will diminish both the UK and the EU. It will damage our national and personal wealth, and may seriously hamper our future security. It may even, over time, break up our United Kingdom. It will most definitely limit the prospects of our young.

And – once this becomes clear – I believe those who promised what will never be delivered will have much to answer for. They persuaded a deceived population to vote to be weaker and poorer. That will never be forgotten – nor forgiven.

Our domestic focus is on the impact leaving Europe will have on the UK. That is quite natural, but, to the world at large, the bigger question is how the EU itself will be affected. The answer is – badly. Without the UK the balance of the EU changes. The free market majority may be at risk: protectionists will be encouraged and, perhaps, empowered.

The UK will no longer be a buffer between the Franco-German steamroller and smaller nations. Germany will be more isolated, and friction may grow. “So what?” committed Brexiteers say. “We won’t be members: it’s Europe’s problem.” But that ignores reality. How can it not be our problem, too?

Whether we are “in” or “out” the EU is in our neighbourhood; it is our predominant economic partner and our wellbeing is inexorably linked to their own wellbeing. In the hot heat of debate it should not be forgotten that we ignore the EU, disdain it, or stand aside from it, at our own risk.

None of the mainstream political parties is in a healthy condition. Both the Conservatives and Labour face pressure from fringe opinion within their own membership. My fear is that the extremes of right and left will widen divisions and refuse to compromise, whereas more moderate opinion will often seek common ground. The risk of intransigence – “my way or no way” – is that the mainstream parties will be dragged further right and further left.

Our nation should not tolerate the unreasoning antipathy of the extremes – to the EU, to foreigners or to minority groups. Such antipathy is repellent, and diminishes us as a nation. Softer, more reasonable voices should not be drowned out by the raucous din of the loudest.

I freely confess to a taste for compromise. Politics is real life. It isn’t warfare. It isn’t a popularity contest. It’s about people. It’s about four nations who deserve more than an ideological tug of war.

Respect and civility would do much to help lift politics out of the dog days in which it is now living. More compromise – less confrontation.

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How best to describe the current situation in England

Posted on July 11, 2018 By admin

Trump is visiting, Brexit is a mess, Theresa May’s cabinet is in shambles, but England is in the semis of the world cup for the first time since 1990 so all is well. 

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Spice tin

Posted on January 6, 2018January 8, 2018 By admin

I am the proud owner of my very own, genuine, Indian masala tin. 

I’m sure that all of Katy’s aunties will tell me I’m doing it wrong, but mine contains mustard seed, fennel seed, turmeric, ginger, cumin, chili and coriander. 

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Beer street Vs Gin lane

Posted on January 4, 2018 By admin

Beer Street and Gin Lane are two prints issued in 1751 by English artist William Hogarth in support of what would become the Gin Act. Designed to be viewed alongside each other, they depict the evils of the consumption of gin as a contrast to the merits of drinking beer.

On the simplest level, Hogarth portrays the inhabitants of Beer Street as happy and healthy, nourished by the native English ale, and those who live in Gin Lane as destroyed by their addiction to the foreign spirit of gin; but, as with so many of Hogarth’s works, closer inspection uncovers other targets of his satire, and reveals that the poverty of Gin Lane and the prosperity of Beer Street are more intimately connected than they at first appear. Gin Lane shows shocking scenes of infanticide, starvation, madness, decay and suicide, while Beer Street depicts industry, health, bonhomie and thriving commerce.

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The mood in the office

Posted on August 8, 2017 By admin

Sometimes, when having to deal with other people, you just smile and nod.

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It’s the small pleasures in life

Posted on July 9, 2017July 9, 2017 By admin

Happiness is a full English breakfast. It’s fat in many colours.

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Sign you’re back in the UK 

Posted on July 6, 2017July 9, 2017 By admin

Dirt cheap premixed cocktails in a can. Go on, my son!

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We’re doing a bad thing 

Posted on July 3, 2017 By admin

We’re going shopping when we’re drunk and hungry this is bad. 

We’re not drunk and hungry. 

OK, we’re tipsy and peckish. 

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Lord Buckethead has spoken 

Posted on June 24, 2017June 26, 2017 By admin

Lord Buckethead made an appearance at Glastonbury Festival on Friday.

Greeted by chants of his name, the former aspiring MP began: “Good evening Glastonbury! Are you having a good time? I am Lord Buckethead, intergalactic space lord.”

He then helpfully clarified: “I am not Lorde the New Zealand songstress,” before going on to reference Labour leader Jeremy’s Corbyn’s widely-publicised slot as a guest speaker at Glastonbury on Saturday.

“I thought to myself: why should the Pyramid stage be the only stage to receive a guest appearance from a political leader? The Park Stage should have one too! So here I am,” he explained, before revealing the “truth” behind his recent political tussle with the current Prime Minister.

“Now, it is only two weeks ago that I faced Theresa May,” Buckethead reminded his audience, pausing to allow for a chorus of boos at May’s name. “In the battle of the Magnet Leisure Centre, Maidenhead.

“The mainstream media would have you believe that she defeated me. Thirty-seven thousand votes to 249.”

In fact, Buckethead said, he had won the election, but had knowingly taken the better deal: instead of facing “agonising” Brexit negotiations in Brussels, he was free to attend Glastonbury.

Speaking to the Guardian after his appearance he gave some thoughts on how Brexit negotiations have been going.

“Could a slightly mouldy pain au chocolat negotiate Brexit better than Theresa May and David Davis? Yes. So yes I could, but whether I should is another matter.”

Asked what advice he would give May and Davis for Brexit, he said: “Be sophisticated, the Europeans are a smart bunch.

“There was a photograph the other day of the negotiating team from Great Britain and the negotiating team from Europe and the team from Europe looked so much smarter, they looked smarter sartorially, intellectually, and they had women, which is something British diplomats seem to have forgotten.”

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