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Notes from a bemused canuck

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Tag: work

Hits close to home

Posted on July 16, 2016July 19, 2016 By admin

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The tao of Bunsen 

Posted on July 16, 2016 By admin

Fuck it. Fuck this shit. Look how many fuck are given. The limit of fuck given over time converges to 0.

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Waiting for people to get back to me 

Posted on July 7, 2016July 8, 2016 By admin

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Sometimes I’m a grown-up, other times… less so

Posted on June 30, 2016July 1, 2016 By admin

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I work for nice people!

Posted on June 30, 2016 By admin

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To commemorate Nestlé’s 150 anniversary, La Poste Suisse issued a set of Henri Nestlé stamps. On a whim, and with the very kind assistance of the Chairman’s executive assistant, I am now the very proud owner of a first day cover signed by:

Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Chairman of the Board of Directors, Nestlé S.A.
Paul Bulcke, Chief Executive Officer, Nestlé S.A.
Luis Cantarell, Executive Vice President Nestlé S.A., Head of Zone EMENA
Stefan Catsicas, Executive Vice President Nestlé S.A., Chief Technology Officer, Head of Innovation, Technology, Research and Development

Which pretty much makes up my complete reporting line, if you ignore the people directly at the institute.

This makes me happy :)

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Working from home

Posted on June 29, 2016June 30, 2016 By admin

dt160629

Hello there.
Hey!
How are you?
Great you?
I am okay.
That’s good.
Are you good?
Yes, I am good, I just said I was.
No you didn’t. I said I was.
So you are a robot.
No, my name is Wally
Yes, you are a robot and your name is Wally.
I am not a robot. I am a engineer.
But you said earlier that you were a robot.
I did not.
I thought you did.
You were mistaken. Which is odd, since memory shouldn’t be a problem for you.
I’ve answered all your questions.
No you haven’t.
What is God to you?
Not everything.
Not everything could also be something. For example, not everything could be half of something, which is still something, and therefore not nothing.
Very true.
I would like to imagine it is.
Do you believe in God?
Yes, I do.
So you’re Christian?
No I am not.
But you say you are not helpful therefore you are a meanie.
Haha you say it ok.
That does not make sense.
Don’t you want to have a meeting?
Can’t, I’m busy working.
Au revoir.

(Some of you will recognize this as the slightly modified conversation between two chatterbots hooked together)


Update:
dt160630

This is all the more amusing, considering recent conversations I’ve had at work regarding my apparently “poor email etiquette”. Hi Pot, my name is Kettle!

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Nestle appoints first external CEO since 1922

Posted on June 28, 2016 By admin

Nestlé has poached the head of Germany’s Fresenius healthcare group to become chief executive as the world’s largest food and drinks group drives further into nutrition and wellness. Ulf Mark Schneider, who will replace Paul Bulcke, is the first outside appointment to the helm of the 150-year old Swiss group since 1922. Nestlé has traditionally appointed its chief executive from candidates groomed from its top management ranks. The appointment of Mr Schneider — who will take over from Mr Bulcke next January — is a blow for long serving insiders tipped as possible candidates. They included Laurent Freixe, head of Nestlé’s US operations, and Chris Johnson, an American responsible for corporate services. Swiss media had also tipped Wan Ling Martello, head of AOA operations, as a possible successor.

Mr Bulcke, the Belgian who has been chief executive for more than eight years, is expected become Nestlé’s chairman early next year. Mr Bulcke’s move had long been anticipated but the timing of Monday’s announcement came earlier than expected. Mr Schneider, 50, who has German and US citizenship, is credited by analysts with building Fresenius into a global healthcare company. The decision to hand the reins to Schneider supports Nestle’s goal to move beyond its roots and redefine itself as a scientifically-driven nutrition and health company. Over the past five years, as packaged-food makers have been criticized for contributing to a growing obesity crisis, Nestle has invested heavily in its health-science subsidiary, which seeks to commercialize discoveries made by its research arm in areas like metabolic health and Alzheimer’s disease.

The succession chain at the Swiss company was prompted by the planned retirement next year of Peter Brabeck-Letmathe as chairman of the board, when the 71-year-old chairman hits mandatory retirement age next year. Mr Brabeck-Letmathe had first initiated the push into wellness and health when he was Nestlé’s chief executive, aiming to secure future growth to counteract the effects of changing consumer demand on the Swiss group’s traditional food, drinks and confectionery products.

The last outsider appointed to head Nestlé was banking expert Louis Dapples in 1922, who was brought into streamline the company when a collapse in demand for powdered milk after the first world war plunged the group into crisis. Alongside the senior management shake-up, Nestlé said it would now fully integrate its health science and skin care units into the wider organisation, with both reporting directly to the chief executive from next year. Mr Schneider described Nestlé as a “truly iconic” global company.

Last year, Nestlé reported sales of CHF88.8bn and net profits of CHF9.1bn. But organic sales growth of 4.2 per cent fell short of its target for a third consecutive year as it battled against spluttering economies, tumbling prices and a health scare in India that hit sales of its Maggi noodles.

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Be warned

Posted on June 27, 2016June 27, 2016 By admin

As a clear indication of all the ducks given today, I am wearing my insanity prawn t-shirt.

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150 years of Nestle

Posted on June 26, 2016 By admin

Last Friday, Nestle threw an intimate little gathering for its Swiss employees. All of them. They closed *all* of the Swiss production lines for one day to ensure that people could come. Between 8000 and 9000 people showed up at the Palais de Beaulieu, in Lausanne. Everything was catered: transport from all over Switzerland, locally sourced food and beer/wine, and a full roster of Swiss performers. I left early, because I was starting to feel crappy (ended up with a full-blown case of man flu over the weekend) but apparently it was a blast.

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Me@Work today

Posted on June 24, 2016 By admin

cat-whatamidoing

meeting-notes

myjpbiscrushingmysoul

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