Posts Tagged “dealing with idiots”

Another bunch of fucktards decided to follow an ideology of hatred and kill a bunch of people out for a walk or a drink. This will do nothing for their goals, except playing into the hands of equally small minded, angry people on the other side. 

It’s tragic in its futility. It’s infuriating that people are using this senseless act to try and push their own agenda. You have this coming from the Muppet-in-Chief of the US:

And then you have the PM trying to say, See? See? I told you so! Except her party and government have been in charge and stirring the pot for the last few years. Shit, she has me agreeing with Nigel! FUCKING NIGEL!!! 

A very cynical part of me is wondering if the back channels might have pushed the crazies into acting, so that Boris could flail around and say “Durr! Corbyn won’t protect you against the bad people” and Theresa could act all strong and stable. 

The only thing preventing me from going down that road is that the current government is full of muppets who don’t have two neurons to connect together across the whole lot of them.

From twitter:

Donald was a curious child,
His hands were small, his hair was wild,
His face was orange like the sun,
He liked to make up words for fun.

But the curiousest thing of all,
A thing so bigly, yet so small,
The little chap had no control,
Of where his fingers chose to stroll.

Where’er he went, his palms would itch,
His tiny digits start to twitch,
They simply just could not resist,
Pressing that and squeezing this

Donald’s riches were untold,
He was obsessed with all things gold.
He lived atop a golden tower,
And loved to take a golden shower.

But Donald wasn’t satisfied
He stomped his feet and cried and cried,
He pulled a face and sucked his thumb,
He even made the Pope look glum

Everyone the small boy met,
Bemoaned his lack of etiquette,
Tall, short, old, young, slim or fat,
They all cried,
“Donald, DON’T DO THAT!”

Keen to stem his groping habit,
Don’s mother thought to buy a rabbit,
And so one Tuesday off they set,
To Mr Melnik’s World of Pets . .

But soon as he ran thru the door
There came a most almighty roar
Of grunts, barks, squawks and squeaking
(He wasn’t good at public speaking)

He rang the budgies’ tiny bells
Prised the turtles from their shells
He didn’t care, wasn’t fussy
He stroked each puppy, grabbed each pussy

‘Out!’ the owner reprimanded,
And so the boy left empty-handed,
Aside from fur clumps and, I fear,
A very tiny piece of ear.

Leaving Melnik and his critters,
Suffering from ticks and jitters,
And also, thanks to our marauder,
Post-traumatic stress disorder.

But there was one place, I recall,
Where Donald acted worst of all,
The boy just wasn’t made for schools,
He simply couldn’t follow rules!

He had no tact, he had no filter
His social skills were out of kilter
The only thing he knew to do
Was yell and yell till class was through

In fact the only friend he had,
Was a strange young fella name of Vlad,
Who drank vodka and Tabasco sauce,
Bare-chested on the rocking horse

Young Donald couldn’t see the harm,
In setting off the fire alarm,
(That naughty little trouble glutton,
Could not resist a big red button)

And when the school had congregated,
In the playground, agitated
Once five minutes had expired,
He’d jump and yell ‘You’ve all been fired!’

It may be true that Donald tried,
To be upright and dignified,
But sad to say, the proverb stands,
The Devil makes work for tiny hands.

Try and try as best he might,
Poor Donald simply couldn’t write,
His teacher stared in disbelief,
When he spelled coverage ‘covfefe’!

Young Donald built a wall one day,
To keep the Mexicans at bay,
But when he said ‘Call me El Jefe!’
They stuck the bricks up his #covfefe.

Making trouble was a cinch,
For the little orange grinch,
He ran with scissors, tugged girls’ hair,
His tiny hands were everywhere!

When Donald set his school aflame,
The fire chief asked who was to blame.
He said, “I cannot tell a lie,
It must have been the FBI.”

Though Donald never touched the booze,
He believed in aliens and Fox News,
Santa, Bigfoot, all things strange
Everything but climate change!

Donald blew his vast resources
On cheeseburgers and new golf courses.
Cash that would be better spent
On meds and anger management.

“Oh Donald!” cried his mother sadly,
“How did you do quite so badly?”
“It’s all lies!” was his retort,
“It must be a fake school report!”

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My therapist and I decided that from now on, when I’m thinking something negative about myself, I’m going to imagine that Donald Trump is saying it, because it’s really easy for me to just tell him to fuck off.

Example:
Trump: “Your thighs are fat.”
Me: “Fuck you and your fucking wall.”

I think we’re onto something here.

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Because it only takes 2 weeks to do anything when you don’t understand what it is you’re doing.

Since when is it OK to have Easter chocolate in stores in December? Easter is 4 months away. We haven’t celebrated bloody new year’s yet!

Also, since when do you need tactical squad policemen with machine guns patrolling in a Leicester shopping centre?? 

Edit: So, apparently, this was planned and reported on.

Armed police to patrol busy places in Leicestershire after terror attacks in Berlin and Turkey.

Armed police officers are to patrol crowded places in Leicestershire over the Christmas period following several terrorist attacks in Europe.

The operation, which began at 7am this morning and will run until lunchtime on January 3, 2017, aims to minimise the risk to the public from a terrorist attack and provide people with a greater sense of reassurance.

A police spokeswoman said an assessment of the threat from international terrorism has not changed and remains classified as “severe”, and there is no specific information or intelligence which suggests an attack in the United Kingdom is imminent.

Chief Superintendent Ian Howick, said: “Far from alarming the public, the purpose of this change in approach is to achieve precisely the opposite – to provide greater reassurance.

“There is no specific threat to the East Midlands, but recent events elsewhere in the world have led to a change in what the public in Britain expect and want from their local police. The purpose of this change is to further minimise the risk to public and staff in and around crowded / busy public places from a terrorist attack, and to provide the public with a greater sense of reassurance by increasing our visible presence.”

So, security theatre, then.

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Download (PDF, Unknown)

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… if it wasn’t for those blasted liberal kids and their biased facts.