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The beaver is a proud and noble animal

The beaver is a proud and noble animal

Notes from a bemused canuck

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*Insert scream of primal fury here*

Posted on July 1, 2004 By admin

Well, it is now official. There is an Ikea god and he hates my guts.

I swear I'm going to sacrifice some swedish meatballs next time I go there, because this is just FUCKING NUTS! I went there tonight to get my kitchen table. I checked the stock availability in the afternoon – all was hunky-dory.

Get there, and of course, they're OUT OF STOCK! Bunch of [This portion censored for foul language]. Grrrr. This is the 4th time out of 5 consecutive ikea trips that the stuff I want isn't there. And this time, I can't even bitch that I hadn't checked online – because I did – and look where that got me.

So anyway, there's not a lot I can do at this point. It seems that the home gods in general are angry with me, because Brault&Martineau pulled a fast one on me too. They don't have my dryer in stock either. At least I'll have the washing machine this weekend.

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Sam Vimes could parallel process. Most husbands can. They learn to follow their own line of thought while at the same time listening to what their wives say. And the listening is important, because at any time they could be challenged and must be ready to quote the last sentence in full. A vital additional skill is being able to scan the dialogue for telltale phrases such as "and they can deliver it tomorrow" or "so I've invited them for dinner?" or "they can do it in blue, really quite cheaply."
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