Announcer: And now for his explanation of the national debt, here's the man who put stuffing in “get stuffed”, Jock McBile.
On monday, Paul Martin brings down a budget that he hopes will reduce our debt. Forget it Paul, the only way we can cover our national debt is for everybody in Canada to die tomorrow and leave their RRSPs to the government. We'll get the government out of the hole even if it'll put us down one. Now how do you get in this state? Well, Jocks's going to tell you.
Our story opens in 1968. We got a bachelor Prime Minister. Draught beer is 25 cents and the national debt is about 17 billion dollars. At that point, if we all chipped in 800$ a head, we could have nipped it in the bud. Now by 1973, it's more than doubled to 40 billion. A few have started to point in out, but Trudeau is not taking that lying down.
[Video clip of Trudeau] “This is what I call the politics of fear. The Conservative politics. We're heading for the hungry 30s. Why say that?”
Well, maybe because it was true! Only we called them the hungry 90s! Now in 5 years the debt has jumped to 60 billion. And then in 1979, a saviour appears. Now lets see what he has in mind.
[Video clip of Joe Clark] “This will be a different kind of deficit. It'll be a 'stimulative deficit'. that will cause people to go out and do things.”
Aye, like go out and vote Trudeau right back into power. Now, when Trudeau comes back, he starts making all the right noises.
[Video clip of Trudeau, with voice over from Jock] “I realize that these news policies must not be financed by increased government spending” Och, great planning lad!
“We shall be proposing reductions in both our expenditures and in our taxes” Och, way to go!
“The role of the government will be 'Deliver more, for less'” FANTASTIC!
Especially from the man who took the debt from 17 billion to 170 billion!
“What an incredible distance we've traveled together” *smug look* You can say that again!
Now by 1984, the deficit is up to 200 billion, when in arrives, “The White Night”.
[Video clip of Mulroney] “Now we have to exercise an unprecedented degree of prudence and frugality in the use of taxpayers' money.”
Now doesn't that sound good? Now I want you to listen to what Mulroney says about the debt while you watch what he does about it.
[Mulroney talks while graph of debt rises continuously] We have placed on the backs of Canada's youth (250 billion) – your kids and mine – (300 billion) a mortgage so big and overwhelming, that not one of them is young enough (350 billion) to live long enough to begin paying off the interest on the debt (400 billion). I say that's unfair to young canadians (500 billion) and we must assume our share of responsibility (550 billion) by dealing with that deficit burden right now (off the scale!).”
Ah haa! Now in politics, that's called “not letting the left hand know what the right buttock is doing!”. Nevertheless, I'll say this for him. He always had a sympathetic ear for his critics.
[Video clip of Mulroney] “If they have better ideas, they can bloody well tell us what they are!”
Well, we bloody well did and you bloody well didn't listen. Which is why today you're bloody well an outcast!
Now, for the past 18 months, we've had Chretien and the Martin show, and that deficit has now slowed down. It's now 550 billion. That's 18,500 dollars per person. And if you add in provincial and city debt, it is 74,000 dollars per person!
Now you say, “Is there any good news in this, Jock?” and I say “Aye! It's canadian money!”
I love the Air Farce.