Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can’t believe this shit!
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don’t work.
Capitalism: That’s MY shit.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can’t live without us…
Christian Science: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Commercialism: Let’s package this shit.
Communism: It’s everybody’s shit.
Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit happens.”
Creationism: God made all shit.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Episcopalian: It’s not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Existentialism: Shit doesn’t happen; shit IS.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Idolism: Let’s bronze this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Jehovah’s Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Narcisism: I am the shit!
Nihilism: No shit.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Taoism: Shit happens.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?