Katy went bursar last night, and I have no dried frog pills.
I've never actually seen anybody go from manic laughter to crying before, and that freaked me out. Big time. I don't think I handled it well either. It just completely caught me off guard.
Things were going well too, I don't know where this is coming from. Her last car accident really shook something loose in her, because she's been off-kilter ever since.
She's always tired, she's really REALLY touchy, and… its hard dealing with it, of letting things slide when she's snippy at me. I know she doesn't mean it, and that she's not at her best. But sometimes I just wish that she'd remember that I'm not responsible for this and I'm on her side.
I don't know what to do to help her deal with her worries. I try and get her to talk trhough it – while at the same time worrying I'm prying and/or pushing her too much – and all she can tell me is that she doesn't know why she feels happy and sad at the same time and can't decide which one it is, or why.
I know this will sound extremely selfish, but I'm also tired fo having to be the solid, dependable one. I can't have a bad day, or feel crappy about things, because it seems that I have to be happy for both of us. Do you know how it feels to be told “I need you to tell me happy things”? Sometimes I feel like I'm balancing on a tightrope.
I want my old sweetie back, the one who's happy and horny and has energy and laughs for the fun of it.
