I told myself today that I would walk to work with my arms bare and my head held high. I told myself that I would not fear the flying insects from hell.
So just to spite me, the universe had a laugh and I got buzzed at the back gate of the EBI and let out a little girl squeek.
I don't know why I'm so scared of flying insects, or where it came from. From my sessions with a phobia therapist, I've kind of come to the conclusion that part of my fear is because my allergies have gone rather haywire in recent years, and I don't know if I'll die if I get stung. I'm starting to wonder if that's all of it though. Rationally, the fear of pain can't be the reason I'm afraid of flying insects because, I'm not afraid of needles and, well, I've literally had my skin pierced a gajillion times in the course of getting my tattoos. Furthermore, I always carry enough allergy medication that I could probably swim in garlic and poison ivy and be ok.
I've also come to the conclusion that the trigger is the high-pitched buzzing noise. I'm forcing myself to go out more. When I'm cutting the grass, apparently I'm surrounded by bees and I don't flinch (mostly because I don't see them and can't hear them, so that may not count).
I don't know.
I just want to be able to enjoy summer like normal people.
slowly, slowly.
and on the subject of lawn mowing, we'll have to do it one evening next week. as we have no where to put the cuttings until the bin gets emptied.
(http://livejournal.com/users/petkatyyazzick)
hokay. then we really have a relaxing weekend in front of us then :)
(http://livejournal.com/users/talisker)