Cashtration: The act of making a large purchase which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole
Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very,very high
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web..
Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
Flabbergasted: Appalled, by discovering how much weight one has gained.
Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.
Balderdash: A rapidly receding hairline.
Oyster: A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.