Month: January 2019

[recipe] Thai green curry

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For the Green Curry Paste

1 stalk lemongrass (thinly sliced, or 3 tablespoons frozen prepared lemongrass)
1/4 can coconut milk
1 to 3 Thai green chilies (or jalapeño)
1 cup fresh coriander (packed, leaves & stems)
1 shallot (chopped)
1 to 2 inch piece galangal (or ginger, sliced)
1 tablespoon soy sauce
Juice of one lime (fresh)
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
1/2 teaspoon ground white pepper
1 teaspoon brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt

For the Remainder of the Dish

1 to 2 tablespoons olive oil
4 chicken breasts, sliced thinly
1/2 to 3/4 cup vegetable stock
2 to 3 kaffir lime leaves
3/4 can coconut milk
1 red bell pepper (chopped into bite-size pieces)
1 cup sugar snap peas
1 cup mushrooms, diced
1/2 head of broccoli, prepared into florets

Place all green curry paste ingredients in a food processor or blender and blitz to create a fragrant green curry paste (you may need to add more coconut milk if using a blender). To make the sauce by hand: Mince and stir all sauce ingredients together in a bowl, or use a pestle and mortar to mash dry ingredients followed by liquid ingredients. Set aside.

Place a wok or large frying pan over medium-high heat. Add 1 to 2 tablespoons oil and swirl around, then add all the green curry paste you just made. Stir-fry 1 minute to release the fragrance.

Add the chicken. Stir-fry until well saturated with sauce. Add vegetables and stir-fry.

Add the stock plus lime leaves (if using). Stir and reduce heat to medium-low. Gently simmer 5 minutes.

Add the coconut milk and continue simmering 5 to 7 minutes, or until softened.

Remove curry from heat and taste test for salt and spice. If not salty enough, add a sprinkle more salt. If too salty for your taste, add another squeeze of lime juice. If too spicy, add more coconut milk. If you’d like it sweeter, add a little more sugar.

Serve directly out of the wok, or transfer to a serving bowl. Sprinkle over fresh Thai basil (slice larger leaves into shreds). Sliced red chili can also be used as a topping, or to add more spice.

Serve with plenty of plain rice.

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[recipe] Pineapple habanero salsa

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150g Pineapple, drained and sliced
1-2 Habanero Chiles minced
1/3 Red Onion, diced
1/3 Red Bell Pepper, diced fine dice
Handful Coriander, chopped
1 Lime, juiced
Salt & Pepper, to taste

Heat a nonstick skillet over medium heat and add your pineapple. You want to caramelize the natural sugar in the pineapple but not burn it. Just pay a little attention here. After 3-4 minutes when you have a nice golden color flip and repeat with the other side. In the mean time go ahead and prep your other ingredients.

Once the pineapple has caramelized remove from heat, let cool & dice.

Place all ingredients in a bowl, squeeze your lime juice, add a pinch of salt and pepper, give a gentle mix so all is incorporated evenly.

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Well color me impressed 

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The camera on my phone broke. The autofocus wouldn’t engage – it’s a known issue. I bought a repair kit from AliExpress for 15chf. The phone is out of warranty, so I figured I could take a punt at self-repair and if all else failed, I’d buy a new phone. Otherwise, I could do a factory reset, ship the phone to the UK, pay parts and labour, and wait for god knows how long before I’d get it back.

There are plenty of tutorials on YouTube that make the process look oh-so-simple. They lie. It took 25 minutes just to remove the two €¥©§#¡!!? torx screws that close the case. From there it didn’t get better. Cracking the case open went OK until I forgot to take the SIM card holder out and bent it. Then trying to get the motherboard off was a right mess. Bits actually went sproing! and I bent the motherboard when I didn’t remove a screw not mentioned in the video. I bent the motherboard. At this point, I figured my phone was well and truly borked but I reassembled it (and straightened it) as best I could. I didn’t expect it to boot. It did. WiFi, antenna, BT, all work (so far). Camera works. I… am kinda in shock actually. I just keep thinking the thing’ll HCF at some point, but for now, kudos to Oneplus.

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The UK is in a world of shit

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So. Plan A for brexit got shot down in flames. Plan B needs to be proposed by next Monday. Except no one knows what really happens if it doesn’t happen. There is currently no possibility of a workable plan B. The government needs to pull a miracle out of its ass (instead of the usual shit), but EU27 have said that they’re not going to reopen negotiations. I just spent 10 minutes listening to a senior Tory minister deftly avoiding answering very direct questions on “what could you possibly get as a concession from Europe that could negate the biggest parliamentary defeat in recorded history” and “you’ve been ‘listening’ to the MPs for over two years now, why do you think things will change now”.

There’s a motion of no confidence on the table. It’s not guaranteed to pass. If it doesn’t pass, we’re still in the same shit as we are now. If it does pass, the clock is still ticking while madness ensues for a general election.

Labour could win a general election by promising a 2nd referendum. Except that Corbyn doesn’t want to do that. He thinks that he can negotiate a better deal with EU27. Except I’m pretty certain that he can’t, and then we’re back to square -1.

In other words, everything is fine.

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21 years ago, on this day, I was probably not sober

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As the ice storm hit, I was still working at the lab. The sidewalks were so covered in ice, I fell on my back and slid pretty much the whole length of Drummond, ending up in the middle of Dr Penfield drive (with oncoming traffic goodness). When the lights went off a couple of days later, downtown was a mess. Sheet ice was sliding off buildings and crashing down on the sidewalks. I remember how quiet is was, apart from the random shots of cracking ice. That, and the army trucks coming in.

A bunch of us… I forget exactly who now… ended up at Khaled and Paul’s apartment – they still had electricity because of their proximity to Ste Justine hospital. I remember we were 9 people in a 4 bedroom flat. I ended up sharing a sofa bed with Joanne, the new tenant who was moving in on that day, but had no furniture. It was surreal. God bless her, she completely took it on her stride. It turned into a continuous party. I didn’t sober up for a week. People would wake you up for a wake-and-bake. When the power came back on, we stayed there for another couple of days, for the fun of it. When I went back home, the worst thing was cleaning out my fridge, where everything had defrosted and spoiled. The smell… The horror… The horror.

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Rowley Birkin, QC

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When I was working at the EBI, a former colleague introduced me to The Fast Show, a BBC comedy sketch show program that ran in the 90s. It was one of the most popular sketch shows of its time in the UK. The show’s central performers were Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson, Simon Day, Mark Williams, John Thomson, Arabella Weir and Caroline Aherne. One of its recurring characters was Rowley Birkin QC, played by Paul Whitehouse.

Sozzled, rambling old barrister, Rowley Birkin QC, sits in his chair and spins yarns of foreign adventures, mysterious women and exotic beasts, attended only by his equally ancient butler. During his nonsensical mutterings you can make out the occasional phrase – ‘took it off below the knee’… ‘a rather striking mustache’… ‘SNAKE, SNAKE!’… ‘Her husband had been entombed in ice. Like this.’… and of course, ‘I’m afraid that I was very, very drunk’.


“Johnny! Johnny Ludlow!” Hahaha… [rambles] …terrible flatulence… [rambles] …you see?… [rambles] …the whole thing was made completely out of rubber… [rambles; make bubbling noises] …in fact, we communicated the whole time with sign language… [rambles] …a rather striking moustache… [rambles] …wow! you see?… [rambles] …you know, you can actually drive one of those cars, on three wheels!… [rambles] …I’m afraid I was very drunk.


Cairo!… [emits a high pitch squeak; rambles] …very unstable, politically, pandimonium!… [rambles; then mimes pushing through tall grass and gestures above him] …a poisonous monkey… [rambles] …very small chaps, but immensely strong… [rambles] …hah! like that. It was a completely wasted journey… [rambles] …Snake! Snake! Aah! Brrr! Gin!… [rambles; mimes holding something] …lift the thing up, I didn’t know what to do… [rambles] …I made a dreadful hash of his arm, I really did… [rambles] …I freely admit, that I was very, very drunk.


Vast ice floes… [rambles] …there he was, staring at me, six foot eight if he was an inch… [rambles] …the whole thing was made out of matchsticks… [rambles] …I laugh now… [rambles] …image of a four star Nazi General, licking a lollipop… [rambles] …I was feeling a little liverish… [rambles] …he punched me right on the nose… [rambles] …I didn’t feel a thing, I’m afraid, I was very drunk.


It happens to every young man, I’m sure… [quietly rambles] …she was a really beautiful woman and I … [rambles] …she had a very long neck… …very intelligent… …really piercing eyes… …of course, the war came along… that was it really between us… …really beautiful song: la la la, I can’t remember anymore… …I was in absolute floods of tears… …it was very, very cold, and… …and I held her in my arms… [stares silently at the camera] …I’m afraid I was very drunk.


Bang!.. right up the arse… [coughy rambling] …now did I ever tell you what happened to me in nineteen hundred and [rambles] she was saddest woman… the tallest woman I’ve ever met… her husband had been entombed in ice, like this [mimes being stuck in ice, rambles] …we’d been cut off by a terrific snow storm… …extremely cold, and we were plunged in total darkness… [rambles] … we head what sounded like a child’s voice like this… mamma mamma mamma mamma mamma mamma… [rambles]… closer and closer it came… [rambles] … she arched her back and scuttled across the room like a giant spider… [rambles] … she opened her mouth to spit… [rambles, butler arrives with a drink]… bugger off… [rambles]… it may have been a ghost… [rambles]… I’m afraid I was very, very drunk at the time


At the time, I was still a… [rambles] …like a giant marshmallow… [rambles] …fingerless gloves, very sensual… [rambles] …just off St Alexander’s Square, you know, behind the chocolate shop… [rambles] …the head became completely detached… [rambles; makes bubbling noises] …we always felt like we were being watched, like that… [rambles] …I went completely cross-eyed… [crosses his eyes] …I can’t do it now… [rambles] …I mean, you must have been there, oh you must go, it’s quite, quite, quite, quite beautiful… [rambles] …lorry load of interesting cheeses… [rambles] …there is no art to find the minds construction of the face, mmm… [rambles] …and then they made their burrows in rotten wood… [rambles] …a face like a mad baboon and an arse to match… [rambles; moves his arms as if running] …shoot him, you fool!… …I didn’t hear any of it of course, I’m afraid, I was very, very drunk.


[rambles]… in Shanghai! Shanghai!… [rambles] …stamp out piracy… …I was quite flummoxed by an outrageous cat… [rambles] …it was a Chinese warlord by the name of … [rambles] …I’m a very considerate lover… [rambles] …the most interesting about them is that there’s a permanent tap to the gall bladder of these bears… [rambles] …it was swollen to twice its usual size… hahahahaha… the surgeon with sandy hair, obviously homosexual… [rambles] …but I liked him… [rambles] …took it off below the knee… [rambles] the schock like uuuuhhhh… …jabbering on and on, ha!, made no difference to me, I’m afraid I was very drunk.


[rambles]… lazy things in your brain… [rambles] …the women there are absolutely sex-mad… [rambles] …I managed to drain the wound into a tin cup… [rambles, mimes using a blow dart] …right there, right in the neck… [rambles] …pierced labia… [rambles] …by Jingo, I mean as I’d married three of them, haha… [rambles] …then they made me their chief… [rambles] …the witch doctor never liked me… he was forever burying his… [rambles] …I realized I made a terrible faux-pas in their culture, ohhh… [rambles] …I bluffed my way out… they chased me over several weeks… [rambles] …was very surprised they didn’t catch me because I was absolutely smashed on poisonous frogs.


[snoring] six breasts! … [rambles, snoring] … completely covered in hair… don’t point that thing at me, she said, and then she came… [rambles] …blew my head off… [rambles, snoring] …penicillin… [snoring]


[rambles, playing the piano]… absolutely incredible suction… [rambles, playing the piano] …yes, haha… [rambles, playing the piano] …have yourselves a merry little Christmas, let your… [rambles, playing the piano] …next year all our troubles will be out of sight… [rambles, playing the piano] …I think that she must have misheard me because she brought me a bucket full of ankles… [rambles, playing the piano] …Chestnuts roasting on a open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your… [rambles, playing the piano] …it takes me back to my time in Anchorage with Stevie Wonder… [rambles, playing the piano] …so I’m offering this simple phrase to kids from one to ninety-two. Although it’s been said, many times, many ways… [rambles, playing the piano] …ahahahahaha… [rambles, playing the piano] …Although it’s been said, many times, many ways, once you actually break through the crust, all that was left was this foul jelly… [rambles, playing the piano] …Although it’s been said, many times, many ways, I’m afraid I was very, very drunk.

2020 Covid Update!!!

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