The beaver is a proud and noble animal
Notes from a bemused canuck
1kg celery, sliced
2 white onions, sliced
750ml white vinegar
750ml brown sugar, loosely packed
30ml/6tsp mustard seed
30ml/6tsp celery seed
10ml/2tsp grated ginger
7.5ml/1.5tsp turmeric
Bring vinegar and sugar to the boil. Add spices. Boil again. Steep celery and onions in hot vinegar for 20 minutes. Strain and keep liquid. Put solids in mason jars. Reduce liquid by half, then cover solids with reduction. Store in the fridge.
Free child given to a good home. Or even to an OK home. If drama persists, child will be given to first caller.
Our trip started out with us all in good spirits. As expected, that didn’t last, but that’s another story. The flights were uneventful, except that I broke my cardinal rule of air travel and didn’t pack a lunch. The child, who could eat the meal choice that would have caused me pain and discomfort, didn’t like it and ended up eating half of the only thing I could eat (and then proceeded to rave about it for the rest of the flight). We landed, got our bags, and then had a “yes, we’re back in Montréal” cab ride to our airbnb. Let’s just say the cabbie was a bit high strung…
The apartment was in the mile end. Great location, perfect on paper. In real life… it was someone’s flat, with a very particular bohemian-chic decor and a door lock that could have been defeated by a sharp sneeze. I couldn’t have lived there full-time without needing to rebuild the whole flat from the ground up and fix everything that gave it “character”. But whatever, we only needed it for a bed and a toilet and both were perfectly serviceable. The location, however as mentioned, was great. We were a stones throw away from St-viateur bagel, several good coffee shops, a breakfast place where I had a breakfast poutine, and a gin bar where they make their own tonic water and where we had a superb ploughman’s lunch.
We did our usual Montréal things: Reubens, Ming Tao Xuan, Eggspectation, etc. etc. We went to the Cirka gin distillery with Michel and Christina, then spent a lovely afternoon on the St-Ambroise beer garden swapping stories, then carried on over an izakaya-style japanese dinner (and more cocktails).
We met up with Sara and Em, our favourite not-married old married couple and caught up with all the major life events we missed over the last few years.
The last day in Montréal, we walked in the Village before taking the bus to Ottawa and talked about how the city has changed since we were last here (seems like there’s been a nutter explosion and club Super Sex closed down!!!!) and how much we’ve been spoilt with the view of the lake, the mountains and all the greenery in Morges.
Les distilleries artisanales se multiplient au Québec, ce qui fait renaître le métier de goûteur d’alcool, qui n’existe plus dans les distilleries industrielles qui font confiance aux machines.
Isabelle Rochette, distillatrice de production chez Cirka à Montréal, doit goûter la vodka à des étapes bien précises, afin d’éviter d’embouteiller les mauvais alcools produits en début et en fin de processus.
«Au début, c’est de l’acétone qui est produite, un alcool toxique qui donne mal à la tête. Je dois donc goûter aux deux minutes environ pour détecter quand survient le bon alcool, l’éthanol, et commencer à le recueillir», explique Mme Rochette.
Dans les distilleries industrielles, ce processus est confié à une machine, ce qui laisse passer une certaine quantité de mauvais alcool. C’est pour s’assurer d’une qualité de produit irréprochable que les distilleries artisanales recommencent à confier ces tâches aux humains.
«Rendu à la fin de la distillation, c’est encore plus délicat et je dois parfois goûter aux 30 secondes, car un litre d’alcool de queue suffit à ruiner une production de vodka», dit Isabelle Rochette.
Puisqu’elle ne goûte qu’avec le bout de son doigt, la distillatrice ne craint ni l’ivresse ni les maladies de foie.
«C’est un métier multisensoriel. J’observe aussi la texture et la sensation de chaleur de l’alcool», dit-elle. Une appréciation que l’humain fait mieux que la machine, selon elle.
Isabelle Rochette doit aussi goûter le gin pendant sa distillation afin de s’assurer de retirer les aromates utilisés pour le parfumer, baies de genièvre et autres épices, avant qu’ils ne libèrent leur amertume.
«C’est en distillant qu’on devient distillateur», dit Mme Rochette, qui a appris les bases de son métier de goûteuse en étudiant la sommellerie et sous la tutelle de Paul Cirka, maître-distillateur.
Avec l’industrie qui se met en place, les occasions de formation se multiplient pour ceux qui veulent apprendre le métier.
Written, illustrated and edited by Oliver Benjamin, the founder of Dudeism, The Tao of the Dude is an essential resource for practicing Dudeists to keep their minds limber and avoid uptight thinking.
Each chapter features thought-provoking introductory essays which discuss how each topic is realized in The Big Lebowski and in other works of art and philosophy, followed by a carefully edited collection of passages and quotes culled from a wide variety of sources throughout history.
The Tao of the Dude addresses various subjects near and dear to the Dudeist heart, such as conflict (“This Aggression Will Not Stand”), leisure (“Just Take it Easy Man”) and tolerance (“That’s Just, Like, Your Opinion, Man”). Featuring luminaries such as Bertrand Russell, Lao Tzu, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Kurt Vonnegut and many many more, this manifesto makes it plain that Dudeism is a creed that has existed down through the generations, across the sands of time.
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
Ben goes to cooking camp. Ben becomes BFF with camp dog. All the kids get the chance to send pictures from camp. Other kids send pictures of the food they made or things they’ve done at camp. Ben sends pictures of the dog. Oddly, this doesn’t surprise us at all.
Prepare to see lots of this in the next two weeks.
The Hand has been collecting politically incorrect Dad jokes with which to better torture Katy. Some favourites so far :
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-a-likes.
What drives a lesbian up the wall?
A crack in the ceiling.
What’s the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker?
One’s a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.
What do lesbians need in order to get married?
A licker license.
What do you call a lesbian sharpshooter?
A crack shot.
What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
Klondike.
What do you call three lesbians in a closet?
A licker cabinet.
What do you call an Irish lesbian?
Gaylick.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A Lickalotopus