Category: uncategorized
Christmas quotes
Go choose the wine… but don’t take the barolo.
*puts on head torch and goes spelunking in the pantry*
OK, I have wine.
*inspects choices*
We’ve had all of these, go get the barolo.
You asked me to get the wine, I got wine!
OK. But this one is too young. Drink the old ones first…oh,this one is good, it’s 15%!
*puts back half the bottles I’d selected*
I need a bigger house!
No, cause then you’ll end up with another kitchen.
The hand is in dad joke heaven
The hand is enjoying torturing granddad with gems like this:
Who don’t crabs share their food? Because they’re shellfish!
Have you heard about the secret cheese society? The Hallouminati!
Nigel and Donald
Nigel and Donald, the two biggest tits of 2016 about to get roasted.
Santa could be barred from UK after Brexit
Changes to Britain’s immigration system after it leaves the European Union may stop Santa Claus from making his annual festive flying visit, it has emerged. Santa currently uses European freedom of movement rights to fly his sleigh from Lapland into British skies to conduct his annual delivery business.
However, with Britain leaving the EU, the jolly old man is likely to face the same immigration curbs as other Laplanders in future. Work permits are expected to be introduced, and legal experts warn that the tradition of parents providing a glass of sherry and a mince pie in return for Santa leaving presents by the fireplace constitutes an informal work arrangement – thereby making it impossible for the iconic figure to gain permission to enter the country without the correct paperwork.
Any attempt to make deliveries without permission from the immigration authorities could see Santa arrested, according to legal experts. UKIP leader Nigel Farage said, “This is just another example of a foreigner coming over here taking the job of a decent hardworking indigenous British national who could easily spend the night delivering presents instead.
“I’ll be delighted to see the end of it.”
Meanwhile, the Sun is investigating claims that hundreds of Laplanders are cheating immigration controls by masquerading as Santa in shopping centres across the country. It has published images it claims to be the real Santa supervising elves back in Lapland in the run up to Christmas while the fake Santas pose for photos with unsuspecting children.
Original story here
This is my happy face
People keep asking me why I always look angry. Thing is, this is my happy face.
Steps from discussion to reconciliation
Have I actually found my mid-life crisis goal?
Heriot-Watt University is offering a distance learning Master’s course in Brewing and Distilling. I’m really, really, really tempted. The only issue, as always, might be the money.
The Programme aims to enable learners to:
• Develop detailed knowledge and understanding of the fundamental subjects and topics which are essential in gaining the broad spectrum of expertise required for malting, brewing and distilling: cereal science and technology, yeast science, microbiology, biochemistry, process technology, business strategies, management, food safety, practical and project skills (malting, brewing and distilling), quality control and quality assurance, flavour assessment, analytical chemistry.
• Develop a sound understanding and knowledge of policy, legislation, ethical, health and safety issues of concern as they relate to the design, manufacture, marketing and sale of alcoholic drinks and for the raw materials, processing aids, by-products and wastes of the industry.
• Develop specialist knowledge of the malting, brewing, fermentation, processing, distillation, maturation, packaging and distribution process stages in the production of alcoholic drinks.
• Develop knowledge and understanding of the methods and research skills for investigating new and existing problem areas in malting, brewing and distilling, so that the ability is acquired to conduct independent research and to solve problems.
• Develop knowledge and understanding of the business environment pertaining to malting, brewery and distillery companies including the main areas of strategic planning, operations management, organisational structure, human resources management, marketing, finance, intellectual property and due diligence.
• Diagnose attributes and defects in alcoholic drinks.
Me with python development
As a long-time java developer, I’m now transitioning to python. It’s amusing to get something working while simultaneously having no real clue what you’re doing :)
Please keep your applause until the end
