Not content with having decapitated several ikea nightlights, a fur brush and a pair of wii controllers, Pavel has now graduated to trying to hunt and eat Katy’s rubber ducks.
Category: uncategorized
When I die, I want strippers!
China Plans Crackdown on Funeral Strippers
The Chinese Ministry of Culture is preparing an attack on the habit of inviting strippers to funerals in the country, a move intended to bolster the apparent popularity of the deceased by ensuring more people turn up to mourn. The practise is rooted in cultural reasons, apparently, with superstitions believing that a well attended funeral is more likely to mean a successful spot in the afterlife for the deceased, even if all attendees are stifling erections while completely unaware of who the dead person in the box is.
Boy with icecream
Respect the planning phase
Well, that’ll take a while
I’ve just sent off the paperwork to renew Bean’s English passport and that got me thinking about the paperwork to register him as a Canadian citizen, which never got sent off for various reasons. Looking at the website now:
Processing of routine applications for Canadian citizenship currently takes up to 12 to 15 months. The initial processing takes place at the Canadian High Commission. Original documentation submitted with an application is returned to the applicant after the initial processing in London (6 to 8 weeks). The application is then forwarded to the Registrar of Canadian Citizenship in Sydney, Nova Scotia. Forward planning is strongly recommended as processing can sometimes take as long as two years
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Thanks, Harper.
Words that must be added to the English dictionary
Afterclap (n) the last person who claps after everyone else has stopped
Askhole (n) someone who asks many stupid, pointless, or obnoxious questions
Bedgasm (n) a feeling of euphoria experienced when climbing into bed at the end of a very long day
Beerboarding (v) extracting secret information from a colleague by getting them drunk
Celfish (adj) An individual who continues talking on their phone so as to be rude or inconsiderate of other people
Chairdrobe (n) a pile of clothes left on a chair in place of a closet or dresser; see also floordrobe
Dopplebanger (n) a person who has sexual intercourse with someone that looks identical to them but is not related
Dudevorce (n) when two bros officially end their friendship (opp. bromance)
Errorist (n) someone who repeatedly makes mistakes, or is always wrong
Internest (n) the cocoon of blankets and pillows you gather around yourself whilst spending long periods of time on the internet
Masturdating (v) going out alone to a movie or a restaurant
Nonversation (n) a completely worthless conversation; small talk
Texpectation (n) the anticipation felt when waiting for a response to a text
Youniverse (n) used to indicate that a person has knowledge only of him or herself; their universe consists only of them
Hitting uncomfortably too close to home
Tulips
#ILOVEMORGES
Missed connection
I tell you, that parrot and I shared a moment of deep… something.
Book quote of the day
