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Katy: come on, it’s time to put a shoe on you.
Foot: I hate you!
Katy: I know, but it has to be done.
Foot: I don’t want to!
Katy: they won’t be new shoes forever
Foot: I hate you more!!

As a follow up to bacon making the Danes happy, Katy and I have come to the conclusion that bacon makes everybody happy, and as such, people who do not eat bacon are fundamentally unhappy. Ergo, conflict between Jews and Muslims.

Prove me wrong!

I came out of the airport in Denmark and there was a sign saying “welcome to the happiest country on earth” and I wondered, why are the Danes so happy…

[Katy heckles:] BACON!

… and the crowd goes wild.

When he misunderstood another heckle with “kick the table”, he went on a 5 minute rant about how that was the most existentialist heckle he’d ever had. There is no table on this stage, and he would I want to kick it?!? The only place it would make sense to say that is when you’re about to cheat a championship Jenga!

Katy and I went to have dinner at Gaucho, an Argentinian steak house. When he wine list come over, I knew I wanted a Malbec. Unfortunately, they had 250 of them. Pro tip when you’re overwhelmed by a wine list: don’t be afraid to ask for advice. I told the lovely wine lady that we wanted something full bodied, spicy but not too tannic within a given price range. Lo and behold, she came back with a few sampler glasses and we ended up with a perfectly lovely bottle of wine (our third for the evening, but that’s another story). Too many people either go for the extremes (cheapest, or most expensive if they want to impress –  which is a losing proposition when there are bottles for several hundreds of pounds on th menu) or stick to names/vintages they know. This way, you can get something you like, for a reasonable price,

Katy quotes :

I’m a bit tipsy. I can’t feel my face anymore.

Oh look,  it’s Ganesh. Oh,  hello wall. Oh, look,  bright lights.

Look. This is me pretending to be sober. Am I pulling it off? Me: No.

In Fortnum & Mason : it’s a shame that they don’t have live lobsters anymore. I should give them a piece of my mind.

Look! It’s vodka! Made from apples! We must get some!