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Category: uncategorized

Louis Walsh has completely lost the plot

Posted on November 9, 2009 By admin

Louis Walsh is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the biggest crackpot I’ve ever seen and it would seem that his tenuous grip on reality is slipping.

The whole “I’m a judge, I’m allowed to have an opinion. You’re not a judge, so shut up” thing with the host of X-factor was already a pile of horseshit, but then he said the same thing to the whole audience – with lovely visuals – after his pair of trained monkeys sang the Ghostbusters tune. Stay classy, Louis.

Seriously. I can understand the financial reasons to keep the twins (I refuse to call them Jedward) on. They cause controversy. It’s like the Howard Stern show in the US. More people who hate the show listen to it than people who actually like Stern. Why? Because they want to hear what he says so that they can complain about it. Same difference here. The idiots are a cash cow. Of course they can’t sing and have no talent. Of course they’re going to be toned down, tuned out, voice-overed and backup-signered to death. It’s still car-crash TV. You know it’s bad, but you can’t help yourself. And that’s why Simon Cowell didn’t vote them off. It’s better for the ratings and therefore his own bottom line in merchandising tie-ins, show tickets, tour tickets, yada yada yada. He knows they’re not going to win, but he’s going to make as much money from them as he can in the process.

Cowell’s motives are based purely in capitalism and greed and I can respect that. Louis firmly believes that they’re good and they can win. For that, he must die!

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Damn you, Orange!

Posted on November 9, 2009 By admin

I’ve been lusting after a SmartPhone for a while now, and until the Android phones get some serious real-world use and reviews, the best money is still on the iPhone, even if it means selling your soul to the devil. I was really looking forward to seeing what Orange would do, price-wise, and if that would start a small price war.

Orange, you’re a bunch of stupid, stupid, stupid wankers.

The Guardian ran an article about the tariff comparisons and, in a nutshell, there is less than a quid’s difference between the two. What’s worse is that Orange, in their usual shoot-yourself-in-the-foot mentality, have decided to put a 750MB data download cap on the contracts. They have later mentioned on the Beeb that they’re “re-thinking” this policy after it caused a small bit of uproar in their potential user base… Idiots.

What’s the deal killer for me though, is that Orange’s terms and conditions for its mobile internet ban applications like Spotify, Facebook and YouTube.

In the company’s T&Cs, it says: “Not to be used for other activities (eg using your handset as a modem, non-Orange internet based streaming services, voice or video over the internet, instant messaging, peer to peer file sharing, non-Orange internet based video). Should such use be detected notice may be given and Network protection controls applied to all services which Orange does not believe constitutes mobile browsing”.

Orange has, however, commented to the BBC – saying: “We do recognise that iPhone customers will use popular streaming services such as YouTube, Spotify etc. As a result we do not intend to apply network protection controls to anyone, as long as they are within their usage allowance. The T&Cs are in place to reserve the right to restrict access should they continue to exceed our Fair Usage policy, and our other Mobile data users suffer a reduced data experience as a result”.

So yeah. That’s my main reason to buy an iPhone gone out the window. And having to rely on the good graces of Orange not to do something terminally stupid? Not going to happen.

*Sigh*

I’ll keep my much-battered LG for now and hope Vodafone have more than two braincells they can spare and/or that Android really takes off.

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How low can you go?

Posted on October 30, 2009 By admin

Wannabes queued up to conceive a baby with a stranger live on air for a £100,000 prize. The show was a spoof, but what does it say about reality TV?

It started as a challenge – to come up with the ultimate tasteless reality TV show and test the boundaries of the format. But in just eight weeks, “Let’s Make a Baby” came dangerously close to becoming a real show. Hundreds of reality TV hopefuls jammed the phone lines when the show advertised for contestants, and TV channels from all over the world offered vast sums of money to buy the rights to the series.

“Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine we would get that far with such little effort,” says the programme’s producer and director, Helen Sage.

The undercover experiment was for BBC Three’s current affairs series Mischief. The programme’s makers came up with the most “tasteless and morally dubious” idea they could, and a fake production company to sell it. Let’s Make a Baby would centre around contestants – all strangers – living in a “fertility house”, with the least attractive being voted out each week. The remaining two couples would then have a race to conceive a child and win £100,000 each.

The idea was first pitched to focus groups, all of which agreed it was morally questionable but said they would watch it. “It’s completely offensive,” said one group member. “Would I watch it? Yes.”

More than 200 people – including a gay man who was up for the challenge of trying to have sex with a female – applied to be a contestant. They were not told the show was a fake until after the auditions. Real reality stars also bought into the idea of the show. Makosi Musambasi and Craig Coates from Big Brother 6 agreed to host it.

Finally, a party was put on at Europe’s biggest TV sales fair in Cannes to pitch the fake idea to TV channels from all over the world and test their reaction. Disturbingly, it created a real buzz and several offers came in. “As a TV producer, I was really interested in the question of how low my industry would go in its bid to attract viewers and attention, the answer is very low indeed,” says Ms Sage.

Professor David Wilson, who walked out as a consultant on Big Brother for ethical reasons, says the premise of Let’s Make a Baby is morally repugnant and all about cheapening life, but he is not surprised that it attracted so much interest. “Reality TV is not only reinventing the freak show, it’s about bedlam,” he says. “It’s the TV equivalent of slowing down to get a better look at the accident on the other side of the motorway. It’s about getting a view of other people’s misery.

“Those who take part are considered odd or bizarre for wanting to do so, but they are merely products of a society that now holds fame above anything else. All cultural reference points are now rooted in being a celebrity, and not attached to having an intrinsic skill.”

He says there should be an independent body to regulate reality TV, and is also critical of the psychologists and other academics who take part in the shows and “endorse the programmes with a fig leaf of credibility”. But the prize of large audiences and the chance of a big reward take over people’s moral compass, says Alan Hayling, head of documentaries at the BBC.

“Very intelligent people are operating in a moral vacuum,” he says. “The moral of the tale of Let’s Make a Baby is, sadly, that it is terribly, terribly easy, over only eight weeks, to show how low reality might go.”

So what is the future of reality TV? Will the public lose its appetite for it, will programme makers get a conscience? Neither, and things could get far more extreme, says Professor Wilson. “The limits of this type of TV are limitless. The other year there was a huge web audience for a film on the net of hostages being beheaded. It is about how deep and depraved our imaginations can go.”

And as for Let’s Make a Baby? A Dutch television company is currently making a reality TV show called I want your baby, not your love. In it, men compete to be the one to donate their sperm to a single woman who wants a baby but not a boyfriend. Not quite the same, but close enough.

Let’s Make a Baby will be broadcast on Thursday 26 January at 2230 GMT on BBC Three.

Source: BBC

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Another nail in the coffin of common sense

Posted on October 29, 2009 By admin

Council bans parents from play areas

Score one for Britain in its contest with the United States to create the stupidest fear-based society. The Watford Borough Council took the lead by banning parents from supervising their own kids in public playgrounds, “because they have not undergone criminal record checks.”

The only adults allowed to monitor the kids are idiocracy-vetted “play rangers.” The children’s parents must “watch from outside a perimeter fence.” A council notice to parents explains that: “Safeguarding the children and young people who use the site is one of our top priorities.

“Due to Ofsted regulations we have a responsibility to ensure that every authorised adult who enters our site is properly vetted and given a Criminal Records Bureau (CRB) check by Watford Borough Council.”

Council Mayor Dorothy Thornhill argued they are merely enforcing government policy at the play areas, in Vicarage Road and Leggatts Way. She said: “Sadly, in today’s climate, you can’t have adults walking around unchecked in a children’s playground and the adventure playground is not a meeting place for adults.

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Massive comic update :D

Posted on October 27, 2009 By admin

I’ve finally been able to update the comic page with stuff I’ve been squirrelling for ages.

Some favourites:

















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Enough cuteness to choke a horse

Posted on October 26, 2009 By admin

More pictures from the weekend.

I took the beastie for a walk on Saturday to give Katy a bit of quiet time at home so she could study. Beastie was just getting over the worst of his fever, so he zonked out as soon as we were mobile.

I just love the BenBen deathgrip he has on his bunny :)

When we got back home, the beastie went down for a nap and when I came back downstairs, I saw that Reen-pig had adopted the bunny for her own.

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A pictorial post

Posted on October 26, 2009October 26, 2009 By admin

The beastie was feeling a lot better yesterday (he’d been running a bit of a fever for the past few days) so we were able to go out and about for a while.

We went to Scottsdales to start buying some Christmas decorations. Yes, I know it’s still early, but we’ve made a deal to not put anything up until Guy Fawkes has passed, and the tree can’t go up until December. Besides, it’s fun and the beastie seems to really enjoy garden centre Christmas displays.

Which brings us to this.


Who the hell thought disembodied, shrunken Santa heads would make for good tree ornaments? I mean, wtf?!?? Just look at the eyes of the one in the first picture. Doesn’t it just say “please, kill me! I beseech you, let this torment end?”

Then, there was this.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Meerkats. I think that Aleksandr Orlov and Compare the Meerkats is one of the best publicity campaigns I’ve seen in a very long time. But what the hell do Meerkats have to do with Christmas???

But there is a happy ending.

The beastie, he is getting very excited about Christmas.

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Birdies!

Posted on October 20, 2009 By admin

From the John Lewis Christmas display.

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Quote of the day

Posted on October 20, 2009 By admin

Setting: Matthieu is back from The Netherlands and brought back some Stroopwafels

Florian: ooooooooooooh!
Me: What are those?
Florian: Stroopwafels.
Me: Oh, damnit.
Florian: What? you can’t eat them?
Me: No, I can, that’s the problem. Those things are evil.
Florian: Now you complain when you can eat stuff?
Me: Yes, you can’t win.
Florian: Next time I’m in Germany, I bring back a teeeny-tiny bit of chocolate you can eat and giant bunch of stuff you can’t, so that way you have something you can eat but you can’t complain about the size of it.
Me: You know you’re evil incarnate, right?
Florian: Yes, and I love it.

uncategorized

Again with the shopping

Posted on October 20, 2009 By admin

Katy and I were in Leicester this past weekend. Katy’s mom officiously retired (she officially retires at the end of this week but had some leave time coming) and she had a little leaving do for 40 or so of her co-workers. Seriously. Scary.

We went to Palmers to check out their Christmas display and I was finally able to buy a pair of Foo dogs for our backyard. HAPPY DANCE! It only took me 6 months to find some. Jaysus. They’re being ordered now and I should have them in a few weeks. Woot!

We did some Christmas recon work to try and find some ornaments that would be nice, yet still be able to survive two cats and a BenBen. We have some good candidates and when the time comes to decorate (and we have a bit of spare cash), we know where to go.

While we were out, we stumbled across this year’s hot fashion accessories. I give you the Elvis sunglasses with extra sideburns and the penguin earmuffs:


We also shopped for a new car seat for the Beastie and some winter coats for him. Right now, I’m looking for some thinsulate fingerless gloves with a mitten flap that will fit him. Does such a thing even exist?

Anybody?

Bueller?

Bueller?

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