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Notes from a bemused canuck

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Category: uncategorized

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Posted on November 27, 2007 By admin

The Japanese Kodo drummers are touring Europe next year. Unfortunately, they're only doing one show in London.

On a Tuesday.

This sucks.

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IT wisdom

Posted on November 26, 2007 By admin

Benford's Law: Passion is inversely proportional to the amount of real information available. (Gregory Benford)

Clarke's First Law: When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong. (Arthur C Clarke)

Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management. (Scott Adams)

Ellison's Law: The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. (Harlan Ellison)

Fisher's Fundamental Theorem: The more highly adapted an organism becomes, the less adaptable it is to any new change. (R A Fisher)

Godwin's Law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one. (Mike Godwin)

Hanlon's Law: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. (?Robert Heinlein)

Heisenbug Uncertainty Principle: Most production software bugs are soft: they go away when you look at them. (Jim Gray)

Lister's Law: People under time pressure don't think faster. (Timothy Lister)

Murphy's Law: If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it. (Edward A Murphy)

Occam's Razor: The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct. (William of Occam)

Parkinson's Law: Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. (C Northcote Parkinson)

Pesticide Paradox: Every method you use to prevent or find bugs leaves a residue of subtler bugs against which those methods are ineffectual. (Bruce Beizer)

Spector's Law: The time it takes your favorite application to complete a given task doubles with each new revision. (Lincoln Spector)

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Dealing with idiots

Posted on November 26, 2007 By admin

Congratulations Eric, you win. I'm tired of arguing with you. It's very hard to try and have a rational conversation with somebody who keeps going “LA LA LA LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!!” all the time. Your method of arguing by repeating the same moronic arguments over and over again justifies your existence yet one more time.

I'm fed up of dealing with your autism. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I continue to argue with you, it makes you feel important and gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling inside while you crusade to prove me wrong. If I stop arguing with you, it makes you think you're right and justifies the whole waste of time and energy. At this point, I declare you the winner, if only because I have more important things to do than to deal with you and your shit.

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The cat came back!

Posted on November 20, 2007 By admin 2 Comments on The cat came back!

You know the impostor moggie that was wandering around the house on Saturday? He came back in last night while we were watching TV. Tolstoy happened to be downstairs when it happened. He was not amused, but only growled and rumbled his displeasure. We had to politely escort the offender outside ourselves.

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[Recipe] Steak & Ale Pie

Posted on November 20, 2007 By admin

The Laws of the Pie

An authentic steak and ale pie must have a shortcrust pastry lid and come in an oven-proof porcelain or ceramic dish. To truly impress, it must contain the largest amount of actual meat ever seen in a pie. It must always be piping hot when received and stay that way, thanks to the heat-conservation properties of the dish. A truly authentic pie must also arrive accompanied by a selection of potatoes and seasonal vegetables to give balance to the whole meal.

Pie Facts

There are several factors that influence the outcome of an outstanding steak and ale pie:

  • The Dish – You need one that holds heat well, so use a shallow ceramic crockpot or traditional pie dish.
  • The Meat – You need a good cut of beef, well-trimmed and suitable for long, slow cooking. A quality stewing or braising beef works best.
  • The Ale – For the sake of authenticity, this must be a traditional ale, even a stout will work, but if it is too bitter, you will need to tone it down with a dash of sugar. Some have been known to use cider or porter, and these are acceptable as variations on a theme. The ale provides a marinade base, into which you need to place your prepared, trimmed and cubed beef for at least two hours prior to cooking.
  • The Pastry – A truly traditional pie will be lovingly topped with a homemade shortcrust pastry. However, there are not many who will go down the route of preparing the pastry from scratch for a single pie. Enter the supermarket knight on its trusty steed carrying the ready-made packet of pastry. Buy it. Making it is a pain.

Seasoning

Salt and ground black pepper are the king and queen of seasoning and nutmeg is the prince. You massage the nutmeg and pepper into the meat before cooking and can add them to the marinade as well. However, keep the salt well away until the meat is cooked! Salt will pull the moisture out of the meat, making it tougher.

This dish needs a little more than just salt and pepper though; it needs a kick. You may think chilli would do it but you would be wrong. Think British, think authentic. That leaves you a choice of two items: mustard or horseradish. You pick, but don't overdo it this is comfort food after all.

Making the Pie

Ingredients:

  • a ceramic or porcelain dish
  • a packet of ready-made shortcrust pastry
  • 1kg lean braising or stewing steak, trimmed and cubed
  • 2 large white onion, peeled then chopped finely
  • 250g white mushrooms, cut in large chunks
  • 250g frozen peas
  • 1 tbsp plain flour
  • 500ml local ale
  • salt, pepper and nutmeg to taste
  • 1 tsp thyme
  • 2 bay leaves
  • a dash of English mustard or grated horseradish
  • 1 tspn vegetable oil for frying
  • an egg

I used Strong Suffolk Vintage Ale, make by Greene King. It has a very dark colour and almost-burnt caramel-y taste without being overpowering. I strongly recommend it.

Method

1. Place the beef in a non-metallic dish, having rubbed the meat with nutmeg and pepper, then cover with the ale of your choice and set aside for a couple of hours. You could do this the night before and place the dish, covered, in the bottom of your fridge.

2. When you are ready to begin the cooking process, bring out your dish of marinaded beef and set it aside. Place a pan on medium heat, drizzle some oil into it, chop the onion finely and drop it in to sautée gently. When the onion is a pale golden brown, take out your beef, piece by piece, dust with flour and drop into the pan to brown gently. Whisk the rest of the flour, the salt, the thyme and mustard or horseradish into the marinade mixture left in the dish. Once you have browned the beef sufficiently, slowly add the marinade mixture, the bay leaves and the mushrooms then leave to simmer and reduce.

3. While waiting for the liquid to reduce, roll out your pastry on a floured board. The stew needs to be moist but not wet when cooked, bearing in mind that some evaporation will take place in the oven. When it is ready, add the frozen peas and mix well. Ladle the stew into your dish (remove the bay leaves) and drape the pastry over it. Using a knife, trim the edges and make a hole in the top. Fold in the edges of the hole and use your knife to press into the pastry around all the edges and make a scalloped pattern – for a really professional look, you may decide to cut out little patterns and add them around the edges of the hole. Brush the top of the pastry with a little whisked egg yolk to glaze.

4. Place in a pre-heated medium oven at about 200for about 30 minutes, or until the pastry is golden brown and crisp. You should expect some variation in cooking from different ovens. Some hold moisture in, some allow it out, some distribute the heat with a fan, others insist on charring the top or bottom of your creation. The time and temperature offered here are in the way of a generalised pointer. If you are uncertain how your oven will perform, keep your eye on proceedings and use the colour of the pastry as a guide. Golden brown and crisp is your aim.

 
 

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Old School Sesame Street not for the little kiddies anymore

Posted on November 19, 2007 By admin

Sweeping the Clouds Away
By VIRGINIA HEFFERNAN

Sunny days! The earliest episodes of Sesame Street are available on digital video! Break out some Keebler products, fire up the DVD player and prepare for the exquisite pleasure-pain of top-shelf nostalgia.

Just dont bring the children. According to an earnest warning on Volumes 1 and 2, Sesame Street: Old School is adults-only: These early Sesame Street episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of todays preschool child.

Say what? At a recent all-ages home screening, a hush fell over the room. What did they do to us? asked one Gen-X mother of two, finally. The show rolled, and the sweet trauma came flooding back. What they did to us was hard-core. Man, was that scene rough. The masonry on the dingy brownstone at 123 Sesame Street, where the closeted Ernie and Bert shared a dismal basement apartment, was deteriorating. Cookie Monster was on a fast track to diabetes. Oscars depression was untreated. Prozacky Elmo didnt exist.

Nothing in the childrens entertainment of today, candy-colored animation hopped up on computer tricks, can prepare young or old for this frightening glimpse of simpler times. Back then as on the very first episode, which aired on PBS Nov. 10, 1969 a pretty, lonely girl like Sally might find herself befriended by an older male stranger who held her hand and took her home. Granted, Gordon just wanted Sally to meet his wife and have some milk and cookies, but . . . well, he could have wanted anything. As it was, he fed her milk and cookies. The milk looks dangerously whole.

Live-action cows also charge the 1969 screen cows eating common grass, not grain improved with hormones. Cows are milked by plain old farmers, who use their unsanitary hands and fill one bucket at a time. Elsewhere, two brothers risk concussion while whaling on each other with allergenic feather pillows. Overweight layabouts, lacking touch-screen iPods and headphones, jockey for airtime with their deafening transistor radios. And one of those radios plays a late-60s news report something about a senior American official and two billion in credit over the next five years that conjures a bleak economic climate, with war debt and stagflation in the offing.

The old Sesame Street is not for the faint of heart, and certainly not for softies born since 1998, when the chipper Elmos World started. Anyone who considers bull markets normal, extracurricular activities sacrosanct and New York a tidy, governable place well, the original Sesame Street might hurt your feelings.

I asked Carol-Lynn Parente, the executive producer of Sesame Street, how exactly the first episodes were unsuitable for toddlers in 2007. She told me about Alistair Cookie and the parody Monsterpiece Theater. Alistair Cookie, played by Cookie Monster, used to appear with a pipe, which he later gobbled. According to Parente, That modeled the wrong behavior smoking, eating pipes so we reshot those scenes without the pipe, and then we dropped the parody altogether.

Which brought Parente to a feature of Sesame Street that had not been reconstructed: the chronically mood-disordered Oscar the Grouch. On the first episode, Oscar seems irredeemably miserable hypersensitive, sarcastic, misanthropic. (Bert, too, is described as grouchy; none of the characters, in fact, is especially sunshiney except maybe Ernie, who also seems slow.) We might not be able to create a character like Oscar now, she said.

Snuffleupagus is visible only to Big Bird; since 1985, all the characters can see him, as Big Birds old protestations that he was not hallucinating came to seem a little creepy, not to mention somewhat strained. As for Cookie Monster, he can be seen in the old-school episodes in his former inglorious incarnation: a blue, googly-eyed cookievore with a signature gobble (om nom nom nom). Originally designed by Jim Henson for use in commercials for General Foods International and Frito-Lay, Cookie Monster was never a righteous figure. His controversial conversion to a more diverse diet wouldnt come until 2005, and in the early seasons he comes across a Childs First Addict.

The biggest surprise of the early episodes is the rural agrarian, even sequences. Episode 1 spends a stoned time warp in the company of backlighted cows, while they mill around and chew cud. This pastoral scene rolls to an industrial voiceover explaining dairy farms, and the sleepy chords of Joe Raposos aimless masterpiece, Hey Cow, I See You Now. Chewing the grass so green/Making the milk/Waiting for milking time/Waiting for giving time/Mmmmm.

Oh, whats that? Right, the trance of early Sesame Street and its country-time sequences. In spite of the shows devotion to its target child, the 4-year-old inner-city black youngster (as The New York Times explained in 1979), the first episodes join kids cavorting in amber waves of grain black children, mostly, who must be pressed into service as the face of Americas farms uniquely on Sesame Street.

In East Harlem and Bedford-Stuyvesant in 1978, 95 percent of households with kids ages 2 to 5 watched Sesame Street. The figure was even higher in Washington. Nationwide, though, the number wasnt much lower, and was largely determined by the whims of the PBS affiliates: 80 percent in houses with young children. The so-called inner city became anywhere that Sesame Street played, because the Childrens Television Workshop declared the inner city not a grim sociological reality but a full-color fantasy an eccentric scene, framed by a box and far removed from real farmland and city streets alike.

The concept of the inner city or slums, as The Times bluntly put it in its first review of Sesame Street was therefore transformed into a kind of Xanadu on the show: a bright, no-clouds, clear-air place where people bopped around with monsters and didnt worry too much about money, cleanliness or projecting false cheer. The Upper West Side, hardly a burned-out ghetto, was said to be the model.

People on Sesame Street had limited possibilities and fixed identities, and (the best part) you werent expected to change much. The harshness of existence was a given, and no one was proposing that numbers and letters would lead you out of your inner city to Elysian suburbs. Instead, Sesame Street suggested that learning might merely make our days more bearable, more interesting, funnier. It encouraged us, above all, to be nice to our neighbors and to cultivate the safer pleasures that take the edge off taking baths, eating cookies, reading. Dont tell the kids.

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Long weekend update

Posted on November 19, 2007 By admin

Katy and I had a very productive weekend. We'd both taken Friday off to go into town and finish up the last of our xmas shopping. People look at us like we're insane when we mention that all our shopping is done. It's not our fault – we were forced into it. And think, Katy's folks' shopping is not only done and completed, but also already all gift-wrapped. Scary!

I'd managed to book myself an appointment at my optometrist on Friday afternoon. The good news is that my eyesight is stable and as good as they can make it and my eyes are in good shape. The bad news is that my eyesight is just about borderline to drive. As in, it would probably come down to the DVLA eye exam to determine if I can drive or not. Not the news I wanted to hear, really. I'd hoped they could have tweaked my prescription just enough to allow me to drive, but that's not possible. Meh. I'll see if I start taking driving lessons anyway in the new year and hope for the best. Coming back home was a nightmare. We were stuck in rush hour Cambs traffic for well over an hour (for a journey that normally takes about 20 minutes) and then we finally made it home in time for Donna and Will to come over for dinner.

On Saturday, we went to Saffron Walden to go have a look at the new Adnams Wine Cellar that opened there. It's not as big as the main one in Southwold, but it was still interesting enough to pick up a few bottles of wine. We also stopped by the butchers there and couldn't resist walking away with 4 kilos of prime Scottish beef. Half of that is in braising steak form and the other half of that is cubed (and already marinating to be turned into a steak and strong Suffolk Ale pie tonight – watch this space!)

I took some pictures of the pussy cat.

   
 

He's such a grumpy animal, it's not even funny. This morning, even, he bit me while I was trying to get some stinging nettles and other flora seed pods out of his fur. He's also a crap guard cat. When we came back from grocery shopping on Saturday, I opened the front door and heard a cat bell jingling about upstairs. Nothing unusual about that. Except that the cat that was jingling about wasn't ours, but some unknown black & white spotted cat that we've seen before in the village. He'd simply wandered in using the cat flap and was having a mosey around the house. He seemed a bit shocked to see us because he bolted out the front door as soon as he saw me :)

We had to go into Cambs against our better judgement to go meet a friend of Katy's who was in town for a College dinner. Even taking the Park & Ride, it was insane. It was so crowded as to be unpleasant. It'll only get worse for the silly season. In that sense, I'm glad we don't need to go into town again for shopping. Our trip into town threw a bit of a spanner in our dinner plans and we ended up eating at 8pm. Not good. We'd planned to make nachos and pizza again but – gasp! – I'd done something silly and bought flavoured tortilla chips instead of the plain ones we needed. That wouldn't have been so bad if the flavoured ones didn't have garlic in them. Our food crisis was thankfully solved by a quick trip to the Sawston Budgeon's (we called to make sure they had some. They had, yay!). Homemade nachos? They rock.

Sunday was a slob day. We decided to take a break from the gym and spent as much of the day dressed down as we could. We decorated the house with xmas lights and put up our “tree”:

   
 

I'm also inordinately proud of the fact that I finally fixed the damn lock on the front door. The thing was getting so loose that the whole cylinder was wobbling when we were trying to lock or unlock the door. I had to take the backplate off and tighten all the screws holding everything in place but, thanks to that and a bit of WD40, it feels like a new lock. This makes me happy. It'd been getting on my nerves for weeks now.

We did the usual weekend stuff (dishes, laundry, tidying up, etc) and we also did something that I hope will become a staple of our weekends: we played a round of cribbage :) I've been teaching Katy and her parents how to play. Katy's a natural. I keep (jokingly) commenting that she's picking up the game too quickly for my liking.

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COMICS!!!!!

Posted on November 19, 2007 By admin

You remember a few days ago when I said that I had a few dozen comics lying around my laptop HD waiting to be put online?

Turns out I had 180.

180 new comics are now online, WOO!

Go forth and procrastinate: http://www.flubu.com/comics

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Amusing optical illusion of the day

Posted on November 19, 2007 By admin 5 Comments on Amusing optical illusion of the day

The image below can be perceived to be rotating clockwise or anti-clockwise. If you're seeing it rotate one way, it is possible to concentrate and “force” yourself to see it start rotating in the other direction.

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Hee Hee Hee!

Posted on November 16, 2007 By admin 1 Comment on Hee Hee Hee!

I haven't updated my onlinc comic collection in AGES! I have a few dozen waiting on my laptop but I just don't take the time to do so. Here are a few recent amusing ones :)

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