The beaver is a proud and noble animal

Lord Buckethead made an appearance at Glastonbury Festival on Friday.

Greeted by chants of his name, the former aspiring MP began: “Good evening Glastonbury! Are you having a good time? I am Lord Buckethead, intergalactic space lord.”

He then helpfully clarified: “I am not Lorde the New Zealand songstress,” before going on to reference Labour leader Jeremy’s Corbyn’s widely-publicised slot as a guest speaker at Glastonbury on Saturday.

“I thought to myself: why should the Pyramid stage be the only stage to receive a guest appearance from a political leader? The Park Stage should have one too! So here I am,” he explained, before revealing the “truth” behind his recent political tussle with the current Prime Minister.

“Now, it is only two weeks ago that I faced Theresa May,” Buckethead reminded his audience, pausing to allow for a chorus of boos at May’s name. “In the battle of the Magnet Leisure Centre, Maidenhead.

“The mainstream media would have you believe that she defeated me. Thirty-seven thousand votes to 249.”

In fact, Buckethead said, he had won the election, but had knowingly taken the better deal: instead of facing “agonising” Brexit negotiations in Brussels, he was free to attend Glastonbury.

Speaking to the Guardian after his appearance he gave some thoughts on how Brexit negotiations have been going.

“Could a slightly mouldy pain au chocolat negotiate Brexit better than Theresa May and David Davis? Yes. So yes I could, but whether I should is another matter.”

Asked what advice he would give May and Davis for Brexit, he said: “Be sophisticated, the Europeans are a smart bunch.

“There was a photograph the other day of the negotiating team from Great Britain and the negotiating team from Europe and the team from Europe looked so much smarter, they looked smarter sartorially, intellectually, and they had women, which is something British diplomats seem to have forgotten.”

It has been exactly one year since Britain voted to leave the European Union and all that this year has proven is that Brexit has been a deeply costly waste of time.

Since the referendum result we have seen:

– A year of leadership contests within the two main political parties in Britain;
– Court cases trying to prevent Brexit from happening;
– Embarrassing leaks demonstrating Prime Minister Theresa May’s weak ability to negotiate with the EU.
– Volatile markets, the decimation of the pound, and preparations for job relocations;
– A disastrous general election that has put Britain in line for a Brexit deal that looks very similar to what we have now;
– A government in disarray;
– And finally the possibility that Brexit could be reversed …

It is all a bit pointless. I mean even if you look at the EU referendum results from June 23, 2016, it was not even a resounding victory. Leave won by just 51.89% versus Remain at 48.11%.

Britain started Brexit talks this week and it has all been a bit of a farce. After Prime Minister Theresa May saying repeatedly over the last year that she would go in head first into negotiations with a “hard Brexit” plan — relinquishing full Single Market access in lieu of total control over immigration — her and her chief negotiator buckled during the first day of talks.

Firstly, the UK government has been forced to accept the EU’s timetable for talks and in areas that would not have been at the forefront of Britain’s priorities:

– Agreeing to let 3 million EU citizens that have lived in the UK for 5 years or more as “settled” post-Brexit.
– The Brexit divorce bill where Britain will have to agree to pay up to €99.6 billion (£87 billion) to the EU.

Britain and the EU will have to sort these issues out first — something the EU had continually said it wanted to do before trade negotiations begin. It is unlikely that Britain will come out strong from the talks, after all, it could not even get the timetable to its liking.