Notes from a bemused canuck
I’ve been feeling fine for weeks, and on the eve of a very important and expensive 4-day course, I catch the lurghy! I’m coughing, sniffling and my right ear is completely blocked. Yaaaaaay! Doesn’t help that Bean had a rough night and woke up crying twice last night, so I’m a bit braindead on top of everything. Today would be a day of caffeine and nicotine, if I still smoked.
Grump, I say, GRUMP!
I’ve had my bi-weekly guitar lesson and I’ve done my first blues exercies tonight. Fun!! I was chatting with Paul about what I want to play and where I want to go and this is it:
[Debate Moderator]
I’m gonna hold you to an answer on that. What makes America the greatest country in the world?
[Will]
Well, our Constitution is a masterpiece. James Madison was a genius. The Declaration of Independence is for me the single greatest piece of American writing. … You don’t look satisfied.
[Debate Moderator]
One’s a set of laws and the other is a declaration of war. I want a human moment from you.
[Will]
It’s NOT the greatest country in the world, Professor. That’s my answer.
[Debate Moderator]
You’re saying
[Will]
Yes.
[Debate Moderator]
Let’s talk about
[Will (Speaking to Sharon]
Fine. Sharon, the NEA is a loser. Yeah, it accounts for a penny out of our paycheck, but he gets to hit you with it anytime he wants. It doesn’t cost money. It costs votes. It costs airtime. And column inches. You know why people don’t like liberals? Because they lose. If liberals are so fuckin’ smart then how come they lose so goddamn always?
[Sharon]
Hey
[Will (to Lewis]
And with a straight face, you’re gonna sit there and tell students that America is so star-spangled awesome that we’re the only ones in the world who have freedom? Canada has freedom. Japan has freedom. The U.K. France. Italy. Germany. Spain. Australia. BELGIUM has freedom. (laughs) Two hundred and seven sovereign states in the world, like, a hundred and eighty of them have freedom.
[Debate Moderator]
All right
[Will]
And you, Sorority Girl, just in case you accidentally wander into a voting booth one day, there’s some things you should know. One of them is there’s absolutely no evidence to support the statement that we’re the greatest country in the world. We’re seventh in literacy. Twenty-seventh in math. Twenty-second in science. Forty-ninth in life expectancy. A hundred and seventy-eighth in infant mortality. Third in median household income. Number four in labor force and number four in exports. We lead the world in only three categories: Number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending, where we spend more than the next twenty-six countries combined, twenty-five of whom are allies.
Now none of this is the fault of a twenty-year-old college student, but you nonetheless are without a doubt a member of the worst, period, generation, period, ever, period. So when you ask what makes us the greatest country in the world, I dunno what the fuck you’re talkin’ about. Yosemite?
…
Sure used to be. We stood up for what was right. We fought for moral reasons. We passed laws, struck down laws, for moral reasons. We waged wars on poverty, not poor people. We sacrificed. We cared about our neighbors. We put our money where our mouths were. And we never beat our chest.
We built great big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases, and we cultivated the world’s greatest artists and the world’s greatest economy. [pause] We reached for the stars. Acted like men.
We aspired to intelligence. We didn’t belittle it—it didn’t make us feel inferior.
We didn’t identify ourselves by who we voted for in the last election, and we didn’t, oh, we didn’t scare so easy. Ha. We were able to be all these things and do all these things because we were informed. By great men. Men who were revered. First step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one. America is not the greatest country in the world anymore. [pause] Enough?
In the past, Bobble has shown that he can cut a rug with acid jazz. Now, being older and more streetwise, he’s turned his talons to dubstep!
As a side note, squeee! I got the flash movie player to work locally. No more youtube dependence for me :)
Really liking the opening ceremonies. The British history bit was cool, and you know, SHEEP!!! The drummers during the industrial revolution rocked. And word to the deaf drum leading lady!
Then there was the whole Mary Poppins vs Voldemort bit. They really did it! The music section was good, though disappointed with no Pink Floyd. Squeeee for Sir Tim and giggles for Mr Bean. Bit bummed I haven’t seen a Dalek yet :-(
The parade of countries is always the boring bit though. I like one of the comments from Katy’s FB that thinks that “half of the countries sound made up”.
I just really hope that Becks isn’t the one to light the cauldron. The man is a smug prat.
People don’t usually believe me when I tell them that I not only had hair (well, that they do believe), but that I’ve had blue hair, red hair, spent half a year as a bleached blond and, at one point for several years, had a ponytail down to the middle of my back.
I miss my hair.
Bean and I were waiting for the bus this morning when I saw a dead bird in the grass by the sidewalk. Except it wasn’t dead. It’d probably been hit by a car and limped there. I tried to call an animal rescue place but just as I was dialing, the bus came round the corner and the stubby tailed cat that comes to get free love by the bus people showed up so I think the animal rescue is a bit of a long shot. Methinks someone got an easy breakfast …
Katy’s operation on Monday went well and so far, so good. It got rid of a deep-tissue infection that’s been plaguing her since after Bean was born, so yeah, good riddance!
She was discharged on the day and has been feeling fairly well since, with only the occasional bouts of discomfort. Hopefully that’ll be the end of that! She needs to get the suture clips taken out next week.
The oldies were a big help with Bean. They went on a massive cleaning spree on Monday and installed new shelves in Bean’s room, then Mel and I spent the whole of Tuesday replacing the kitchen sink. Of course, this being our house, it fought us all the way. I swear the man who did most of the work a couple of owners ago was an idiot, or a cowboy bodger, or a mix of both. In the end, we ended up ripping out a large section of the drain pipe and redoing the work ourselves instead of trying to make everything fit with the loony-tunes installation that was there before. Wednesday was a chill day, with a side trip to Scottsdales. With the sunny weather we’ve been having all week, we had BBQs and chimenea fires all week.
Bean’s in nursery today and tomorrow, so the oldies have gone back home for a well-earned bit of peace and quiet.
Found this online this morning. Sooo many possibilities for crass innuendo, I don’t know where to begin :) For now, I’ll just say, “you’re doing it wrong”.
Comments from the peanut gallery?