The reinforcements needed to solve the G4S fiasco.
Chillin’ in the waiting room
Katy went in at noon. I went down to the concourse to have a bite to eat as it should be a couple of hours for her to have the op and get out of post-op observation. I firmly believe that the first person to design a comfy waiting room chair that the NHS can afford should get a knighthood.
Liveblogging Katy’s op
9:15 At Addenbrookes. Katy had her BP checked. Bit high. If it doesn’t come down, they’ll give her some drugs cause atm it’s too high to operate.
9:45 katy just had her BP checked again. Just having me around lowered her pressure by more than 10 points. Just goes to show what a bit of laughter and a quick grope can do :-) good to know that my years of being a letch came in handy (hur hur!) I keep telling Katy that it’s cause she’s relaxing cause she’s feeling well known emotions (happy anger, frustration and exasperation).
Somebody is liking the rain
Apparently, the BBC has been reporting on a bumper crop of slugs due to all the rain we’ve been getting. Found this guy on a brick wall on the way to the corner shop.
Porn, is there anything it can’t do?
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My take on a classic meme
Seriously, anybody with A-level science should be able to identify all of the pictures.
For those who can’t, here’s the answer key.
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The universe wants me to get a Jack Russell
I’ve had 4 encounters with Jack Russells in the last week. First off, we met our neighbour’s new dog. Then, there was the one at the pub during Antony’s leaving lunch. Then we saw one at Scottsdales on Wednesday, and last night, we saw a listing for JRT puppies going for £90 in the local newspaper.
DAGNABBIT!
Now is not the right time.
But soon. Soon…
Oh Google, is there anything you can’t do?
One of the little tasks I’m always finding myself doing is unit conversion. What’s 350oF in Celsius? How many ounces is 3/4 of a pound (Katy just asked me that one now)? I generally just google it and use the first link that comes up. Google just make it easier:
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Oh dear lord….
Dear Prudence is Slate.com’s agony aunt. She gets all the weirdos.
My husband had sex with me while I was in a drunken state. Should I divorce him?
Dear Prudence,
My husband is kind, supportive, funny, generous, smart, and loving. However, I feel like I must divorce him. Six years ago, when we were in our early 20s and had just fallen in love, after a night of partying and drinking, he woke me up in the middle of the night and started to have sex with me. I was dozing and still drunk and, yes, I took my panties off myself. But when I realized that it was not OK for him to make advances on me in my state, I pushed him away and ran out. He later felt so bad he wanted to turn himself in for rape. I was very confused and thought at times that I was overreacting and at others that I was raped. We painfully worked through this, but the incident made my husband very reluctant about having sex. This led to an agreement that he shouldn’t be afraid of coming close to me in similar situations as long as he asked my consent. This made us feel better and I felt secure again. However, we just found ourselves in a very similar situation. After coming back from a friend’s wine tasting we went to bed and he started to kiss me. I liked it and went along, only to wake up in the morning and remember only half of it. Now I am in the same painful spot I was before and I can’t fathom how he could have ignored our agreement. Should I just drop it or am I right about feeling abused?—Confused
Dear Confused,
I understand the need for colleges to have unambiguous codes of sexual conduct for their young, horny, possibly plastered students. These often require getting explicit permission for every escalating advance. However, if two adults are in love and have frequently made love then each can assume implicit consent to throw such legalistic caution—as well as panties—to the wind. Certainly spouses are entitled to say, “Not tonight” or “Not there,” and have such a request respected. But even a married couple who have had sex hundreds of times can enjoy that alcohol might ignite a delightful, spontaneous encounter. Your approach, however, seems to be to treat your sex life as if it is subject to regulatory review by the Department of Health and Human Services. Your prim, punctilious, punitive style has me admiring your put-upon husband’s ability to even get it up, given the possibility he’ll be accused of rape—or turn himself in for it!—if one of you fails a breathalyzer test. Living in terror that expressing one’s perfectly normal sexual desire could end one’s marriage, and freedom, is itself a form of abuse. Stop acting like a parody of a gender-studies course catalog and start acting like a loving wife. If you can’t, then give the poor sap a divorce.—Prudie
Yet another reason to hate “50 shades of grey”
Following the success of erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey, one enterprising publisher has ‘sexed up’ some of the greatest works of English literature for the 21st century. The existing texts have been interspersed with more racy scenes – some in toe-curling language that would surely have made the original authors blush. All of the revamped titles come from classic works whose copyright has expired and are therefore in the public domain. These include Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, 20,000 leagues under the sea and Sherlock Holmes: A Study in Scarlet.
From the publisher:
The old fashioned pleasantries and timidity have all been stripped away, quite literally. You didn’t really think that these much loved characters only held hands and pecked cheeks did you? Come with us, as we embark on a breathtaking experience—behind the closed bedroom doors of our favorite, most-beloved British characters. Learn what Sherlock really thought of Watson, what Mr Darcy really wanted to do to Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and unveil the sexy escapades of Mr Rochester and Jane Eyre. We’ll show you the scenes that you always wanted to see but were never allowed. Come on, you know you can’t resist…
When Dr John Watson takes rooms in Baker Street with amateur detective Sherlock Holmes, he has no idea that he is about to enter a shadowy world of criminality and violence. Nor does he anticipate falling in love with Holmes and having his sexual needs attended to in a way he had only previously dreamed about.
Accompanying Holmes to an ill-omened house in south London, Watson is startled to find a dead man whose face is contorted in a rictus of horror. There is no mark of violence on the body yet a single word is written on the wall in blood. Dr Watson is as baffled as the police, but Holmes’ brilliant analytical skills soon uncover a trail of murder, revenge and lost love…
Along with Holmes, Watson throws himself into finding the killer, but also finds himself. As Watson reveals more of his desires to his lover, Holmes does his utmost to make sure those desires are met. In a heady time where Watson is thrust into a horrifying murder case, the love he feels for Holmes, and the sexual experiences they share, help him to remain level-headed until the killer is caught.