What to do when the one you love freaks you out

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Katy went bursar last night, and I have no dried frog pills.

I've never actually seen anybody go from manic laughter to crying before, and that freaked me out. Big time. I don't think I handled it well either. It just completely caught me off guard.

Things were going well too, I don't know where this is coming from. Her last car accident really shook something loose in her, because she's been off-kilter ever since.

She's always tired, she's really REALLY touchy, and… its hard dealing with it, of letting things slide when she's snippy at me. I know she doesn't mean it, and that she's not at her best. But sometimes I just wish that she'd remember that I'm not responsible for this and I'm on her side.

I don't know what to do to help her deal with her worries. I try and get her to talk trhough it – while at the same time worrying I'm prying and/or pushing her too much – and all she can tell me is that she doesn't know why she feels happy and sad at the same time and can't decide which one it is, or why.

I know this will sound extremely selfish, but I'm also tired fo having to be the solid, dependable one. I can't have a bad day, or feel crappy about things, because it seems that I have to be happy for both of us. Do you know how it feels to be told “I need you to tell me happy things”? Sometimes I feel like I'm balancing on a tightrope.

I want my old sweetie back, the one who's happy and horny and has energy and laughs for the fun of it.

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What do you do when somebody is hurting?

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I'm worried about my sweetie. Things are not going well morale-wise. She's fed up of being sick, which is perfectly understandable, and she's always tired because her cough is keeping her up at night. I wouldn't be overly worried if it was only that though, because those things will get better as she heals.

What *is* worrying me though is that she seems very… fragile right now, for lack of a better word. I don't know how to help.

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A pea-souper

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There was a lot of fog outside on my way to work today. For some reason, that made me think of the old London pea-souper† fogs, and how it must've been in those days. Come Watson, the game's afoot!

† Thick yellow fog. It had been common to heat dwellings by burning soft coal, sending soot up the multiple chimney stacks one still sees protruding from the roofs. The emitted smoke particles made ideal condensation nuclei in more than ample numbers — a perfect recipe for fog to form when the air was still and the ground was cold.

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A food bomb exploded in my kitchen

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I've been a busy little beaver in the kitchen this weekend. Made salsa yesterday and ketchup today. I forgot to dilute out the polish vinegar this time though, so it has a bit of a kick to it, but it tastes nice nevertheless :) I added a dollop of chillie/ginger mix to the ketchup. It adds another dimension to the mix, not unpleasant.

I also made a stuffed chicken today. I have to say, I think I made the BESTEST stuffing I've ever made. Minced up a porc tenderloin cause I ran out of porc mince, added some onions, peppers, mushrooms, sage, and an assload of coriander. Mixed it up with some basmati rice and stuffed the bird. Ohh, baby! Nummay! We ate way too much :) All in all, a good sunday dinner.

We finished watching the first season of Hustle, a BBC series I bought on DVD. Really nice. I can't wait for the new series to start this winter, as well as the new Dr. Who. yay :)

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Start spreading the news…

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… I'm leaving on December 19th. Katy worked out her leave schedule for the holidays and we're going to be in Canadia from the 19th to the 27th. So that means I'll be spending a few days in Montreal before the holidays, xmas at the folks' then fly back to England. Katy works on New Years, so we'll see if we can convince her folks to spend the weekend in Cambridge and have a booze fest :)

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