The beaver is a proud and noble animal

 

For your yoinking pleasure.

Since she's been here, 3 different people have referred to Katy as my wife. If 3 people say it, it must be true. There was the vet when I went with Boris, and two people at the Jewish ER this morning: a nice woman who gave me a toonie to get Katy some water when the *@$&%*#% machine wouldn't give me change for a new 20$ bill and the discharge nurse this morning.

Cause, oh, ya, detail, we spent the night at the hospital last night. Katy had been feeling poorly for the last few days, but things went beyond my comfort zone last night. After her second bout of really bad chills and generalized body ache, the people at InfoSante thought it best to get to the hospital to have things checked out. I'm really REALLY pissed at the new thermometer I bought. I was thinking she might be running a fever, but the friggin thing kept saying that it was all nice and reasonable and below 100oF. Turns out, she was running quite a high fever due to a bacterial infection that dropped in uninvited. They kept her overnight for observation and fluids. After waiting for what seemed forever, she got a gurney and I got a chair and things pretty much stayed like that for 10 hours.

She's still less than stellar, but my wife should be over the worst of it. Give her some love why don't you. I will.

Disgruntled Asian Tattoo Artist Inks His Revenge

Pitt junior Brandon Smith wanted a tattoo that proclaimed his manliness, so he decided to get the Chinese characters for strength and honor on his chest. After 20 minutes under the needle of local tattoo artist Andy Sakai, he emerged with the symbol for small penis embedded in his flesh.

I had it for months before I knew what it really meant, Smith said.

Then I went jogging through the Carnegie Mellon campus and a group of Asian kids started laughing and calling me Shorty. Thats when I knew something was up.

Sakai, an award-winning tattoo artist, was tired of seeing sacred Japanese words, symbols of his heritage, inked on random white people. So he used their blissful ignorance to make an everlasting statement. Any time acustomer came to Sakais home studio wanting Japanese tattooed on them, he modified it into a profane word or phrase.

All these preppy sorority girls and suburban rich boys think theyre so cool cause they have a tattoo with Japanese characters. But it doesnt mean shit to them! Sakai said. The dumbasses dont even realize that Ive written slut or pervert on their skin!

In the last month, seven people unknowingly received explicit tattoos from the disgruntled artist. Kerri Baker, a Carlow College freshman, paid $50 to have the symbols for beautiful goddess etched above her belly button, but when she went into Szechuan Express Asian Noodle Shop sporting a bare midriff, the giggling employees explained to her that the tattoo really said, Insert General Tsos Chicken Here!

I dont even like General Tsos! Baker sobbed. Im a vegetarian!

Sakai doesnt feel guilty about using hapless college students as canvases for his graffiti.

I think Im helping my fellow man by labeling all the stupid people in the world, he explained. Its not a crime, its a public service.

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Asian Tattoo Artist Inks Revenge Behind Bars

When local tattoo artist Andy Sakai was sentenced to five years in prison for inking profanities on hordes of hapless customers, many thought his days of body desecration were over.

They were wrong.

Sakais latest victims are no longer college students. His current targets are, ironically, his fellow inmates.

Using a tattoo gun fashioned out of a sharpened paper clip, dental floss, and a ballpoint pen taped to a plastic spork, the disgruntled prisoner has drawn Black Panther Party symbols on white supremacists, written CRIPS 4 EVA on rival gang members, and left dozens of hardened criminals with butterflies, fairies, and unicorns permanently etched in their skin.

“I wanted a stack of skulls on my back,” said murderer Jimmy Drake, “and that Asian prick gave me a giant Winnie the Pooh!”

Many prisoners ask for spider webs on their elbows to signify time spent in jail. Sakais webs have hidden messages in them such as, “Fuck Cops,” “I Swallow,” and “Salad Tosser.” Sakai got the idea for the cryptic tats after reading Charlottes Web in the prison library. “That E.B. Whites a genius, man,” Sakai proclaimed.

For his own protection, Sakai has been moved to solitary confinement where hell serve the rest of his sentence.

“Prison isnt so bad,” Sakai said. “It gives me time to sit and seriously contemplate my next diabolically evil plan!”

Left work early today. I had the headache that wouldn't quit and Katy was also feeling quite crappy. She's been feeling under the weather for the last few days. I think she's coming down with a cold. The classic signs: headaches, fever, full body aches and now a bit of a cough is coming in. Grrrrr *kicks the cold*. I'm doing my best to keep her comfy – there's not much else I can do at the moment and that pisses me off to no extent. There's a pot of homemade chicken soup simmering on the oven, and I'm making sure she has enough liquids.

I tried my hand at making quiche last night. The pastry was a challenge. I wanted to hurl everything through my kitchen window at one point. Still, I managed to salvage something that Katy says is decent – even if I found it a bit too dry and crumbly. The quiche filling itself though was a smashing success: eggs, milk, cheese, cream, bacon, leeks and mushrooms. It was all golden brown when it came out of the oven and was nummy. We had it again for breakfast this mornign :)

I'm being attacked by a pink dinosaur whose name effectively means nosehair.

… or in other words, All Your Brains Are Belong To Us.

One in three U.S. high school students say the press ought to be more restricted, and even more say the government should approve newspaper stories before readers see them, according to a survey being released today. The survey of 112,003 students finds that 36% believe newspapers should get “government approval” of stories before publishing; 51% say they should be able to publish freely; 13% have no opinion. Asked whether the press enjoys “too much freedom,” not enough or about the right amount, 32% say “too much,” and 37% say it has the right amount. Ten percent say it has too little.

Original link here: http://www.usatoday.com/news/education/2005-01-30-students-press_x.htm

Yes, it's what you think it is. Katy's reaction: you are *so* washing that. Poor thing was really traumatized. You should have seen the wild look on his face when he touched the buzzy thing :D

Said this morning: “I want a hig and a kuss”…

That's one of my better ones.